(Closed) mutiny with the family in law to be!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

WHOA!!!  Not a nice thing to say at all to you!  That’s unacceptable.  I’m really sorry.  They do not show good moral chartacter if they’re attacking you and your fiance.

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I agree, I assume these people are Christians but seem to be behaving in a very un-Christ like way. What did your Fiance say? I can’t imagine DH letting his family say those things about me, he would rather never see them again. He needs to stick up for you, for starters. I don’t think I’d be spending any more time with people like that if I could help it. Life is hard enough as it is! Try not to feel attacked, it is their narrow mindedness that’s the problem rather than your religious beliefs, career choices or previous experiences. Wishing you all the best!

Post # 6
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, I am so sorry that your Future In-Laws treat you sooo badly.  I would stay far far far away from them.  And I would never let them know ANY of your personal business!  That is just terrible.  I hope that you will be living far away from them!!!  Hugs

Post # 7
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh man, I would have such a snarky comment for them if they said something like that to me (after I picked my jaw up from the floor). Maybe something along the lines of “Yes, isn’t it great that Simon is such a good representative for vicar’s – open minded, appreciative of the differences of others and non-judgmental? It’s one of the reasons I love him so.”

Post # 9
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I really like Goldilocks1107‘s response! His family could learn a lesson from him! Sheesh! I’m so sorry you have to deal with such unfriendly future inlaws. I hope he tells them going forward that 1) loving one another and being committed to one another is more important than having things in common and 2) they have no right to speak about his chosen partner that way and 3) that they could practice a little empathy and compassion!

Post # 10
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh, I am sorry.  That is a horrible and judgemental thing to say about you- especially what the brother said.  I don’t know what to say.  It sounds like a pretty judgemental group you are heading into.  I don’t believe in people that lack compassion, no matter what church they belong to.

Post # 11
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hun, I totally understand how you feel, my FI’s grandmother told me I was Satan’s minister and was sent to take him into hell b/c I’m Catholic!…LUCKILY for me there’s only a select few in his family who agree with her. I’ve learned to just smile and accept it b/c we love each other. There are certain people who believe certain things and no amount of discussion will change that…

Post # 12
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@june – satan’s minister?! that’s just out in left field, past the stands, and in the parking lot. If someone said that to me, i’m not sure i could keep myself from laughing!

@vicar – i suggest you do what i do – plan out a few good things to say in a couple of different scenarios so that if the situation ever arises, you’re ready with a response and not flustered. that way you also can have a plan for what you want to say, and not say something rash, or nothing at all. I like goldilock’s suggestion..

Post # 13
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Wow, their values don’t seem very good to me.  Is his brother married?  If not is he a virgin?  Or is he a slut?  I’d tell his mother that you thought long and hard about the unfortunate fact that a vicar’s wife will have to encounter backwards people who expect her to work for free with no social security payments for other’s benefit and her husband’s career choice.  The unfortunate propbability that as a vicar he will be surrounded by closeminded people who value superficiality over integrity and hide that behind religioun but after some loong thought you finally decided he was worth the hassle… despite his terribly rude family. 

Ughr!  I can’t believe them!

Post # 14
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should send the brother and the mom a present.  Mail them each a beautifully wrapped package with a single lovely smooth rock inside, along with with the bible passage John 8:7.  “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

They are treating you in a horribly cruel, unfair, and un-Christian manner, and deserve to be called out on it.

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