(Closed) Mum wants to invite distant relatives.. what should I say or do??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My parents tried this too. I told them that if they want me to invite extended family, then they can pay the exact cost per person. Otherwise, Hell was freezing over before I paid another 200/head for people I didn’t care about.

Post # 4
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@momolove:  Its a week until the wedding. I think you have a couple options:

  • Tell her that it would be clear to anyone who receives an invitation now that they are on the Blist and would be insulted as a last minute addition.
  • Tell her that it is too late to add anyone because the caterer needed final numbers already
  • Tell her the venue is too small and you can’t afford to lose the deposit. Or that the venue is too small and you can’t afford to rent a larger one
  • Tell her you won’t have enough favors, programs, ect. for everyone
  • Invite them and assume they won’t come because the notice is too short (best for out of town relatives who would need to fly/drive and rent a hotel room)

I would pick your favorite and have a second answer lined up if she comes up with an excuse (like offering to pay for them/the lost deposit).

Or just say, “Mom, I’m sorry but this is my wedding. I have invited everyone I want to the wedding already. If you would like to throw a post wedding reception a few weeks after the wedding for your family you are more than welcome to.”

Post # 5
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@momolove:  your wedding is a week away.  do you really think those distant relatives are going to feel “wanted” at your wedding?  tell your mother to drop it.  this will insult them more than not inviting them.

Post # 6
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Are you still having a wedding overseas?If so,doesn’t seem like people would have time to make arrangements.I would tell her it is too late to invite them.

Post # 7
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I would just put your foot down and say no to your mother.  Let her know that she should drop it and that you don’t need the added stress of inviting additional guests you don’t even know to a wedding that is just a week away.  Who does that anyway?  It just seems ludicrous to me that your mom would add this amount of stress to her daughter when you are supposed to be making final preparations and relaxing before the wedding.  I’m sorry you are having to go through this…just breathe and have a glass of wine (or preferred libation).  🙂

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