- 5 years ago
I had been with my partner (let’s call him Mark) over 2 years when I broke up with him in January. I had been getting so annoyed that he hasn’t proposed yet, that I’d started picking out all his faults and started convincing myself I’d be better off without him. I won’t go through all the details but our relationship could basically be summed up as – Not perfect, but good. We had areas that we needed to work on and we had a few quirks that annoyed each other, but other than that, we were good. But somehow it turned into a break-up….
I started dating someone new (let’s call him Andrew) mere days after I left Mark. He swept me off my feet. Apart from being considerably older than me, and being married and divorced twice (with two children), he was great! He treats me like a princess, I can rely on him, he’s thoughtful, kind,caring, makes me happy etc.
During my time with Andrew, however, I still found myself frequently thinking about Mark. Even though I felt really happy with Andrew, I often thought of Mark and fantasised about getting back together.
Finally, I just gave in to temptation and started talking to him again. I found an excuse to meet up and once we were face-to-face, I confessed that I had been thinking about him, and that we could probably work it out, etc. I didn’t ask to get back together directly. I just told him how I was feeling. He admitted that he still had feelings for me, but that considering I was still in a relationship with Andrew and also considering I had just randomly walked back into his life out of the blue with this surprise, he wanted time to think about what I said and work out whether he thinks we should get back together (He’s always been one to overanalyse everything!!!).
The problem is that I’m still not 100% sure which man I’d rather be with. I love them both and I’m compatiable with both. Each one has a lot of strengths and the odd weakness here and there. The real problem is that I’m struggling to balance out the short term and the long term prospects. Andrew is definitely the best Mr Right Now a girl could ask for. We have a great relationship and he makes me so happy. He treats me amazingly well. But he’s A LOT older than me (he’s in his mid 40s, I’m in early 20s) and our life stages are totally different.
Mark on the other hand is probably Mr Right. He’s sensible and grounded and I’m a better person with him. We’re also a lot closer in age and stage.
What should I do to help me make the right decision?