"Mrs./Mr." or First Name with In-Laws?

posted 12 months ago in Family
  • poll: How do you refer to your in-laws?
    Mr./Mrs. Whatever : (4 votes)
    5 %
    First Names : (71 votes)
    81 %
    Other : (13 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 16
    3601 posts
    Sugar bee

    eazybreezy :  This cracks me up, because I did the same thing with an ex-boyfriend’s mom! I was not close to her and she always kinda made me nervous so I literally never addressed her by anything ever.

    Post # 17
    733 posts
    Busy bee

    First names. My brother called his in-laws Mr/Mrs for years and they never corrected him. I swear it was a power thing for them and they loved it. He stopped on his own after they were married and had kids of their own. 

    My husband was still calling his childhood best friend’s parents by Mr/Mrs when he was 30. At the friend’s wedding the dad said to him, “How old are you now? You’re an adult yourself. You don’t have to call me Mr. Smith anymore. I’m John.”

    Post # 18
    9384 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would call them by their first names. Sorry inlaws you’re my peers, not my superiors.

    Post # 19
    2816 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

    While we dated and were engaged it was apparent I was supposed to address my future in-laws as Mr. & Mrs. T. Once we were married they said I could call them by their first names or Mom/Dad so that’s what I did. I thought it was a little weird and stuffy but oh well.

    Post # 20
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

    hickoryhills :  I call my in laws by their first name, but now that we are getting very close to married and I have really grown up with them as family almost (my fiance and I are high school sweethearts), I’ve starting throwing mom and dad in there occasionally. They have no issues and actually kind of like it, as they already see me as a daughter!

    For example, when Future Mother-In-Law drove me across town to buy something wedding related as we do not own a car, as she dropped me off I said “Thank you mom! You’re the best!”

    Post # 21
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I call them by their first names.  Have since I met them!  I think I wanted to start with Mr and Mrs but then they said to call them by their first names.

    Post # 22
    6320 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I find it so hoity toity to expect your daughter/son in law to call you Mr or Mrs lol. Reminds me of a teacher or something. I have never met anyone who calls their ILs that. So weird to me! I don’t even call my boss that. Our CEO/CFO/COO all go by first names to employees too. 

    Post # 23
    709 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    I still feel weird calling them by their first names, so I tend to call them Mama (Last Name) and Papa (Last Name) as a way to be funny and affectionate. But I really do it as a cop out, haha.

    Post # 26
    2917 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    hickoryhills :  First names… and we never even had to discuss it, we just address eachothers mothers like we would any other adult that we meet.

    Post # 27
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    My fiancé’s parents introduced themselves by their first names so that’s what I call them. I’d feel so weird calling them Mr and Mrs!

    Post # 28
    835 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2019

    eazybreezy :  so funny because I do the same! I do sometimes use their names when referring to them but it is so awkward! I know they wouldn’t want formal titles but they haven’t specified first names either. LOL 

    Post # 29
    1005 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    hickoryhills :  My MIL’s name is Linda. Sometimes we yell LISTEN LINDA (like the kid on youtube). She thinks it’s funny 🙂

    Post # 30
    651 posts
    Busy bee

    This is so funny to me. For those who use Mr./Mrs. are there instances at the dinner table where you’re like “Mr. Jones, could you please pass the salt and pepper?” To me, that would be awkward and uncomfortable. Mind you, I’d probably just be generally uncomfortable around people who thought they were so much more superior than me that they deserved to be referred to formally. 

    My fi and I call each other’s parents by their first names. It would never occur to either of us or our parents to use anything but. 


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