Post # 1
So….my honey’s family is from a completely different….culture??? than mine is? I dont know if this is socioeconomic or what, but I have a complicated invite situation.
House 1: Honey’s Grandma (75?) + Uncle (50?)
House 2: Honey’s Aunt (50?) Uncle (50?) Dad (50?) Brother (25) Cousin (30) Cousin (31) Cousin’s Wife (30) Cousins kid (5)
House 3: Honey’s Mom (50?) Bro (29) w/GF- lives seperate
I know by old school ettiquette standards they should each get an invitation, but
1) the invites are EXPENSIVE!
2) I dont think any of them, including dad, are going to come. Maybe this is a reason to send indv. invites since it will be their only momento from the wedding? if it matters they wont come bc its in another state and none of them can be bothered to work (cause the MAN is oppressing them)
3) If house 2 has no problem fitting 7 adults and a kid in a 3 bedroom 1500sq ft house, are they really going to know and/or care about invite protocol???
I should mention our invites are already super informal…..we’re sending Save-The-Date Cards (which I am addressing per household, not individually) and we have a pretty elaborate website which includes all the invite info. The actual paper invite exists for the rsvp….
Post # 3
I believe etiquette would dictate that anyone over the age of 16 in a household would get their own invite (or one per couple/couple & small children)
However, I don’t think it really matters that much, especially if you’re on a budget and because they are untraditional living situations. Just send an invite to each household 🙂
Post # 4
Etiquette does dictate that each adult should get their own, but if you don’t think they’ll care, just send one. I did those for some of my “failure to launch” male cousins that still live at home 😛 I doubt they were going to treasure it forever or anything like that. Heck, one of them that does technically live in a separate residence, but supported by his parents didn’t bother to RSVP on his invite, and his mommy just added him onto hers.
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves
@colleen_cz: Can I ask which culture?
I’m mexican and here is perfectly fine, even expected to get an invite per household. I have a similar situation, two of my cousins, along with wifes and babies live with their parents, so there’s actually 3 families in one household, however we’re sending it to the family, so that includes everyone in the household. I don’t know about etiquette but here’s considered perfectly fine.
Post # 6
@SapphireSun LOL re MOMMY 🙂
@mstoadstool 1/2 of the fam is Mexican. I dont think its an unusual thing to live together like that…..I guess I’m wondering if I should be applying MY cultural ettiquite (ie indv.) or THEIR cultural ettiquitte (ie. household)
To be honest, every single wedding on that side of the family? We’ve been invited by telephone to a giagantic backyard fiesta following a courthouse wedding without witnesses. I’m flying blind here and dont want to step on anyones toes!!
Post # 7
I would prob send them by family units. My FI’s aunt, uncle and cousin live with the cousins grandma (aunts mother) so were sending an invite to the grandma and then an invite to aunt, uncle and cousin even though it’s the same house. However that living situation sounds complicated and if they won’t really care or value the invite, just send one per household.
Post # 8
If the kids are still at home they are considered family so one invite but if the kids are older like college age or would bring a date then they get thier own invite. If they are older like grandma and uncle invite each. That is the way our family does it. Because then you get the ones that say “well i didn’t get invited” thier way of saying they didn’t want to go anyway.
BUT when we had my parents anniversary party we sent out invites to the family>my dad has 14 brothers and sisters and my mom has 7 so there were quite a few cousins we just added on the invites that the extended family was invited for cocktails after 7 and to please let thier families know. Which for a wedding I don’t think I would do. We just had dinner for thier parents and brothers and sisters and thier aunts and uncles.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
We sent an invite to everyone, regardless of household.
If you want to save invites, I would do inner envelopes so you can write who is invited a bit more clearly.
Post # 10
Man, I hear you about how expensive invites are! I would just send one per household. I think we need to break free from the constraints of ‘etiquette’ and start doing things that are more environmentally and financially friendly!
Post # 11
My Fi’s sister/husband/child live with his parents. We sent one invite for the parents as a couple and one invite for sister/husband/kid as a family. Like one invite to Jane and John Doe, and another to The Smith Family.
I wouldn’t dwell too much on the price of the invites because in the grand scheme of things, 5 more invites and 5 more stamps aren’t going to be what blows the budget. It’s a drop in the bucket.