(Closed) Murdering your sister is wrong right?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

Sisters can be really, really…interesting? I have two myself. Your sister must be really stressing out! I can understand it, in a way. When my little sister was dating her last serious boyfriend, part of me was like, “she better not get engaged before me!” BUT I never said it out loud! It was just an insecure part of me that said what it said in my head. Of course, if my little sister got engaged tomorrow, I’d be super happy for her!

Also, you don’t need to justify your relationship – everyone has different timelines, and they really can’t be compared. 

Post # 3
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

You don’t need to explain your relationship to anyone including her. I would have shut it down. As you stated, she probably is projecting her feelings from her own relationship. So, it’s nice that you’re understanding and hopefully she’ll come around.

However, if she tries to lecture you again, I would put your foot down on it.

Post # 5
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
BrynRyley :  I moved in with my guy 8 months after we met! People can be judgy, but really, whatever works for you and your BF is what matters. I can understand the awkwardness, though – my guy insisted on me meeting his parents 3 weeks in, and then I went to one of his closest friend’s weddings after a month. It was a little weird, but it’s what worked for us!

Post # 6
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

My husband and I got engaged after 6 months of dating. A few of my friends were very upset and haven’t spoken to me since, and most other people doubted we would ever make it together. We’ve currently been together now for over 3 years, and just got married 2 weeks ago. I couldn’t be happier. 

Everyone has their own timeline; I understand why your sister is upset, but those feelings are misplaced. She’ll get over it, and she’ll soon have a beautiful ring on her finger.

Post # 7
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Wow with an attitude like that, no wonder it’s taking him so long to propose. I wouldn’t want to marry someone like that. She had a child raging fit. Who knows how she acts at home. Congrats on your engagement.

Post # 9
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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BrynRyley :  I know your thread title is meant to be fun and lighthearted but maybe can you consider in future how this may be a trigger to people who have had loved ones murdered. I know you would never mean any upset, but your title is quite jarring.

 

Anyway…. sisters can be crazy and she has no right to belittle your relationship. I would be very hurt if that were me and my sister.

Post # 11
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
BrynRyley :  No….. I totally got where you were coming from and saw the intended humor, I have a weird sense of humor too – just wanted to point it out.

Post # 12
Member
13917 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
BrynRyley :  While her approach may have been unsupportive, harsh and hurtful, without a lot more information, I wouldn’t necessarily jump to the conclusion that your sister is jealous or projecting.

In a recent post you said you broke up less than a year ago with someone with whom you were in a very long term, serious relationship. The typical failure to commit and propose story. The current BF is someone you’ve known as a friend for a long time, but hadn’t seen much of at all for years since both of you were with other people.

With that background, your sister might see all this as a rebound phenomenon. Does she have any specific issues with your BF or is it mostly about how “fast” things have happened?

For the record, for mature adults in the right circumstances, I don’t think your timeline is problematic. If this guy is the one, she’ll see that in time. But I also think it’s possible that she just doesn’t want to see you hurt again. 

Post # 14
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like your sister was just taking out her frustrations on not being engaged herself. While I wouldn’t have freaked out on my sister, I certainly could see myself letting out my frustration and anger in one way or another with someone I’m comfortable with – like my sister. Some of you need to cut her slack. That’s the reason it’s taking so long to be proposed to as one of you said? Seriously?? You don’t even know her sister. Wow. Sometimes hurt people show an ugly side once in a while and it’s easy to do with someone in your family if you’re close and comfortable.

 

on another note, there’s nothing wrong with you and your boyfriend having already discussed marriage. Everyone has different timelines. She could have been concerned about you or jealous even. I’d stand my ground if she freaked on you again though, sure.

Post # 15
Member
7532 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
BrynRyley :  I’d cut her a little slack. I remember being a crazy nut right before DH proposed because I was at the end of my rope hearing about other people getting married (when he and I had been together over decade already!). It’s no different than being TTC and constantly having to hear about yoru friends getting pregnant.

You know she’s getting engaged soon, so just let it slide. Chances are once you get engaged she’ll be happy for you. She’s just feeling sorry for herself right now. We all say crazy things sometimes in the heat of the moment when we’re emotional.

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