(Closed) Ms or Mrs

posted 6 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

good question!

I hadn’t thought about it too much… I kinda like the expressing “me and the Mrs.” haha!

Since I look straight, I also kinda like that people will ask, oh so what does your husband do? or something like that, and then I can say “oh, my WIFE is a…”

Probably because I’m 34, I feel ready to be a Mrs.

but I don’t know! now you’ve got me thinking…

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My gay married friends have all stuck with Ms, but I think it’s a personal preference! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Thanks for giving me one more thing to think about! I’m already trying to figure out what I should be called during the wedding since neither bride nor groom seem appropriate.  What do I call my wedding people, right now I call them all bridegroom people, I can’t call them that forever! Now I have to worry about if I want to be Ms. or Mrs?!

Post # 6
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I stuck with Ms. throughout one straight marriage, and in my current same-sex marriage.  I’m old enough to remember the rules that Mrs. a) applies only if you have changed your name, and b) must always be followed by your husband’s first name, not your own, unless you are divorced.  Plus, the whole concept that you have to know a woman’s marital status in order to address her makes no sense to me–that’s not true for men, and seems silly and confusing.

We just assumed that each of us was a bride (which is why I’m the second bride).  As for your wedding people, how about just “Sarah’s attendants” and “Susan’s attendants” (or whatever the names are)?

Post # 7
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@2dBride:  I like the idea of calling them attendants on the program! My issue is that I don’t feel like a bride, I feel more like a groom I’m just not sure how comfortable I am with that title.

I’m thinking my Fiance and I will both remain Ms. after the wedding we very briefly talked about her changing her last name to mine, but I told her I was ok with her keeping her own last name.  

Post # 8
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We will both be Ms. I don’t think I would have liked calling myself “Mrs.” even if I had married a man.

Post # 9
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think we will be Mrs. and Mrs. Carnival–I’m hoping one day we’ll have our doctorates and be the Dr.’s Carnival 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@lybarra:  Well, you don’t have to declare yourself either “bride” or “groom,” if you don’t feel comfortable with it.  If what you have is “Sarah’s attendants” and “Susan’s attendants,” you never have to use either title at all.

Post # 11
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Pharmacy Museum

@2dBride:  

interesting, i didn’t know the rules. i am changing my last name to hers. i think i’ll use both and my wife has always been ms and will continue to be. i’m not breaking all the rules since i’m changing my name to hers but it would be weird to be mrs. her first and last name when my wife is ms. her first and last name. confusing.

Post # 13
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Kind of OT, but sort of OT–what do you think of creating a “new” last name. Not necssarily one that uses the letters of our last name (because it creates nothing attractive), but like a whole new name? This came up on a post a few weeks ago when someone posted about the Twihards changing their last names to Cullen and the straight bees, didn’t quite understand or get it. We travel internationally a lot and want the same last name and for our future children to not have a hyphenated name.

Post # 15
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We will both be Ms., although a small part of me inside wants to be Mrs.

@Mrs.Darling:  I like the idea of taking a new name together, but I would probably choose a name with personal significance, such as my grandmother’s maiden name.

Post # 16
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@LittleRiver:  I also want to be Mrs. hence the name change–we work in the same school and department as my Mom so it’d be confusing to the students to have three Mrs. Carnival’s.

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