Post # 1
I just noticed recently that “Nuptial Mass” is something people put on their invitations when they are planning on having full mass. Is this necessary? The only reason why I don’t want to put it on the invites, other than being wordy, is that I’m afraid guests are less likely to come to the ceremony.
Post # 3
@Autumnsnow: I’ve been to several full mass weddings. Personally, I’m not catholic, but I always prepare for a full mass when I know i’m going to a catholic ceremony. In all of the ceremonies that I’ve been to, not one has put “nuptial mass” on the invite. If you don’t like it, don’t put it. Ultimately it’s up to you, but I don’t think people will dip out on the ceremony if you put it.
Post # 4
I think it’s the proper way of doing it, but I’ve never actually seen it on an invitatation and I’ve been to tons of full mass weddings. Maybe it’s a geographical thing?
Mine doesn’t say it – but in my circle, if you are invited to a wedding at a RC church it’s assumed to be a mass.
Are a lot of your guests non-Catholic? Because I’m not sure why you think they wouldn’t attend if they knew it was a mass. That’s kind of messed up – on their part. I just don’t see the big deal. I’d go to an hour long Buddhist (or whatever) ceremony if it meant supporting my friend/family member.
Post # 5
@Autumnsnow: I think people do that so guests know it’s mass and not just a wedding ceremony. You don’t HAVE TO… generally I prepare for a Mass if it’s a Catholic ceremony, but people like to know if it’s going to be longer and if they can eat before or need to fast.
Post # 6
I looked into the Catholic etiquette when I started planning (FI is Catholic, and we are having a Catholic wedding without mass), but I never heard of putting mass/no mass on the invitation.
However, mass only adds an extra 10 or so minutes anyway, so if I were a guest then I wouldn’t be put off because of that.
Post # 7
@kimm99: Many of my FI’s friends are non Catholic and I’ve heard some of them talking about weddings in general that mass is tedious and boring. Of course these are close friends of my Fiance and we have to invite them, I just don’t want them to not show up for the most important part of the day, the ceremony, but show up at the reception. By The Way, our reception is at a different location and many are coming from out of town. Since our wedding is really small, I will notice if they aren’t at the ceremony. Plus we are taking photos with guests right after the wedding before heading to the reception.
I was planning on putting an extra insert in the invitation that mentions about the photos after the ceremony and requests everyone arrive early/on time. Is that considered rude to do?
Also, I was going to write on the RSVPs something along the lines that to show our appreciation for being witnesses to our unity, a formal dinner is to follow.
I am only concerned about guest turn out to the ceremony because I’ve been to Catholic weddings with mass that had only 25-30 show up to the ceremony and 150 guests show up at the reception. I’m not trying to be Bridzilla, but is it too much to ask that guests show up for the actually ceremony as well?
Post # 8
if the ceremony is at a catholic church most people will figure it out…. its a 50/50 shot there’s mass or not, kinda like how you prepare for a reception you dont know if it’s a cash bar or open bar? lol. Most of your close friends and family will probably know what it is via conversations/info that gets around word of mouth… the ones who wont know are people your probably not too close with/distant relatives, family friends…so who cares 🙂
I didnt put it on mine
Post # 9
We noted that it was a Nuptial Mass on ours, so that people would know it wasn’t going to be a quick service. Most of our guests were not Catholic, and have only heard about how long a Mass is, so we thought they’d appreciate the warning 😉 We had several friends who actually did a little internet research to see what was involved, so that was nice. It helped them understand a little better.
Post # 10
@Autumnsnow: I’m Catholic and I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and I’d say a majority of them did not have it on the invite. But, like other PP’s said, I always prepare for full mass when I go to a wedding that is at a Catholic church. I’ve never been mad to show up to a Catholic ceremony to find out that it is full mass and we weren’t told on the invite. But of course, I’m Catholic, so full mass doesn’t bother me in the least. I don’t see why it should matter whether it’s a full mass or not, it’s not like people will make their decision to attend based on that information. I would hope they wouldn’t, at least, especially since a Catholic wedding without a full mass is not that much shorter than one with full mass. Probably a 10-15 minute difference or so
Post # 11
Yikes, if someone were to make their decision to not attend the ceremony based on knowing it was a full Mass, I’d be GLAD they weren’t there! 🙁
Like others have said, while not 100% necessary, it is a helpful bit of information for your guests- the Catholics can prepare for Communion, and the non-Catholics can prepare for a longer ceremony (like maybe eat a snack beforehand or something, knowing they might be there awhile!)
I don’t agree the Mass “only” adds 10 minutes… I’d say it’s more like 20 or even 30! I non-Mass will be like 25-35 minutes, and I have just about never seen a Mass to be much less than an hour – the priest would really have to be zipping through everything! (It’s rare for a regular Sunday Mass to be less than 55 minutes, and the wedding adds a lot – vows, extra prayers, extra processionals, probably starting 5-10 minutes late, etc.)
Post # 12
Our wedding clocked in at 53 minutes, full Mass. And I agree with PP red_rose– Catholics might appreciate knowing it’s a Mass so that they can prepare for Communion.