Post # 17
@BoxerLady: I didn’t really have rules in place… That’s part of the problem I guess.
Some cousins were invited, and some not.
On FI’s side it’s the same: some aunts and and uncles were invited and some not, same with cousins.
We just told ourselves ”closest firends and family”.
Some cousins I am not close to at all (I am not that close to all of them really), but some cousins are more dear to me so I invited them… Is this awful? It sounds like I am picking favorites… Even with the venue capacity of 80, we’ve always wanted it to feel smaller than bigger…
Post # 18
@O.My.Heart: If you say yes to them, it’ll probably be unfair to others who aren’t being permitted to bring their kids. Also, if the venue holds 80 and you’ ve already got 73, this is cutting it close… for people you don’t even want there. Politely explain that the venue is already at capacity and you had to draw the line somewhere, and that you hope they can make it.
Post # 19
It’s your call and you shouldn’t feel bad saying no. It’s pretty rude of them to ask, and even ruder to ask for a date for one of their kids who wasn’t even invited in the first place! If you think you might have room later, just tell them you can’t committ to that now but will let them know when all the RSVPs come in if you have space.
Post # 20
@peachacid: +1. leave the possibility open, but don’t say yes. let them know honestly where you are and add their kids/kids’ dates to the B list. call them first if everyone else declines.
Post # 21
@O.My.Heart: If you left out some cousins I’d def say no to cousins adding extra guests. I think others may be upset or think you’re being unfair.
Post # 23
I think at the moment you should say no but perhaps suggest that nearer the time (as in 1 week before when you definitly know who is/isn’t coming) you may have some spaces if you get any declines. If you’ve already sent your invites to 80 guests then it’s obvious those are the 80 guests you wanted there – not you godparents children! If you end up having under the 80 accept then either way you’d have probably asked some last minute reserve list guests so I shouldn’t think other guests would be too offended if your reserve list included you godparents children.
I’m assuming your godparents are going to come regardless or whether you add their children?
Post # 24
@O.My.Heart: Just be honest. “Currently, we have to tentatively say no because the space restriction is really tight. If a couple people RSVP “no” we’ll let you know asap!” If you don’t mind/would like them coming, that is. Otherwise just say “no, the space is tight and I would feel bad bringing your kids when we didn’t let other do that.” Or something along those lines.
Post # 25
By the way…..boyfriend of cousion should get an outright “no”. I think it’s rude to ask if he can come along – it’s not like they’re married or something!!!
Post # 26
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Ok, based on what you’ve told us thus far, you have invited exactly 80 people that you and your Fiance agreed upon as “the closest friends & family”
In making THAT LIST… you had to forego other people…
Aunts & Uncles, various Cousins etc.
Now you have a situation where someone has approached your Mom asking if they can bring extras.
The correct response here is NO
And for all the reasons as given by…
@MariContrary: (Reply # 13) and @BoxerLady:
(Reply # 14)
IF you had thought things thru a bit further, you might have come up with a Plan for a B-List, folks you’d Invite IF there was space
(B-List Invites go out as the NO RSVPs come in… IF you get a NO for 4 people, you can send out an Invitation to cover 2 people… this is incase someone should change their mind at the last minute from a NO to YES you still have some wiggle room)
This family was very RUDE for asking your Mother to bring their kids… and a Date for a teenager no less
8-} *rolls eyes*
You have no obligation to accomodate ANY of the extras.
If you wish to begin a B-List, then go back to your original thought process and look at the full list of Aunts & Uncles and Cousins that got missed, and WHO on there takes priority.
Hope this helps,
PS (( HUGS )) YES you will get thru this… it will be over soon. As stated the whole Invite / RSVP Cycle is THE WORST part of Wedding Planning for sure.