"Mrs./Mr." or First Name with In-Laws?

posted 12 months ago in Family
  • poll: How do you refer to your in-laws?
    Mr./Mrs. Whatever : (4 votes)
    5 %
    First Names : (71 votes)
    81 %
    Other : (13 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 2
    2583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I go back and forth between her first name and calling her mama (the Russian way to say mom) depends on the situation and how lovey I am feeling. Father in law passed away five weeks before the wedding so I never got a chance to call him papa. 

    I find it strange they insist their daughter in law calls them by such formal names. Like you are a stranger. 

    Post # 3
    2736 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I call them by the first names or Granny and Grandpa if we are with our son. It would seem weird to me to call them by their formal titles.


    Post # 4
    7613 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    hickoryhills :  First names unless we’re with my daughter and then it’s Oma and Opa. But if they preferred something else I’d use what they asked me. 

    Post # 5
    1825 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

     When I was young in my first marriage it was mr. And Mrs for a long time.  Eventually I called her mama first name.  

    Now that I’m 31 and headed toward my second marriage it is first names only. 


    Are they specifically asking you to call them by their formal titles or that’s just how they introduced themselves to you? 

    What do other adults call them?

    If they are always known formally,  then I’d probably respect their wishes until having a kid,  then they’d be grandma and grandpa. 

    0therwise, I’d wait for a casual moment and ask what they would be preferred to be called after the wedding. That will give them the opportunity to rethink in a polite way. 

    Post # 6
    1680 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    When I met my in-laws they said “call me First Name” and “call me First Name” so it was easy. His stepfather wanted me to call him dad but I was like “no” lol so I call him by his first name like my fiance does. No one’s had a problem with that!

    Post # 7
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I’ve always called my FH’s parents Mr/Mrs out of respect and personally will until they ask me to call them by their first name. My mom from the very beginning told my FH to call her by her first name. My FH always says I can call his parents by their first name, but I was raised to always call people by their formal title unless they say otherwise. 

    Granted it will be strange when we get married and both his mother and I will be Mrs. Xxxxxx so hopefully she will tell me to call her by her first name by then lol. 

    Post # 8
    632 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

    I’ve been with my husband over 6 years, and I still don’t know what to call his mum! It’s got to the point where it’s been too long to ask now, and she doesn’t seem to know either – she signs my birthday cards “from N’s mum”…

    Post # 9
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I call my in-laws Mom and Dad or Memaw and Papa depending on if we are around my husbands nieces and nephew or not. I’ll use their first names if I’m talking about them to other people.

    Post # 10
    31 posts
    • Wedding: October 2018 - NC

    My fiance’s parents told me when I first met them to call them by their first names. They were almost offended when I tried to call them Mr and Mrs Xxxx! My mother, however, still expects my fiance to call her Mrs. Xxxxx. 


    My parents are divorced now, but even during their 27-year marriage, they called their inlaws Mr and Mrs. Xxxxx. 

    Post # 11
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I call my future in laws by their first names. That’s what They introduced themselves to me as, I would have found it incredibly difficult to call them Mr and Mrs. I’m not a very formal person and I don’t come from a very formal family, we call aunts and uncles by their first names not uncle or aunt. My nephews call me by my first name not Auntie. 

    Its not that I don’t know the formalities and what’s expected as respectful, I was taught that,  and when introduced to adults as a child I first called them Mr and Mrs, unless introduced differently, but then it was never used in my family. 

    Post # 12
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2019

    My FHs parents insisted on first names and my parents did the same.

    Post # 13
    117 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    Believe it or not I’ve been with Darling Husband for 6 years, married 3 months, and have managed to avoid calling my in laws anything ever. At first I felt weird calling them by their first names and then it had been so long I didn’t know how to just start. If I’m speaking about fil to mil or vice versa I’ll say “your husband/wife”. Lol I really need to sort this out. We are very close other wise and she will sign our cards mom/dad. 

    Post # 14
    3216 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    They insist on being called Mr and Mrs?? That’s super weird lol

    I honestly don’t think I know anyone who refers to their in-laws as Mr and Mrs. 

    Post # 15
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    They have actually asked me to call them by their first name, but I can’t help but call the Mr./Mrs. in their presence! It was just the way I was raised! I still call all my friend’s parents Mr./Mrs. It is just a sign of respect. 

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