Post # 1
It’s starting to look as if I will be having three, or quite possibly four, showers. I am very grateful for each one, but want to make sure I’m on the right etiquette track here.
My FI’s aunt has offered to have one for the women on her side. This will be aunts, grandmothers, cousins, etc. FI’s stepmom will be there, but not his mom (for obvious reasons), but what about my mom?
The girls I work with have offered to have one for me. This will just be us, so no issues there.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is also planning one. This will be friends, women on my dad’s side and on FI’s mom’s side, both of which are very small. Is it okay to mix these two? I’m thinking my mom, FI’s mom, and his stepmom should all be there. Does that sound right? Will FI’s dad’s side be offended if they’re not invited to this one too?
One is tentatively scheduled in the state where I grew up. This will include my mom’s side and my mom, but not FI’s mom or stepmom since it’s 500 miles away.
I’m also planning to invite FI’s sister and sis-in-law to both the family and mixed showers, but I’m going to make it very clear that multiple gifts are NOT expected.
Post # 3
I think multiple showers are fairly normal. For me, my family and FI’s family live several hours away and it’s just not feasible to have everyone go to one shower. My MoH is throwing a more general shower for my family, FI’s mother’s family and all the friends and then my FI’s aunts are throwing a separate shower just for their side of the family. I’m inviting all mothers, bridesmaids and sisters to both.
Post # 4
For us, we did two showers based on geography, not family ties. FI’s family had one in their hometown (where we currently live) and my family had one in my hometown. It was great having both, because it meant everyone got to attend, but I think it would be a little iffier if the separate showers were in the same city and with different guests because of awkwardness. But do what you have to do. However, if everyone’s local, I’d combine as much as possible so people can meet before the wedding and become friendly ahead of time.
Post # 5
We are 2 showers, too, based on geography. Fiance and I live in California and nobody else does, so nothing much is happening out here. Wedding is in Boston, FI’s family lives in New Jersey, and my family lives in Maryland. Our plan is to invite everyone from the NJ/NY/PA area and new england to a shower at FMIL’s house in NJ on one day. And then have another shower in Maryland at my aunt’s house for everyone in Maryland and south of there on the following day.
It’ll be a whirlwind weekend for me, but it’ll be fun. Only our moms and my Maid/Matron of Honor are going to both showers I believe. Since it’s such a destination thing for me I had to specify I don’t want any gifts at all, let alone multiple gifts. I wouldn’t be able to take them home with me. So we’re asking people to simply ship any gifts they’d like to give to my home in California, and bring a pretty wrapped box with a picture of the item to the shower so we can still pretend to open things. We’ll see how that goes haha.
Post # 6
I had 3 showers and a bachelorette party, some people were at 2 or 3 of these 4 events! I made it clear that they didn’t need to feel obligated to come to more than one or bring a gift. It worked out well that one was for family, one for friends, one for work. I think everyone kind of knows where they fit in. I also think people might not want to be invited to a shower where they don’t “fit in” or know anyone else. It’ll all work out! Have fun!