Mrs or Ms

posted 10 months ago in Weddingbee
Post # 31
Member
1665 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I use mrs wherever I can. I’m young and am in a professional setting where seniority and experience really matter so I so whatever I can to be seen as grown up

I’m a married mom and a homeowner but I’m pushing 30 and could pass for early 20s so to further my career, being a mrs helps I feel

Post # 32
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

elderbee :  Am I missing something? What are you talking about?!! I just simply agreed that with a pp that said she doesn’t think anyone is wrong just what she prefers for herself.  I think you need to realize that people in different regions associate/use the titles differently. No one is wrong or twisting anything.  I have always known widows or divorcees as MS.  Does that mean I think it’s wrong for others to put MS? no, I could care less, just adding to the convo.  Your tone in your msg to me seems as if you have a chip on shoulder. 

Post # 33
Member
18 posts
Newbee

midgy86 : I don’t think anyone has a chip on their shoulder; it’s just that some facts are being ignored. While it’s obviously fine to have a personal preference, it is wrong to suggest that Ms. is specifically for widows and divorcées or other unmarried women only when that just isn’t the case. Preferences are not facts. If you Google “definition of Ms.” you will find “a title used before the surname or full name of any woman regardless of her marital status.” Since Mrs. was traditionally only used in conjunction with the husband’s name (as has already been pointed out), many women who are married but either keep their original last name or hyphenate will use Ms. Others prefer Mrs. Again, I think everyone had the right to make that decision for themselves, but also to make it with factual information. 

Post # 34
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

SeaShellsBells :  Again.  I never said its only to be used in that context nor did i suggest it. I said I have always encountered it being used in those particular situations.  I’ve also seen it used when marital status isn’t known.  Please do not tell me It’s wrong and look up definition. I don’t care. You’re arguing something that was never my point to begin with. 

Post # 35
Member
18 posts
Newbee

midgy86 :  Well you said you thought Ms. was for widows and divorcées but that others could use it if they want. It was clear that a few people had an incorrect definition of the title, so that’s why I included it. If you don’t care what the definition is I guess that’s fine, but the definition is pretty critical to the discussion. It’s sort of like if someone had said bridal veils were designed for brides who had previously lost a child but other people could wear them too if they want. That’s not correct, so I would hope that someone would mention that and set the facts straight. 

Post # 37
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

SeaShellsBells :  I associate it with widows and divorcees and marital status unknown because that’s how I see it most commonly used. I said I dont care because I wasn’t trying to argue a point. Was just sharing experience. 

Post # 38
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

It’s odd to me that Ms. is associated with divorcees and widows…I’m a young person (mid/late 20s) and have never heard that association. I find it really unfortunate! When I was unmarried I insisted on going by “Ms.” (I’m a teacher so going by my last name is very common) because “Miss” felt so juvenille. Now I’m Mrs. and proud of it but still appreciate the neutrality of Ms. as well. Some people on here truly DO have the wrong definition of the word and it’s interesting it’s evolved that way. I say unforunate because we’ve now taken a salutation that was the first maritally neutral word women had and made it about our marital status again. It was finally a neutral option…don’t ruin it

Post # 39
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Agreed. It is interesting.

Post # 40
Member
28 posts
Newbee

I’ve always been told that Ms. means you’re divorced.

I have officially been educated XD (on this matter anyway, lol)

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