(Closed) Mrs Manners has spoken on complaining about you ring or proposal

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 122
Member
3076 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@carmelbride103:  yes agreed, the staged events and faux drama make me roll my eyes..

But give me a ring that I like, dammit! That lasts for a lifetime.

Post # 123
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

@MrsSnowMountain:  I would love to see your ring! Hmm maybe I’ll start an antique Engagement Ring thread if there’s not one already…

Post # 124
Member
13931 posts
Honey Beekeeper

When H proposed, the restaurant was so dark, I literally could not see the ring. At all.  I said yes anyway,  told him that it was stunning and that I loved it and him.  There is no way I was going to spoil that  special moment.  I didn’t tell him for months!  PS He did just fine. 

 

Post # 125
Member
8291 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My thoughts on this–If you are preparing to ask someone to marry you, but will leave that person due to their disappointment in the ring then don’t ask. You are not ready for marriage. If you get a ring you do not like and doubt your relationship, don’t say yes. You are not ready for marriage. If you can that easily throw it all away then you are simply not ready. Far more serious issues will come along in your marriage. If you can give up so easily over a ring, you are not ready. If you two can talk about it, come to a compromise, and agree on a solution then you are ready. 

Post # 126
Member
2590 posts
Sugar bee

@jmt:  there’s nothing special about you shopping for your own jewelry

It was an extremely special thing when DH and I went shopping for my ring.  It was the most significant thing we had ever done together.  You might not want your GF’s input, but I don’t think you should disparage those of us who made our decisions together as a couple.

Post # 127
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

Mrs Manners nailed it!

The guy’s going to get bossed around for the rest of the marriage, just let him do the propposal his way! Lol. <– Purely joking!

 

I can understand in some cases being disappointed with the ring if it’s not the lady’s style, but I’m SOOOOO over this bullshit about huge public proposals! I’d personally be mortified if SO made a flash mob to propose to me. Sure it’s sweet and he’s gone to a lot of effort to do it etc… But it’s too OTT. No wonder guys take their time to propose, with the pressure we put on them to get married and then the added pressure of the OTT proposals that society has put on them too, it’s ridiculous.

Post # 128
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@nerdybird Oh I know! I promise I’m not offended, just wanted to put my experience out there! 🙂 Mostly in response to jmt, to show that picking a ring together CAN be special! … But now I see that I should just give up on getting through to him, lol.

Glad to hear that you’re back to loving your ring! 🙂

View original reply
@MsChandler:  Aw thanks! It’s in my profile pic, and I’ve probably already posted it on antique threads, lol. Sounds like we both have a liking for antique e-rings! I might go creep you and look for a pic so I don’t thread-jack, lol…

 

Post # 129
Member
36 posts
Newbee

@ceebree:  That’s more geared towards the women who shop for it on their own without their significant other’s consideration or input.

Post # 130
Member
1790 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I picked out my own ring and I’m sooo glad bec Fiance told me he would have chosen a princess cut and I wanted a round. phew! I will adore my ring til I die and it’s not one iota less special  bec I picked it out. Its more special bec it is exactly what I’ve always dreamed of having and we picked it out together as a couple. The proposal? Now that was aaaaallll up to Fiance. He did great with a home proposal, the two of us, incorporating our recent vacation memories in how he asked. It was all a dream come true.

Its one thing to redo the ring and another to make Fiance redo the proposal. Two different things.

Post # 131
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas

@jmt:  

This was true for me. My fiancé went above and beyond my expectations and he chose something he knew I would love.

Post # 132
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:  Yreah, agreed, basically it comes down to this.

@jmt if you’re willing to view your relationship as so disposable, that’s a really bad sign… it’s just awful that the piece of jewelry seems to central to your thinking that you would end a relaitonship over it :/

Post # 133
Member
36 posts
Newbee

@MrsSnowMountain:  This is completely rude of me, but a quick jaunt through your post history has moved your opinion to the bottom of the pile. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding your personal life, but from what you’ve shared on this forum, we are on two completely different levels.

Post # 134
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

maybe I am weird, but I only thought about what type of engagement ring I wanted for a second…when I got what I have i LOVED it..i LOVED it because HE bought it for me, and made sure it was a ring I would be proud of…

 

I also wear my TML jersey on a regular basis because HE bought it for me….I love it because he put effort into it….and THAT’s what matters…

 

I feel anyone who puts the ring and proposal above a life with a man they love and who loves them, is someone who should NOT be in a relationshp at this point in their life….

 

My Fiance and I bought a house together 5 years ago…and that was MUCH more important to me than a ring or a wedding…and now we’re having a wedding in 2.5 weeks…

I guess it’s priorities in life

Post # 135
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@jmt:  I really don’t understand this attitude toward the ering. An engagement ring is a gift from the man to the woman. When I buy someone a gift, particularly an expensive one, my main concern is getting them something that they will really love. I do my best to pick the right thing, but if I got it wrong I would absolutely want the recipient to politely let me know. I’d rather return and get something they really love, then have them keep something that’s not to their liking.

The whole purpose of a gift is that it’s about the recipient, not the giver. I just can’t imagine wanting someone special to keep a gift they don’t like, just to satisfy my own pride.

Post # 136
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

@jmt:  I find it amusing that you would leave your gf if she didnt like the ring you bought her but your asking advice from strangers how to pick it. Clearly you, like many men, aren’t completely sure on what she wants.

 

Also you seem so certain that she wants one bigger than the ones she’s told you she wants. Either your wrong and assuming that you know better than her and therefore your going to buy her something she doesnt like or your right and for some reason she feels like she cant tell you what she wants. 

 

 

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