Mrs or Ms

posted 5 months ago in Weddingbee
Post # 16
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee

Up to you, but my personal preferance has always been Ms.  It’s always irked me that men get the same title whether they’re married or not (Mr.) but we’re supposed to signal our availability (Miss vs Mrs).  

Post # 17
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

 misslucy :  THIS.

When booking flights, appointments, reservations I’m always asked to choose between Miss and Mrs (we don’t have a Ms. equivalent in my language).

And I’m like, Why does the airline need to know my marital status to book a flight?!

Post # 18
Member
7911 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Using Ms rather than  Mrs or Miss is entirely do with the idea that you do not have to announce your martial status ,just as men  do with the maritally-neutral Mr. 

It  is not to do with what surname  or combination of surnames you use, yours, his, an  amalgam,  whatever. Nor is it anything to do with *age or divorce  or any of the the strange things it has become  contaminated with .  It is merely a maritally-neutral term .

 

* though I guess you might address a little girl as Miss  on an  invitation etc  as you might address  a little boy as  Master  

Post # 19
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Personal preference. I use Ms. now and I will continue using it after we get married. I don’t like Mrs. at all! 

Post # 20
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

in some countries (e.g Germany) the Mrs term has become more about age than marital status. Adult women will more often be called Frau regardless of whether they are married. 

I think miss and master are appropriate for children for sure. 

I just wish Ms sounded better. To me it just sounds incomplete so I prefer not to use it. 

Post # 21
Member
7911 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Twizbe :  

I take your point about the way it sounds, but that sort of thinking is why people find it so effing hard to say chairwoman  because  chairman seems so ‘normal ‘  and  ‘manning’ the phones  instead of ‘staffing’, ‘mankind’ and not ‘humankind’ and so forth, 

Post # 22
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Not quite the same. Chairperson is a complete word. Ms sounds incomplete. elderbee :  

Post # 23
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

As far as I’ve always seen, Mrs. is for a married woman and Ms. is for an unmarried woman (Ms. is universal–never married, divorced, widowed, etc)

Post # 24
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee

lisaeversman :  I think you’re confusing Ms. with Miss. Miss is for an unmarried woman. Ms. was invented in the 70s to have a term that didn’t signal a woman’s marital status, and it’s usually pronounced with a z rather than the soft s of Miss. 

Post # 25
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

browneyedgirl24 :  Must be colloquial.  I’m not confused. 

As far as I’ve always seen–Miss is for a child (under 18).  Ms. is for an unmarried woman (18 and up).

Post # 26
Member
7911 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Twizbe :  

Chairperson  is usually the word that people use when trying not say Chairwoman. I think Ms can  only be called incomplete  if you think Mrs is the complete version.  

My objection is  that  it  assumes male as  the norm  and female  as aberration,  just as it assumes  married woman title the norm and neutral title  the aberration.  

Post # 27
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you misunderstand me. If you Ms with my accent it just doesn’t sound like a word chairperson is a complete word and sounds like it. 

If a woman wishes to be known as Ms or Mrs then that is her choice and I respect that. I personally prefer Mrs as I think it sounds better. I’m not saying it is better or anything like that. elderbee :  

Post # 29
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Twizbe :  Same, and I associate Ms. with a widow. 

Post # 30
Member
7911 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

midgy86 :  

Well maybe you do, but the plain fact is and always has been that Ms is for any adult woman who does not wish to label herself married or unmarried. I’m sorry, but you and lisaeversman :  are just wrong on this. 

More than wrong in fact,  in that you have twisted  an important if fairly minor political gain, (ie the escape from the married/single/divorced label that men have always escaped) into some new and inaccurate form of the old label. 

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