(Closed) My 1st Venue Melt Down – PLS HELP

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t be too discouraged yet.  It is just your first venue.  Honestly, the places that are all inclusive are sort of generic to me.  There was one I was looking at that I thought was a pretty much boring looking church that we would have had to cover with flowers to make it look more like us.  I wonder if it would be cheaper to go to a place outside of Seattle proper.  Might be worth a look.

Post # 4
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

So sorry, sweetie. BUT that you’ve asked questions that they’ve never heard before (which to be honest, I doubt) shows that you’re focused on what you need and are calm and tenacious about getting it. This one didn’t work out, but there will be one that will. Just hang in there! In the meantime, start looking at places that are all inclusive, as well as rental fees for linens, dishes, etc.
Incidentally, one of my favorite questions to ask when interviewing a vendor is “What is a question that people don’t typically ask you, but you wish they would?”. Vendors love that.

Post # 5
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

No need for you to feel badly!

It sounds like she really didn’t know what she was doing.  It’s your wedding, and her job is to tell you how her space might work with your vision – not make you feel like a freak.

I don’t think you need to restrict yourself only to venues that include catering and rentals, but it might be a good idea to contact some party supply places in your area to get an idea of what you’ll be paying for furniture, dishes, etc. if you do go for a “blank slate” sort of space.

Post # 6
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t be upset! Our first venue visit almost made me cry. The coordinator was really mean and told us that our whole wedding concept (an afternoon wedding) was ridiculous, unusual, etc. And he wanted to charge us way too much. Fortunately, we had a much better experience later that day, or I would have assumed that all venues are that horrible! 

Regarding your experience, that sounds like a high fee for just the venue, I’d keep looking (unless you have a bigger budget). We found a historic mansion on the water that was not at all a typical wedding venue but had great all-inclusive packages. But our second choice venue was also beautiful and didn’t have catering included, so I think you can go either way on this.

Post # 7
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Don’t be discouraged! A lot of vendors are just big ol douche bags, stay away from them because you want your wedding to be as stress free as possible:) Keep looking, you’ll find something you love.

Post # 8
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

It sounds like the girl who was showing you around A. Was in a bad mood AND B.She didnt know her s&%t. Im sure you werent the first bride to ask that and even if you were she could just have told you that she would look it up and let you know…good job on asking questions..its YOUR wedding and you need it to be perfect. This girl seems like she could care less. Maybe this might not be the best venue for you…or maybe you can talk to someone more responsive. Honestly $3800 for 9 hours seems like a darn good deal though. Around here in charleston, sc it averages aroudn $5000 for 4 hours…so pricewise i say thats pretty good

Post # 9
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sorry for the rudeness! I work at a hotel that does weddings, and the biggest rule of tours is to LISTEN! I would never tell a bride the stuff that she told you!

Post # 10
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Don’t get discouraged.  One of the things that I’ve experienced while planning my wedding is that you run the gamut in people’s personalities.  Just remember to focus on what you need and want and make sure that no one stops you from getting that…not even some surly building manager.

Post # 11
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Don’t get upset yet!  There are a ton of Seattle venues that I’m sure would work well for whatever vision you’ve got!  Just keep looking!

Post # 12
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have to concur with everyone else, if you were asking questions that were challenging, you are probably just being thoughtful.

That price sounds somewhat high for just a space. With at least chairs and tables, it might be reasonable for a large place. But if this is an exclusive location, I would run if the lady was that way. Mostly out of silly dreams, I have looked at some really cool places (like the Monterey Bay Aquarium), and though they were crazy expensive (like $18,000 rental with minimum $100 plate), everyone was very professional.

One of the biggest complaints you hear from people is that their vendor is not responsive. If this is how you feel now, go elsewhere, and never look back. It doesn’t improve when you sign a contract.

Post # 13
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Just keep looking…there’s bound to be one that’s “right” for you both.

As for whether you should look for an “all-inclusive” venue: that depends.  If you want things “just-so” & have EXACTLY what you want in mind, AND you have the talent to pull it off yourself or the money to pay a coordinator to do it all for you, AND you have the time to make sure it’s done the way you want or have the money to pay a coordinator (whose judgment you trust), THEN by all means, go will a venue that is a blank canvas.  It’s more likely you’ll get the look you want if you do it yourself, IF you are VERY clear & adamant on what you want.  ON THE OTHER HAND, if you have a “style” you’r going after, but are open to different interpretations of that “style” AND/OR you don’t have the talent or time to DIY the way you want it, OR you don’t have the money to have a coordinator do it for you, then you should look into “all-inclusive” venues that provide it all.  This can be less stressful – you don’t have to interview the caterer & florist & baker & DJ at some all-inclusives because the food/cake/flowers/entertainment must be purchased from the same place.  Additionally, it can cut down the number of places you look at – any place or cuisine or florist who isn’t your style is “out”.  OR you could go with something in between – a place that does all the food/bev/rentals, but doesn’t provide flowers/entertainment, will give you some flexibility.  Decide first HOW MUCH TIME & ENERGY you have for putting together your wedding yourself – this help narrow down what kind of venue you want.

Good Luck!

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