(Closed) Mum tried to ruin my wedding day

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2797 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

You are absolutely completely in the right in not letting them back into your life.  Your mother has behaved unforgivably – she SLAPPED your wife? – and fully deserves to be cut off.  Good on you for backing your wife up and not giving in – gold star. Honestly, your mother sounds like a total narcissist and that cannot be changed.  Live your life, next time your mother turns up on your doorstep give her one warning then call the cops if she won’t leave.  “Faaaaaaaaaamily” is not an excuse to put up with abusive behaviours – your parents aren’t behaving in any way like supportive parents so you’re better off without them in your life.

Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

You are NOT overreacting by cutting your mother out of your life (and your wife’s life). You are looking after your own mental and emotional health, as well as that of your wife. Kudos to you!

Your mother sounds like a narcissist, to put it kindly. She isn’t going to change, and IF she does (big IF seeing that she is a grown woman who has your father to enable her) – which she can only show by long-term actions, acknowledgments of wrong and likely lots of therapy, then by all means let her back in, and even then just in doses.

The whole “you only have one set of parents thing / since they are your parents you can’t exclude them from your life” is b.s. If your parents are toxic, cut them out. If they affect your wife (and future children!), cut them out. You and your wife’s well being comes first. How does having them in your life, based on your post, benefit you in any way? It sounds like you are better off without them.

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