- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Will try to put this in the quickest way possible but will probably fail!
My mum and I are really good friends. We get on really well but we do clash occasionally, I think especially recently as she is menopausal and flies off the handle a lot. But generally she is a lovely person, would do anything for anyone, she just had a bit of a cold, mean streak.
My gorgeous man and I got engaged on Christmas eve and both our families are really happy and my parents really like him a lot.
Our wedding guest list seems massive – ridiculous really, in our families alone it comes to 90 people. With a very select number of friends (and +1s) it’d be around 110 for the daytime and if we were to invite more for the evening we are looking at a tight 150. Obviously this will be very expensive, my parents are being very generous and probably going to pay £5k to the wedding and we will be paying the rest ourselves.
My mum is interfering a lot, I want her help but she is being ridiculously snobby about any suggestions I have – I would love a church ceremony with a village hall reception. Mum wants super expensive country manor houses and all that will add up to an unaffordable wedding that we wouldn’t enjoy.
My gorgeous man was brought up Catholic and so was I, my mum is protestant (dad non-practising Catholic) though but it is my mum who sent me to Catholic school. When I said that we are looking into a Catholic ceremony she immediately started saying it’ll be boring and she doesn’t want it to be a mass. I told her that you can choose between the nuptial mass or a wedding ceremony and that we would choose the ceremony and not the mass but she got stuck on this mass thing and started being really nasty and saying she would walk out for that part of the wedding and it is excluding all of her family (my uncles, aunts etc)!!!! I said to her AGAIN – we won’t be choosing the nuptial mass but gently reminded her that it is completely my and my future husband’s choice what type of ceremony we want as everything else I was doing to please her! She actually is really upsetting me and remembering this is getting me annoyed. She said she was looking for an off switch on the phone because she didn’t want to talk to me anymore!
Now I feel like just going abroad and getting married in a small wedding in Italy or somewhere. But my mum has made it very clear she does not want me to get married abroad because my older brother is getting married abroad and hardly any family are going which she is really upset about – I understand this which is why we are getting married in the UK even though my partner’s ideal wedding would be abroad.
My mum also doesn’t see why I should invite any friends to keep the numbers down to just family – obviously I would love my closest friends at our wedding, I am only going to invite 5 and their partners – not many in proportion to the number of family of whom some I really don’t feel comfortable around at all.
She is just generally being difficult about pretty much everything. The only thing I can put it down to is the fact that when she and my dad got married, her dad died 2 weeks before their wedding and then the hall for the reception burnt down so they had to have it somewhere else which she said was horrible and she often says over the years that she hated her wedding day (in front of my dad which I think is really upsetting). Please give me advice how to handle my mum when she is being like this and can anyone explain to me why they think she is being so awkward and b!tchy?
Not really enjoying my wedding planning right now…