(Closed) My 5 year old knows about sex. Help

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Okay honestly, I did the same thing at that age.  I knew it had something to do with them being naked and it bed together, but had no idea what it actually was.  Is it possible she doesn’t know as much as you think she does?

Post # 4
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@rubybride718:  I got the sex talk when I was 5. With my brothers who were 7 and 3 (though my little brother doesn’t remember this one). I would just sit down and ask her what she knows about it, and to tell her that she is more than welcome to ask you any questions. If it wasn’t explained the way you want to be explained, you can try reexplaining it.

ETA: I don’t remember much about the first time I got the talk other than both my parents and my brothers were there. They gave me the talk like once a year, but it was mostly my parents asking me if I had questions about it. I think you main goal should be convincing her that while it may not be “lady-like” to discuss with friends, she can talk about it with you whenever she needs to. I know growing up I was much more concerned with getting my period, and had a lot more questions about that.

Post # 6
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@rubybride718:  I think thats why my little brother got it at 3 lol. I’m pretty sure my older brother heard about it from kids, so my parents just sat us all down and gave it to us at once.

Post # 7
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

  About a year ago a friend recommended a GREAT series of books.  I bought all three to use as we need them and they are written by Robie H. Harris.  It’s Not the Stork (for kids 4+), It’s So Amazing (7+), and It’s Perfectly Normal (10+).  They are award-winning and very well writted with great illustrations.  My fiance read the middle one with his son (8) a little at a time at bedtime.  It really opened up the door for communication and his son really seemed to enjoy learning about everything.  I feel like they are very age-appropriate and they don’t seem at all skewed toward any particular group’s viewpoints. 

Good luck!

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763600474

 

Post # 10
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@rubybride718:  I also did the same thing at that age. I’m sure I picked up the word and the general idea (naked + bed) through osmosis, but I had no idea what it actually was. Not having children myself I don’t really have any “real” parenting advice on the subject, but I would try not worry too much. Perhaps just explain that discussing it with her peers is inappropriate for now, but that you’re there for her if she wants to talk about it?

Post # 11
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee

I just want to tell you that just because she knows about sex, it doesn’t mean shes still not your innocent baby. 🙂

A PP was dead on when she said that she probably doesnt actually know anything about it.  Or at least not much.  Shes fine either way.  I know its unexpected but yes, a lot of small children do know about these things.

Post # 12
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@rubybride718:  I also remember talking about sex with my friends in Kindergarten. If I remember correctly we just thought it was when you take your clothes off an lay in bed together. We also knew it made a  baby. My Mom didn’t talk to us much about sex so  I learned alot from kids at school big mistake on my Mom’s part. I talk to my 15 Dirty Delete about sex pretty regularly and we have even talked about contraceptive and BC when she ready to have sex. I agree that the book is a great idea and also agree with PP that you should ask what she knows and calmly correct or explain things in terms appropriate for a 5 year old.

Post # 13
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m not very surprised. I remember getting my first sex ed class in school when I was 6 or 7.

If the other kids on the school grounds are talking about it with her, they probably received or overheard their parents giving the talk. Maybe it’s just time?

Post # 14
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@rubybride718:  I agree. I wish that there was a way that I didn’t have to find out about that stuff until much closer to when I might be going through it, but I do think it was way better to hear about it from my parents first (though if you hear about it from them second thats fine too) and to have the open line of communication established. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know all the details right now.

Post # 15
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@rubybride718:  Kids are learning younger and younger and you just can’t shy away from it. This may be a blessing later on in life. Think of it as you getting to explain things to her in the way you want to instead of her possibly learning things incorrectly. With 12 year olds having sex and getting pregnant these days these questions can never come early enough.

Post # 16
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not a parent but what about having an honest conversation? Ask her what she knows and that she won’t get in trouble for telling you.

Then ask if she has any more questions for you. Hopefully you can get away without the detailed description. But at least you know you can filter her sources of information and she can feel like she can come to you with future questions that will hopefully build a trusting bond between the 2 of you.

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