(Closed) My 1st FMIL rant… which is probably irrational but, whatev

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

awww!

When I did the announcements for the paper, they didn’t need exact addresses. Maybe you can just tell her the city & state?

I would be frustrated too if she wanted to invite people, not know their names, and then not want to pay for them!!

Mine’s been pretty good. The preggo Future Sister-In-Law has been driving me up the wall lately!

Post # 5
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I know that my Future Mother-In-Law would go nuts inviting friends of the family if I wasn’t so strict on it. FH and I both have big families, so there is not much wiggle room in our guest list. She did at one point suggest that I make the wedding “less fancy so I can invite more people”. Um, no, thank you. While that may be what your family does, it isn’t what my family does. Ugh.

The biggest adjustment about being in  a serious relationship is dealing with the enromous differences in families. Of course MY family is totaly normal and perfect 😉

I feel better about the frustrating things when I just breathe and realize I’ll probably have a say in picking their “home”. Ha!

Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2010

That sucks.  My Future Mother-In-Law is lovely and means well (which I have to remind myself of a lot these days), but lately she has been driving me crazy.  We have a strict guest (200, which is now 240) list because we both have large families.  Future Mother-In-Law was telling me the other day that she told a family friend who lives out west that she knew they would not be in this area in August for our wedding, so we are not sending them an invitation because we do not want them to feel obligated for a gift.  No big deal, it’s the truth.  The woman said, “Oh, I would have made it for him.”  Mind you, I have never met this woman.  So, Future Mother-In-Law says “I’m sorry.  If I were MOB this would be a different wedding.”  What?  Keep in mind that we are getting married in FH’s hometown, which is tiny.  Not exactly what my parents or I had in mind, but it’s all about compromise.  Now, I am worried about how many people I am going to run into in the next few months and what she has told them she would envision.

To make things better, I was reminded the other day that they love grandchildren.  I qoute “hint hint.”  FH just sat there as I said, “well, we are not having kids for awhile so hit the snooze button.”  Then she reminded me that I am “no spring chicken.” 

I think I will be talking a time out before I give her a piece of my mind.  My FH tells me to be patient, but I have been patient enough and no longer cares how well meaning she is trying to be, because it is down right insulting. 

Post # 7
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@jennifer – What’s a wedding without a touch of the irrational?

I can understand feeling frustrated with the repeated requests for information.  It’s irritating to have to answer the same questions over and over and over…

My Future Mother-In-Law and I don’t know one another well at all, but she signed our website guestbook “Mommy.”  Don’t know why, but that rubbed me the wrong way on about 12 different levels.

Post # 8
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Dora10 – you crack me up! “No spring chicken” huh? How “well meaning” of her!

Post # 9
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Melissa…I so feel your pain, my Future Mother-In-Law and fiance’s paternal grandmother have wanted to add a ton of people, but not help us with a THING…they are working my nerve!

Post # 10
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wish I could say I know what you mean but I don’t because my Future Mother-In-Law is awesome but I will say you aren’t wrong and you have a right to be annoyed. I’m the exact away with guests, I only want people there I know and if my parents must invite a friend who they’ve been close with for awhile, I require that I have met them at least once. In your situation, the Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t even know her friends last name and wants her invited lol Absolutely not. Stand your ground girl!

Post # 11
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My advice is that if it’s your Future Mother-In-Law and not your mother, then let your fiance deal with her. Tell your Future Mother-In-Law to ask him, and tell him that he needs to support you with this. I know you’re all about to be related and everything, but is HE having to deal with all of YOUR family members on a regular basis? He should shield you from his mother. Tell him how you feel. Remind him that he might prefer to have you freaking out to HIM, and have him handle all subsequent calls from his mother — than to have you end up freaking out to his mother…

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