(Closed) Mutual Friends of Exes — Is it Normal to Receive Updates?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is it weird for mutual friends of you and your ex to give you updates?

    Of course not-- why would it be weird?

    Yes, definitely weird. IDGAF.

    Ummm depends?

  • Post # 2
    Member
    6420 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    1stRosie:  Most of the friends I had gained while dating my ex stayed his friend and I don’t really talk to them.  Any mutual friends it was more off hand when it came around it, it was never an actual sit down talk about my exes.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1591 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    It’s not a big deal to me. I had one very serious boyfriend before DH (and a couple other less serious boyfriends). Every one of these relationships we were friends before we dated. While I don’t talk to any of them, it’s nice to hear they are doing well. I’m a curious person by nature, so it really doesn’t bother me when they’re brought up.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3723 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

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    1stRosie:  I don’t think it’s weird at all. I’d love to find out what happened to one ex of mine. I bet he is in prison or was deported. I’d be giddier than hell to find out!

    Post # 7
    Member
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

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    1stRosie:  I think it’s a little weird. I mean, if it comes up naturally fine. But out of the blue saying “Oh, you probably don’t know so I should tell you because of course you need to know what is going on in your ex’s life”. I don’t need to know what’s going on in any of my exes lives. I don’t care. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1591 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

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    1stRosie:  If it bothers you, can you just tell the friend to stop informing you of your exes lives?

    Post # 10
    Member
    7368 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If it was a normal breakup (meaning just growing apart stuff, nothing too over the top ie cheating, abuse, stealing) it wouldn’t bother me. But if it does, then you should tell the news bearer that you don’t care for updates. They should respect that. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1270 posts
    Bumble bee

    That seems odd to me, but I only have one ex and our mutual friends wouldn’t tell us anything about the other unless we asked. They understand how painful a break-up can be and how, even later down the road, there can be some resentment there that we don’t want to recall if we can avoid it. I would almost say it is rude to bring up the ex, unless there is a good reason to mention it (like, they may show up at the same work place as you, they may be trying to ontact you, etc). I don’t think their life events are of any concern unless they’re still a part of your life.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1591 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

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    1stRosie:  Oh yeah, I can see where THAT would be a little weird. In my case, our mutual friends will casually bring it up if happens to fit in with the conversation we’re having. In your case, it almost sounds as if they enjoy sharing the news to see if it will bother you.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    3535 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

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    1stRosie:  It’s annoying and unnecissary.  I finally had to put an end to it and tell them I didn’t want to know, I had no interest in his life anymore.

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