(Closed) Must you invite your boss/coworkers to your wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

No, you don’t HAVE to invite anyone. It’s really whatever you feel comfortable with. Besides, this isn’t just a party or get together at your place, this is your wedding. I think most people expect it to be family and very close friends. These friends just don’t sound that close.

Post # 4
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Great Question for the Etiquette Board…

And here is a link to a past topic where all that was discussed quite extensively.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/1s-for-co-workers#axzz2LbkFpGMr

Be sure and read the replies from aspasia475  (Reply # 6) and myself (Reply # 12) as it goes into a bit about WHY it is important to keep your Career Life seperate from your Personal Life.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 5
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@roseyposey:  I don’t think anyone is obligated to invite their bosses or coworkers to their weddings. I always go with the thought that you keep work at work and you have a life outside of work. Especially inviting your boss, I think it would be awkward no matter how well one gets along with their boss. And coworkers, I think it depends on the level of friendship you have with them. If is occasional and casual, I wouldn’t invite them. 

Post # 6
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Even though I get along really well with all my coworkers and my manager, I didn’t invite any of them. I am of course closer to some than I am to others, and I would have felt bad not inviting them all. That was just too many people to add to our already long guest list. Besides, we work retail, so someone has to work that day. It just can’t be me!

They are all throwing me a mini shower next Friday, though. I’m very excited!

Post # 7
Hostess
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You don’t have to invite EVERYONE, but I hear if you invite a/some coworkers, you should invite your supervisor.

Post # 8
Hostess
11278 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@roseyposey: No you don’t if you don’t want to. I didn’t.

Post # 9
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

NO!!!!! honestly, if you cant have them as facebook friends then dont invite! for policy reasons lots of companies will tell you which brances of the company you cant associate with on fb and etc and this seems to be a good rule, however, ITS YOUR DAY! you invite ppl you want.

We came to the conclusion that the people we were going to invite were going to bear witness to a very special thing. We wanted ppl who wouild hold us accountable to our vows and everything we said, as well as being able to call all those individuals when we needed help. Thats how we based it.

 

Good Luck

Post # 10
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I think most people expect it to be family and very close friends.

Post # 11
Member
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

No, you dont have to invite anyone you dont want to invite. 

I’m inviting some coworkers, but we’re extremely close and I’ve known them for years. But theres other coworkers that I’m not as close to and some that I just downright do not like, and they will not be invited. It works out that way though, cause not everyone can be off, some people have to be there to run the store. 

Post # 12
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, definitely not. I actually do hang out with some of my co-workers every few months outside work, we’ll go to the bar or they’ll come see my husband’s band play or something. They still weren’t invited, because the guest list was just kinda getting out of control, and we had to draw the line somewhere. No one was offended.

Post # 13
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No way!

Post # 14
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I ran into this problem too.  How I did it was asking myself “would I feel weird/awkward inviting this person to a party or out to do something outside of work?” No = invite, yes = no invite.

No bosses were invited, partly because I would feel awkward drinking/dancing with them around and partly because I didn’t want to devote guest list space to them AND their wives/kids.  All the coworkers I invited are single or aren’t being allowed a +1 so it’s a minor burden on my guest list.

Post # 15
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Absolutely NO, you do NOT have to invite coworkers.

Actually, you don’t HAVE to invite anyone.  Think of your guest list on these terms:

1. How comfortable am I in sharing one of the most intimate and meaningful days of my life with this person?  Is this person judgmental? Can I let loose and really be myself around this person?  What impact will this person’s presence have?

2. How much does this person mean to me?  Consider this deeply. Do you even like them? What has been their role in my life (or fiance’s life)?

3. Am I thinking of inviting them for political reasons (e.g., inviting your boss because you think the gesture would somehow help your working relationship; inviting someone only because they invited you to their wedding; inviting your dad’s business associate, etc.)?

4. Do I see this person being a part of my life a year from now? Five years from now? (Apply this mentality when thinking of inviting co-workers: if you were to leave your job, would you maintain a personal relationship with these people [not the same as a networking relationship]?)

5. Am I inviting people just to add volume to my guest list because I want a larger wedding?

 

I am only inviting one co-worker. But this is because the co-worker is one of my best friends outside of work first, and just happens to work with me.

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