Post # 1
My friend and her partner have done this many times now and it’s getting offensive. They like to entertain.If it’s planned in advance, we will offer to bring a dish or we all buy ingredients and cook together. That works great!
But sometimes they invite us for dinner, with not enough notice to make it a group cooking effort. We try to politely decline but they seem overly keen for us to have their cooking so we agree to be nice. When we get there, we are served food that I would never serve a guest in my house if i could help it!
Things like, frozen ravioli from the grocery store heated up with store made sauce, and no vegetables or meat! Bbq of store-marinaded chicken wings that are about to expire. Fried rice with spam chunks and boiled mince with herbs.
I try to focus on the positives and always have at least a small dinner size portion, but when they casually tell us “oh we wanted to use this meat that was expiring / we had all these leftovers we were going to throw them away..” I start to wonder why they think we are garbage dumps for their old food. How can I avoid this in the future without offending them?
They aren’t poor or frugal by any means. They know nice food, they have cooked well in the past when a larger group comes around, and they eat at fancy restauranta from time to time – so it’s not that they are simple people either.
Post # 2
Maybe they just like your company and want to avoid food waste? I mean, if it’s just a casual dinner with friends I don’t really care what they serve me. A nice evening with friends, movies, fried rice and wings and a couple of bottles of wine sounds really good right now, to be honest. But if it doesn’t appeal to you, just decline. I promise no one will kidnap you at gunpoint to make you eat their food for free. Just say no repeatedly and they’ll get the hint.
Post # 3
If you don’t like their food then don’t go round. I think it is a bit much to expect a fancy meal when they are just cooking for friends mid week. We have local friends who will ring us and say ‘hey we have accidentally cooked a bunch of food, have you eaten and do you want to come have some?’ and never once have I thought they viewed us as garbage dumps.
Also ‘about to expire’ isn’t expired. Do you have like a 6 day minimum window you leave on the sell by date? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them serving wings because they have a bunch and they don’t have time to eat them before they go off. It isn’t like they are serving you old rotting food.
They aren’t poor or frugal by any means. They know nice food, they have cooked well in the past when a larger group comes around, and they eat at fancy restaurants from time to time – so it’s not that they are simple people either.
Just because they aren’t poor and have eaten at fancy restaurants before doesn’t mean this isn’t the kind of food they enjoy at home. Not everyone is spending an hour cooking with a whole bunch of ingredients mid week. They probably view you as the kind of friends they don’t have to “host” which I personally think is a compliment.
Post # 4
Tell them because they should know who they are inviting around for dinner.
Post # 6
Your complaint seems super petty & not friendly in the least. I am not sure what to say. This is definitely not a real problem.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
If you’re not a fan of what they’re serving then just decline the invitation.
Post # 8
Decline the invitation or tell them you got sick from the food last time and prefer not to have almost expired/expired food. Tell them your digestive system is sensitive. Or invite them over for food instead of always going there. Good luck.
Post # 9
lol I don’t agree with that at all. Free food can be garbage food.
Post # 10
I’m on the fence here.
If the food they serve doesn’t taste nice, I’d probably avoid getting invited in the future. I have a friend who is a lovely person but neither he nor his partner can cook properly. It’s almost always bland, barely salted (and they never put a salt shaker on the table) etc. Since they’re also pretty stressed out, I tend to invite them to my place or offer to bring food (which they often accept).
However, if the “problem” is that the food is about to expire and isn’t fancy but is tasty, I don’t really see what the issue is. I have in the past called up friends to tell them I either made far too much food or that I had something that needed eating and could they please help. Nobody was ever bothered by that. Sometimes I also just really want to hang out with somebody and invite them over for storebought pasta with storebought pesto. I mean, I wouldn’t throw a proper dinner party and serve that but if the main point of the evening is to spend time with each other, I see no problem.
Post # 11
This comes across as very stuck up. I’m really not trying to be snarky I’m being honest. If food is going to be thrown away why wouldn’t they cook that particular food? Complaining about store bought sauce..come on. If they gave the impression they were having a fancy dinner then served this thats different but doesn’t sound like they did.
Post # 12
Meh, I disagree and my reasoning is that they aren’t being transparent about it. It’s one thing to say “hey, we’re making up a batch of wings before it’s too late! Will you come help us eat them?” It’s quite another to ask your friends to dinner, not take no for an answer and then later say “yeah, these leftovers were about to go off…”
if it happened once, fine. But time and again these people are assuming OP is the best person to call up to get rid of old food. That’s weird and I’d probably just fully decline next time, or suggest going out instead. Call me a snob if you want, but while I’ll offer to share leftovers when the brothers in law are visiting, I make that clear and I don’t invite them over just to finish off my chicken carcass before it’s too late.
ETA: wouldn’t care about the sauce, personally, unless it was just not good, like the store bought I tried the other day…
Post # 13
serving spam to guests I agree is pretty absurd .. that would have me scratching my head and probably having a “lol what the fuck?” Conversation with the fiance on our way home…
But having a bunch of meat they need to get through before it goes bad or gets freezer burnt and throwing a BBQ with friends to go through it all is just sensible and would not brother me at all or make me feel like a “garbage dump”. I think that is actually a pretty normal thing to do.
But if the only time they ever invite you over for dinner is when they’re trying to get rid of excess food yeah I can see why it’s ststtist to bother you. It just feels kind of weird at that point…
Post # 14
“About to expire” is not expired. It’s fine.
If you don’t enjoy having dinner with them just don’t go. You have a choice.
Post # 15
There is nothing wrong with food that is “almost expired.” In fact, most foods are perfectly fine well past their expiration dates. The expiration dates aren’t based in science and they aren’t regulated by any government agency or inspection. They’re voluntarily added by the manufacturer, sometimes for no reason other than making you throw away that little tub of yoghurt and buy a new one. Stop acting like those people are trying to poison you and be grateful that someone else is cooking you a meal, or stay home and cook your own dinner.