(Closed) Must there be a tip jar?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Most of the places I have talked to there is an option to do a tip jar or not and many of them forego your tip to the bartenders if you allow them to have a tip jar. If there is a cash bar I think there should be a tip jar, but if not, I don’t know why they would tell you, you must have it out.

Edit: I don’t think it will look tacky, especially if you make a cute one. Maybe make one with a cute little poll about you as a couple? Like, first baby boy or girl? And your guests can put their money in the one they think. Then it’s more cute and less “money-grabby.” If I were a guest I wouldn’t notice though.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  .
Post # 3
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I feel like the word tacky is getting thrown around a lot on the boards lately.

A tip jar for a bartender is not tacky. No one will even think twice about that.

Post # 4
2574 posts
Sugar bee

This may not be the answer your looking for but maybe ask how much the bar staff usually makes a night and tip that before hand and ask if they would be alright with that instead of asking your guests?

Post # 5
46972 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Buzzy-little-bee:  I would tell the venue that I did not want a tip jar and I would pay the bartenders’ gratuity myself.

A tip jar gives your guests the message that someone expects them to dig into their wallet and tip for their drinks. Just as paying for the drinks is the responsibility of  the host, so is tipping.

Post # 6
3412 posts
Sugar bee

Buzzy-little-bee:  This should absolutely not be a necessity. We did not want a tip jar, so we tipped the bartenders for the whole night, and we put in their contract that that was what we were doing and that they weren’t allowed a tip jar. Unfortunately in my case, the bartenders put one out anyway and I didn’t find out and do something about it until hours into the wedding, but yes, you should be able to stipulate in the contract that you will be giving them a tip in lieu of a jar. 

Post # 7
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I do not feel there should be a tip jar at the bar because the couple hosting the wedding should be covering the gratuity for the vendors they have hired.

Post # 8
14731 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If tip is included in your charges already, then I would absolutely ask for the tip jar to be removed.  There is no reason for you guest to have to tip them on top of what you paid if you have already tipped them for all your guest. 

If you are not payng their tip, then I think there is no choice but to leave a tip jar, especially if it’s an open bar since people would assume you paid for the tip as well and they would then get nothing.

And if it is a cash bar, then obviously you have not paid the tip, and I think it’s ok to have a jar.

Tacky or ugly or whatever is irrlevant.  It comes down to if you have tipped them yet or not imo.

Post # 9
4041 posts
Honey bee

I saw a small “tip tray” on a bar, a few years ago, but other than that, I haven’t seen a tip container in decades.  I’ve never added to one, as I will drink one soda, in the course of the reception. Most venues do not use them/discourage them, but allow bartenders to collect cash behind the bar. I talked with and visited a number of venues , over the past few years, through planning weddings for both daughters. Either they included gratuities in their rates or added them on at the end. I.E. our 8/14 wedding, the fee for 4 hours of open bar was $44. Sales tax was included in that rate, but a 20% gratuity was added-on. Therefore, the bartenders already were receiving $8.8 per guest from us.

Post # 10
4224 posts
Honey bee

Are you doing an open or cash bar? 

Can you pay a gratuity fee instead? 

Post # 11
260 posts
Helper bee

even with an open bar, bartendars work in part for the tips.  you can ask if you can pay a larger lump sum or % for the tip, but typically people will tip if there is a live bartendar.  even at open bars, i tip

Post # 12
7292 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have never been to a wedding without a tip jar so it wouldn’t seem tacky to me.

If it bothers you, tell them you will pay the gratuity with your final bill.

Post # 13
1605 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Where I live, people do not allow tip jars.  This is something that should be addressed when you sign contract.  Why should bartenders get tips and not wait staff?  

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