Post # 1
I need some help here…
I do not plan to have a gift registry because we really need some cash….Also I want to take my time in the store to pick what I really want instead of put something cheap on the registy just for the sake of a list.
I am Chinese and we usually just take cash in red envelopes in a wedding. But my co-workers (non-Chinese) kept asking me if I have a gift registry.
They are much older than me so I thought to myself, maybe it’s because the old fashion way is to give the bride a gift, not cash/gift card?
Is it OK to just put gift gard on the registry? Will that be rude? Or it’s even worse not to have a gift registry when people want to give me gifts?
Post # 3
I don’t know if it is rude to put just gift cards or not, but I do think that people will get you a present whether you register or not. Registering just makes it easier to help pick the right gift and get the couple something that they need and don’t already have. You can always take things back and exchange too 🙂 You can take your time registering too and pick out what you really want.
Post # 4
It isn’t old fashioned to give the bride a gift, it is still how a lot of people do it which is why your coworkers are expecting a registry. When you’re registering you shouldn’t just put something cheap on the list, we did our registry over a period of weeks and we have some very expensive things on there. We also have cheap things on there but they are things we need that just add up. Our registry has a gift card right on it, we didn’t request it, it’s just automatic and that’s what we’ll more than likely end up getting since our wedding is out of town. It would probably be rude to only put a gift card on the registry and nothing else. If you don’t have a registry a lot of people might think you don’t want gifts and the people who realize you only want money might get offended.
Post # 5
I would recommend having a gift registry for people like your co-workers- some people just like giving actual gifts. We strongly encouraged gift cards/cash for our wedding but did a small registry just in case, and ended up getting quite a bit of actual gifts…I would recommend biting the bullet and registering somewhere nice. You could always make it obscure, then maybe they’ll give you cash anyway!
Post # 6
We found it useful to have a registry. We didn’t initially, but some people really prefer buying something tangible, so we figured it was better to register and get things we liked than not register and take our chances with some of our relatives’ questionable taste.
So I would suggest registering for at least a few actual items besides having the gift card option available. Besides, if you plan on buying new things for yourselves later, many registries give you a completion discount when you buy the remaining items yourself, so it’s worth it later on!
Post # 7
I think you pinpointed your answer in your post. You’re Chinese and in your culture guests give red envelopes. The people asking for a registry are not Chinese. It’s not really an old-people thing, it’s an American thing. Many Americans are comfortable giving cash, but those who are typically don’t ask where you are registered. Because they’re asking where you’re registered, they want to buy you a physical gift. If you tell them where you’re registered, and all you’ve registered is for… cash, they’re still going to probably buy you a gift.
So either register or don’t, and it’s fine if you don’t, but realize no matter what you do people who want to give you physical gifts will.
Post # 8
So the secretary at work ask me about the gift registry again today…I guess I will do one just for the co-workers…feel bad to insist I just want cash/gift card…
Post # 9
My friend didn’t want gifts, just cash and so she didn’t set up a registry. People ended up bringing gifts anyway. Things they thought the couple needed. Appliances and such. They got a lot of stuff they didn’t need/want, had to return a lot of it and then thank the guests for stuff they didn’t want
Post # 10
Exactly…that’s why I think might as well just do one if co-workers feel more comfortable giving me gift. I am just going to pick some stuff i really like!