(Closed) Much needed advice

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8455 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@deliz13:  *HUGS* First thing is, stop comparing your relationships to other people’s.  You will drive yourself crazy.  Other than that, it’s all about open communication.  I’ve never been a “waiting” bee, so I can’t really help you on that aspect.  I’m going to be 33 when I get married, at 22/23 I definitely didn’t want to be tied down.  Maybe this is how your SO feels?  It’s not that I didn’t like the person I was with, I just felt like I had so much more growing to do.

Post # 5
Member
8455 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@deliz13:  Hmm I guess I never thought of “not being tied down” like that.  For me, it has nothing to do with dating other people, it’s more of wanting to travel, explore different hobbies, spend time getting to know myself, etc.  With marriage, other expectations arise; starting a family, settling down in one area, buying a home, etc.  From what I’ve seen amongst friends, a delayed proposal usually has less to do with the person waiting for the proposal, and more to do with the person proposing.

EDIT: Oh and it’s okay to be an emotional baby sometimes, feeling vulnerable is human; it just means you have a heart.  *HUGS*

Post # 6
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You both have a TON of changes happening in the next year – law school, med school, living on your own, money issues, etc. This can cause a crisis in even the most sure person. I’d say leave things be for a while. You have no idea if you’ll even be in the same place for grad school.

Plus, law school and med school are horribly time intensive. You do not want the distraction of trying to plan a wedding. You both need to focus on school and setting the ground work for your futures.

So to wrap up – I know it sucks, but you’ve got to jsut let it be for a while. See how you weather all the changes coming up in the next few years.

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