Post # 1
Fiance and I are taking our pictures before the ceremony and therefore are having a “First Look”. My Mum told me the other day that she, dad and Future Mother-In-Law should be present to see it. I told her, no that I wanted this to be just Fiance and I so we can have a few minutes alone together, I can get my grip and just relax together for a bit. She replied that if we weren’t doing the first look that EVERYONE would see it anyway, she really wants to see our reactions and she’s sure Future Mother-In-Law would too (I know Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t really care that much and just wants us to do whatever WE want!) and she’ll just hide somewhere. I haven’t talked to Fiance yet, but I’m pretty sure this is something Mum will make a big deal about if its not done her way. I understand where she’s coming from, but she doesn’t understand me at all. I’m thinking I’ll just have to suck it up.
What would you do? Opinions, etc?
Post # 3
This is YOUR first look!!! It’s a special moment shared just by you and Fiance. If my mom and Future Mother-In-Law were there, it wouldn’t be special. We wouldn’t feel comfortable kissing/crying/hugging in front of each other.
Post # 4
That’s a tough one, b/c even if they’re hidden, you’ll still know they’re watching… she should have kept quiet and snuck over day of! You could stand your ground and show her the pics later…
Post # 5
DH and I had our first look in a foyer where I came down a stairwell. We didn’t know it at the time but most of our bridal party was watching us from above. It didn’t spoil the moment at all for us, but they were really quiet. Perhaps, not knowing they were there was better for us though.
Post # 6
I agree with PinkMagnolia
on this one, I would say no and stand my ground.
While I understand her want to be involved it is such an intimate moment for you and your husband that really isn’t for everyone else to see. If she absolutely insists than I guess she can lurk in the bushes and you really can’t stop her, however her presence really shouldn’t be known.
Post # 7
Our wedding party and families were present for ours, and it didn’t make a difference to me. But, if you don’t want it, then tell her sorry, not happening. Trust me, you will still have that look when he sees you walking down the aisle, so she won’t miss anything!!! Oh, and don’t tell her where you are doing the first look, dont’ tell anyone unless you want her showing up
Post # 8
Hell to the no! Ask someone else (maybe your Future Mother-In-Law and FFIL?) to keep them occupied during your first look, and show them the pics later.
Honestly, you’d think married people would know better, having been through it all themselves, but the second it’s someone else’s wedding they completely forget what it’s like and become “those people”.
Post # 9
We did our first look with the bridal party/family hanging around. It did not stop us from crying/kissing/hugging. It was sort of like the ceremony in that I was in my own little happy bubble. It only happened this way because I never came up with a game plan. Seing everyones reactions in the background of the pics was actually kind of adorable.
If you want it to be just the two of you (and the photog) put your foot down, I just wanted to share that there being onlookers doesn’t necessarily ruin it.
Post # 10
NO NO NO!!! That’s rude to even ask hun. Stand your ground!
Post # 11
The VERY first moment we saw each other was just between the two of us. My best friend was around the corner, but nobody came upstairs until it was time to do the bridal party portraits. Honestly, we’re not the kind of mushy-gushy people who needed that time to snuggle, but it was nice to have an uninterrupted conversation. That was one of the two times all day (our first dance being the other).
Maybe ask her if you can have just the two of you for the first few pictures, then she can come in?
Post # 12
She will get to see the pictures later, your photographer will certainly capture all that magic when you two first see each other. Isn’t that enough?
Can I ask your motivation for a first look?
Post # 13
If you want it to be super private tell your mom and your fmil you want it to be just the two of you and thats it… They can see the pictures afterward
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I think this has to do with your relationship with your mother (and potentially with your dad and fmil as well). You are not alone at your first look – you are surrounded by strangers snapping pictures. My mom happened to be there when we had our first look, along with the photogs and videographer who I met that morning, and believe me, the moment I saw Mr. HC approaching, everyone else disappeared. If you don’t want your mother there, I think that is totally totally up to you, and should be your decision, but if you generally have a good relationship, and you don’t think they will be intrusive (like, jumping in to be the third on your first hug), I don’t know that it is such a big deal. BUT I do want to say again that it is YOUR decision, and you should be comfortable with whatever the outcome ends up being.
Post # 15
I would have your best man and Maid/Matron of Honor run interference. Have them both waiting in the place you will have your first look with your mom. Then just meet somewhere else, and take your photos. (Wouldn’t go over well but if you really think she will ruin your moment, then simply don’t let her.)
Post # 16
If you don’t want everyone there, then tell her she will have to wait away from where you are taking pictures. For my Bridals, I did have a small party but they stayed far enought away so my picture session would not be disturbed. I was already a bundle of nerves and we were running an hour behind.
We had our 1st look @ a local beach so there were a ton of ppl around but my photographer made sure we were off the beaten path for my bridals as well as our First Look. My photographer had me look @ the ocean and DH tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around, it was just the 2 of us. I forgot about everthing and everyone. It was magical and then back to reality.LOL