Post # 1
So for what seems the longest time I have had a ridiculous fear that I am infertile. I know I can’t possibly know until I try, so before we started ttc I charted and temped for 2 cycles with OPKs which confirmed I ovulated on CD15 (both times) – we TTC last month and BDed every day running up to CD15 and after too. Cue a BFN. I’m just scared that I have some sort of sixth sense and the fact that I keep feeling that I won’t ever be pregnant is some sort of intuition? I can’t imagine ever being pregnant or even getting a BFP. I have spent so long trying to convince myself that I am fine, there’s nothing wrong with me and of course NOT everyone gets their BFP on their first cycle TTC. But I can’t get rid of this niggle that I have some womanly intuition that I won’t ever be a mommy. So, I wondered if anyone else ever felt like this and went on to get their BFP and healthy baby? I am really just looking for reassurance, I guess. Thanks bees!
Post # 3
@Lillyrose: I got all teary after my second month. I knew it was only 2 months, but I was scared it would never happen. BFP on the 3rd month.
I realise some people have way more difficulty than that. I’m just trying to reassure you that 1 or 2 months is nothing to worry about.
Post # 4
I always felt this way. I just felt like I had this gut feeling that getting pregnant would be hard for me and I’d have some crazy issue that was hard to deal with. Then I got pregnant the one time we screwed up BC before we were even trying officially. So um– NOT the case! Intuition about this sort of thing definitely doesn’t make it true. And two months is no time at all. I’m sure you are a-ok! Good luck!
Post # 5
I had some fears that I was infertile or not ovulating regularly because my cycles ranged from 27-45+ days. I couldn’t imagine ever actually being pregnant, even though I wanted to be. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would have gotten pregnant already by now by accident if I was pregnant. We have only ever used condoms as protection for 7 years, & they do have a 3% fail rate!
Fortunately when we did start TTC, I’ve gotten pregnant every month we’ve tried (miscarried 1 then got pregnant again), so it’s pretty clear I’m not infertile by any means.
I think its a legitimate feelingto have but it’s WAY too early to worry about that now. I think your BFP is coming soon. It can take many months for 2 healthy people to conceive. Don’t get discouraged!!
Post # 6
I think this is a VERY normal way to feel. Darling Husband and I both felt like we’d have trouble TTC. My mom had issues, I was on bc for 8 years straight, and Darling Husband has been an avid mountain biker (competitively) his whole life, so he thought he probably “damaged” himself along the way.
…The we got pregnant when we were NTNP.
Your feeling are 100% normal and pretty common. I hope you get your BFP soon!
Post # 7
@Lillyrose: yes I was convinced I was infertile for no reason and got pregnant the one time Darling Husband didn’t pull out. I’m sure you will be fine!!! Good luck and don’t get down on TTC yet. you’ll get your BFP!!
Post # 8
I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to worry just yet. We got our BFP after three months (which I feel SO lucky for), but I definitely cried a bit after the first couple of BFN. And though we’re still really early (not even 5 weeks yet) and anything can happen, at least we know we *can* make the beginnings of a person. I wonder if this was as much of a fear for women before the internet. For me, even though I had no real reason to believe I was infertile, reading the stories of all of the people who want so badly to have children and who go through all kinds of physical, emotional, and financial issues trying to have them…well, I’m a pessimist anyway, so reading all of that started to make me feel like I would have issues too.
Post # 9
I was the opposite. A psychic told me I would have no problems conceiving (stupid me listened!), so when the first time didn’t work I was beside myself with terror. It took 4 cycles over 6 months, each BFN was harder than the last. I completely understand where you are at, just try to keep telling yourself that it takes the average couple 6 months of actively trying, luck, and the perfect egg/sperm combo (trickier than HS health class led us to believe). You will get there!
Post # 10
I had a feeling I would have trouble conceiving, maybe because of all the stories on weddingbee. I ended up getting pregnant the first time Darling Husband didn’t pull out. I think it’s common to fear infertility, don’t get discouraged!
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I thought we’d have trouble conceiving… three months of not trying, and I’m now 27 weeks pregnant. My husband makes of me because I was so certain… and oh so very wrong.
Post # 12
Most definately thought I was, due to I had quite a few things happen to me when was younger and made it very unlikely I would get pregnant. Well it happened and I have an almost 2 year old. So miracles can happen
Post # 13
@Lillyrose: I had the same fear for years. I never really had any pregnancy scares and I was off birth control for 3 year using the pull out and pray method before we started TTC. I had, I’m sure, 8-10 friends/family members get accidently pregnant using the same method or on the pill during those years so when it came time to TTC I had a horrible feeling it wouldn’t happen for us. It took us 6 cycles but I am now 11 weeks pregnant!
Post # 14
@Lillyrose: I am not truly in the clear yet as I am not 12 weeks, but I felt like I would always have problems conceiving because my periods were heavy and painful before the pill and my mom had endo. When I got pregnant right away, I was actually quite shocked because I thought I’d have problems keeping the baby. So far so good, but as scared as I was about endo, endo is not hereditary according to my doctors, so I didn’t have a reason to worry about that. The doctors have been great about my fear of the baby sticking and did an u/s for me last week.
I am still actually scared because even though my mom had endo, and I don’t, she lost her babies at just shy of 12 weeks, so I am freaking a bit. I will feel more at ease beginning of October when I can hear and see a heartbeat again.
Post # 15
i was worried. i had no reason to think of it, it was more “sod’s law is that after spending a lifetime trying to prevent pregnancy, now we want one we wont be able to have one”
also my husband was so broody i was worried abotu disappointing him as i knew hed be heartbroken if we couldnt conceive. I found it hard to imagine getting pregnant and thought that if we did, itd be after a year plus!
BUT we stopped birth control on our wedding night, march 9th, got our BFP june 9th and i am now 16 weeks!
thing is, once you get your BFP it doesnt get any easier =S. then the stress about blighted ovums, missed miscarriages, and the first tri kick in. So try not to stress now or its going to be a long journey!
Post # 16
My parents had some difficulty TTC so I always secretly feared I’d be infertile. I ended up getting pregnant on the pill!
I have no experience with this, but from everything I’ve seen and heard, the first BFN is always the hardest. Growing up it gets beaten into your head that “OMG all it takes is once!!111!!” and one false move with your BC will get you pregnant no matter where you are in your cycle. So when you actually try and it doesn’t happen right away, it’s easy to convince yourself that there must be something wrong.
More than likely, it won’t be too much longer before you get your BFP.