Post # 1
Last weekend I had my bachelorette party at the beach with my bridesmaids. We were gone Friday and Saturday night. My fiancé was having his bachelor party at the same time in our hometown. He told me his plan was to have a bachelor party that Saturday followed by another bachelor party the next Saturday. His reasoning for having two parties was that 2 of his close friends wouldn’t be able to come to the first party. While I wasn’t thrilled about him partying on two separate weekends (including the last weekend before our wedding), I told him that was fine.
After I got back from the beach and asked him how his weekend was, he told me it was full of nonstop partying. Not only did he have a huge party on Saturday in someone’s home, but he went bar hopping all night on Friday as well. The two friends that originally said they couldn’t make it, ended up coming anyway. So then I asked him if he was still having another party this upcoming Saturday, and he said yes.
Him having what is essentially three parties makes me feel a little irritated. I feel like I had my weekend and he had his, and now we should be spending our last weekend before the wedding together. I told him how I felt, and his response was that I should go out with my friends while he goes out with his. The problem is that my friends are all in serious relationships so they probably don’t want to go out two weekends in a row, while his friends are mostly single and just want to party all the time. Plus, I just spent all weekend with my friends. Now I want to spend time with my fiancé. My fiancé doesn’t think it’s a big deal to go out again, but even his father (who is invited to the parties) made this comment: “It does feel to me that we should be celebrating with Jill (myself) before the wedding vs. just Dave (my fiance) last weekend and next.”
What do you ladies think of men having multiple bachelor parties? Do you feel that it is excessive given that they are two weekends in a row? Also, do you care if your fiance’s party is on the last weekend before your wedding? I’m curious to hear what you think.
Post # 3
I tend to agree with you. You both had your own parties, so why the encore? Its not like he wont be able to go hang with the guys after you get married (or you with the girls). I agree with your Future Father-In-Law — maybe you all should celebrate together—that seems logical. Why not plan to get several of both of your friends together for a cookout or something relaxing (since you’ll be gearing up for the big day that week). Or why not go out on a romantic date alone to acknowledge that you will be making a big transition in life the following week—a time to reflect on your relationship thus far and a time to just enjoy what has come together after what I’m assuming was a lot of stress/planning? Just ask him openly—if he feels like you are accusing him of something, it might push him to want to stick to his original plans. Good luck, and congrats on the upcoming wedding!
Post # 4
I think that we will each have a seperate party but I am pretty sure that we will end up going out with the whole group one more time before the wedding. However, he is a big boy who made it into his 40’s without my guidance, so if he feels he wants to go out with just the guys one more time, that is fine…as much as I very much enjoy spending time with him I know that I have the whole rest of my life with him.
Post # 5
@Bichon Frise: I think your fiance is milking it a bit–but it’s not such a terrrible horrible thing–he probably figures he is going to have plenty of weekends of wedded bliss but not many excuses to party. It seems to be important to him–I wouldn’t push it too hard–you don’t HAVE to party with your friends because he’s partying with his–you could give yourself a spa weekend and spend the time destressing before the wedding–massage, facial, mani/pedi, etc.
Post # 6
He does sound like he’s milking it a bit, but I’d probably just let this one go. Take the time to pamper yourself or just chill with friends. You’ll have your whole honeymoon to spend every single second together 😉
Post # 7
Seems like he wants to get all this party out of his system. Why can’t you all go with him if he wants to go out so bad. But idk, this annoys me. I’d be annoyed if my Fiance did this..
Post # 8
I wouldn’t make a big deal about it. He already made these plans for the second weekend so let him go. You will have plenty of time to spend with him. He is definatley milking it a bit but don’t we all? Would you say this to a bride who was having a second bridal shower? It may not be ideal but I don’t think it’s a big deal and he wants to do it so let him. And I agree with PPs to have a super awesome girly weekend at the spa and with junk food and a chick flick!
Post # 9
he is definitely milking it, but I’d just get myself all dressed up and prettied and go out with my girlfriends, if he can go have some fun, you should too. I wouldn’t fight over it though, it’s not a big deal.
Post # 10
Thanks for the responses! I decided to let it go, even though I still think it’s excessive. All the suggestions that said I should have some fun on my own are great. There are other things to do than party. A trip to the spa would be nice.