Post # 1
I have several adult cousins in their mid to late 20s and early 30s who live with their parents. Some have significant others, some don’t. While we’re getting a pretty good price on our invitations (~$4/set for letterpress), it seems almost silly to send 3 sets of invitations to 1 address, and internationally!
Should I just grin and bear it and send separate invitations for the parents and adult ‘children’, or would it be ok to just send 1 invite per family? And if I went with the latter, how should the envelope be addressed?
Thanks in advance for your input!
Post # 3
It’s family, so I’d say it’s fine to send just one invitation instead of multiple. That’s what I did. They’re not expecting that much formality!
I addressed the envelope to John, Jane & Jimmy Smith. If the adult child has an SO that you want to invite, too, then address it with two lines:
John & Jane Smith
Jimmy Smith & Janny Date
425 Lovers Lane
Huntington Beach, CA 92649
Post # 4
Formal etiquette would say that "adult children" (oxymoron) living with their parents get their own invitation. Actually, I’m not inclined to think you deserve a separate invitation just for being way too old to still be living at home. We only have a couple of those cases in my family, but I sent one invitation per household. I did send separate invitations for several friends’ daughters who are in college and will be taking summer classes – because technically they won’t be living at home when the invitation arrives, and I think it’s always fun to get mail at school. So basically that was my (terribly incorrect) stand – have your own apartment, get your own invitation.
Post # 5
I think it depends on how formal your family is. If they’re really formal they’ll expect separate invitations. Otherwise I don’t think they’ll mind if it’s addressed like SoCalBeachGirl has it. Maybe ask the parents to see what they think.
Post # 6
So for us with those "less formal" families with 40-year-old kids still living at home, can we say "The Smith Family" on the outer envelope and "Jane, John, Peter, and Mary Smith" on the inner envelope?
Post # 7
Rebecca, yes, that’s perfectly appropriate. Holy cow, 40 and still living at home? I hope it’s because they are caring for their parents!
Post # 8
Adult children living at home should get their own invite. After a cross-country move back to my home state, I lived at home for a few months while looking for a job and an apartment. I had been living and working in another state for about 6 years. It irked me to no end that I got tagged on to my parents’ invite when just weeks before I would have had my own. True etiquette says that anyone over 16 should get their own. While I think that’s a little overboard, I definitely think that anyone out of college should get their own no matter where they live – and anyone (college aged or otherwise) living on their own should also get their own invite. In the grand scheme of your budget, I doubt that the $20-30 you will save by doubling up on those few invites will break the bank.
Post # 9
I have a similar situation to this as well. I have two cousins that still live at home (35/32) and have children that live with them as well. In all there are 8 people living at the same address. Do I send 2 (aunt/uncle/cousin and cousin/3 kids) or 3 (aunt/uncle and cousin and cousin/3 kids)?
Post # 10
I have a few cousins who still live with their parents. We did send them a seperate invitation. We did this because they are adults (I know I would be kind of insulted if it was me) and they were invited plus a guest.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2008 - Oceanfront lawn and tent
Here’s what we’re doing for young adults still living at home- going by no etiquette rule whatsoever! For college-aged cousins, we’re sending them their own IF I think they would even notice. So my 20-year old cousin who is obsessed with weddings will be getting her own invite. However, Mr. Tiramisu’s 19 and 22 year-old relatives (both boys) who won’t even notice will be included on their parents invite. How’s that for breaking the rules? 🙂
Post # 12
Funny how this issue polarizes the crowd. Also given the astonishing numbers of college graduates still living with their parents, and the cost of wedding invitations I think you really have to make your own decision. In our case, sending an extra invitation to every adult still living with their parents would cost us (including postage) an extra $180. That will buy my shoes and bustier. Please try not to make judgements about the spending priorities of those of us who are paying a mortgage and utility bill every month as well as financing a wedding.
Post # 13
I sent separate invitations to over 18’s that still live with their parents because then they’d each receive a separate RSVP card. In many of these situations, the parents will attend but the "children" won’t, due to being away at college or not knowing us as well.
That was just to save me headaches figuring them out the RSVP’s later, but I did el-cheapo DIY invites, so a few extra stamps is all it cost me.
Post # 14
it’s not just about the additional cost of another invite – think about the additional paper wasted and the carbon footprint of mailing additional invitations overseas! i’m all for shipping one invite to one address if it helps the world stay just a little bit greener. as another alternative, could you mail multiple invitations in one envelope? so that the outer envelope could say: mr. and mrs. smith and family or the Smith family, and the inner envelopes containing the invitations could be addressed to each set of guests as appropriate.
Post # 15
i would say send separate invites. even if you address it to the____family, SOs of the family wonder if they’re invited. so i said seperate invites for people who invited.
however, if you really want to save money and if you’re doing inner envelopes, that’s where you would list every person who is invited.
Post # 16
Honestly, unless I had some really complicated RSVP issues (like the previous poster with 8 ppl under 1 roof) I would never even consider sending more than 1 invite to a household. In my opinion, there are much better things to spend wedding money on. I lived with my parents for a while after college and I was never offended to receive correspondence addressed to the "family." Should adult children get their own holiday cards too?
You know your cousins best, audie. Good luck!