(Closed) Mums and mums-to-be – did any of you ever feel like this?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Lillyrose:  I went through the same thing. I was so sure I’d never have children. Since I was about 16 I was just terrified I’d never get that chance. But when we started not trying not preventing it only took 6 months. That was after I had stopped worring about it because we were buying a house and Ifelt like it wasn’t the time and bam bfp. I guess what I’m saying is try not to stress =]

Post # 18
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My mom has endometriosis and had trouble conceiving me, so I was convinced we would have trouble once we were TTC. I got pregnant the 3rd month off the pill.

Also, try not to rely on your intuition – it sounds like its more of a fear. I had an “intuition” when I was pregnant that my son would have Down syndrome (he doesn’t, and I realized pregnancy hormones turn me into a paranoid freak).

Post # 19
Member
1531 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Lillyrose:  I have the same feeling as you.  I’m also in general a negative person – i expect the worst to avoid getting dissappointed. My Darling Husband tells me its too early to think I will never get pregnant (3rd cycle) – and its just my negative mind set.

Post # 20
Member
3008 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Lillyrose:  I’ve seen some of your earlier posts about this, so I know you’ve been worrying for awhile! 

 

 

 

Ok, #1 you are probably not infertile:

  • 30 percent get pregnant the first cycle (about one month)

  • 59 percent get pregnant within three cycles (about three months)

  • 80 percent get pregnant within six cycles (about six months)

  • 85 percent get pregnant within 12 cycles (about one year)

It is easy to call worries or anxiety “intuition” to make it seem more legit, but calling it intuition doesn’t make it true. It sounds like you have regular periods and that you confirmed your ovulation by charting and OPK. Sounds very promising, nothing to worry about there.

 

 

 

 

Ok, #2- maybe you are right and you will have trouble conceiving. If so, stressing out about it won’t change that. It make take you over six months or close to a year. That doesn’t mean that you are infertile- it just means you aren’t one of that lucky 30 percent that got it the first cycle. Now say you actually are ‘infertile.’ There are many options available, and many couples that wouldn’t be able to have kids even 20 years ago are now able to have multiple babies. There is Clomid, IUI, and IVF, etc. So even if you are ‘infertile,’ that certainly doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get pregnant and have a baby, or babies!   

 

It sounds like you a “worrier.” That’s ok, I can be a little bit of a worrier sometimes, too; we all can be. I think you should spend some of your energy learning how to deal with anxiety and the unknown better. Being able to live in the present and not stress out about things is a more enjoyable way to go through life, I think. I betting other Bees have some good advice here. I’d try yoga, exercising outside in pleasant surroundings, meditating/mindfulness, massage therapy…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, best of luck to you on TTC, I’m betting it will happen for you soon! I’m on my third cycle and I know how you feel. I keep reminding myself that a close friend of mine (who I totally look up to, she is such a cool person and a total badass, super healthy, incredible athlete, smart, fearless, adventurous) took six months to conceive her baby. She said she couldn’t believe it when her period arrived each month. It makes me feel better to know that everyone that doesn’t conceive on their first cycle goes through this- you’re not alone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 22
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Lillyrose:  There was actually JUST a publication about a steep rise in college pregnancy rates, because “1 in 5 young women report feeling convinced they are infertile or will have trouble conceiving”

That being said, greater than 97% of couples with no medical problems will successfully conceive in the first year (greater than 85% of all couples)

Post # 23
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@Lillyrose:  I had valid concerns about infertility. I have lost one of my fallopian tubes from an ectopic pregnancy, had one very early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy and other than that, tried for years to no avail. I had a very strong feeling I wouldn’t get pregnant naturally, that I’d end up adopting in my late 30’s after years of desperation and sadness… I thought the worst. Then, I stopped worrying about it so much and changed my eating habits and exercise habits and was BLOWN AWAY by a surprise bfp without even trying, or charting, or temping, or anything!! And I am now 11 weeks pregnant with a so far, completely healthy baby.

 

#1 I HATED hearing this when I was not pregnant yet, but RELAX. Being stressed about your fertility all the time only increases the likelihood that you won’t ovulate on time, or that your periods will be wonky.

#2 trying for 2 cycles is NOTHING, not even to the medical community. The average time it takes healthy normal couples to conceive is 6 months. Doctors won’t even see you for it until 1 year of trying, or 6 months if you are over 30.

#3 in all likelihood, you have nothing to worry about, and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant and happy as a clam (or sick as a dog, lol)

 

I could never imagine being pregnant either, and now I AM pregnant and it’s still  crazy to me!! I wish you the best of luck and a BFP soon!

Post # 24
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY

@Lillyrose:  I was convinced I would have a hard time conceiving because Darling Husband and I have been pulling and praying for years with no accidents. Then I got KU our first actively trying. Sorry to say I lost that one at 4 weeks, but got right back on the horse and got KU our second cycle trying. Now I’m just about 6 weeks… fingers crossed.

Sometimes I think we psych ourselves out when something really good is going to happen to us. Think of all the other great things that have happened to you that you probably worried never would! Keep at it, you’ll get there.

 

Post # 25
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

100%.

We struggled a little with TTC (certainly nothing like some bee’s have gone through) but we did need a little help. I honestly could not for the life of me picture getting a BFP. I couldn’t picture those 2 pink lines on a test, my reaction, how I would tell my husband, none of that. I couldn’t picture a baby bump, going for appointments or planning a nursery – it just didn’t seem like it was ever a possibility even though we had doctors telling us we would get pregnant with a little help!

Looking back, i think it’s just a bit of a built in defence mechanism, just to protect us from things that scare us the most. We are 30 weeks pregnant and due in November so trust me – what you are feeling is so normal, and one day you’ll look back and smile remembering how you felt!

Post # 26
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

I wasn’t afraid that I would be infertile but I did worry about my husband.  He’d had testicular cancer and had gone through radiation and surgery to remove a testicle.  I was sure we either wouldn’t be able to conceive or it would take forever.  Fast forward and I’m sitting here at 8+ months pregnant.  Go into it with an open mind and try not to worry!

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