(Closed) My 9 month old wakes up all night long!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

First, I am sorry you’re dealing with this.

Second, I agree with the troublesome tots blog… I got a great deal of information on there and found it to be really helpful.

Here’s what we did to fix some of our bad habits during her 9mo sleep regression:

-bedtime routine.  We do the same routine, every night, and have done the same routine with very little variation since she was born.

Our routine starts after dinner & a bottle (or sippy cup of milk… still working on that one!)  DD is almost a year now, so we are on cow’s milk.  Anyway, around 6:45ish we head up to the bath, get dressed in pajamas, and I hold her for a few minutes, just snuggling.  I put her down completely awake in her crib with a blanket-toy thing (we call it a lovey).  I sit in her room and read her a poem or a short story or a chapter from a book.  I turn on her Homedics SoundSpa and turn off her light, I tell her I love her and I’ll see her in the morning, and I walk out.  I leave the door open just a crack so I can peek in without having to open the door.

*it took a while to transition from putting her down asleep, to drowsy, to awake.  During this time of transition she got 5 new teeth, had an ear infection, and had a cold.  It was a bumpy road!

-Soothing in intervals.  At first, we would let her cry for no more than 5 minutes before going in to soothe her.  After 5 minutes of crying (which feels like 5 hours) I (or my DH) would go in, lay her back down, rub her back or her belly, say ‘shush shush shush’ a few times, then walk away.

We repeated this every 5 minutes for the first night, every 10 minutes the second night (and maybe the third, I don’t remember).  By the following week we stretched it gradually to about 20 minutes.  Honestly though, after about 3 or 4 days she was going to sleep on her own within about 15 minutes.  She did wake overnight but only briefly and she was able to soothe herself back to sleep without us going in at all.

-Consistency.  If the current sleep issues are a problem for BOTH you and your DH, then it’s time to make changes.  If you aren’t ready for CIO, then CIO won’t work for you.  You both have to be on the same page, you both have to be committed to consistency.  If you try this for a few days and abandon it, then it isn’t going to help.  Since your baby is not a great sleeper to begin with, it will probably take longer for you to break these habits.  Our DD was at least at one point a good sleeper.  We just let ourselves fall into some bad habits because it made it easier in the short run.  Once we did this CIO-lite approach it really broke those habits for us, and for her.

 

Good luck, I really hope you find something that works for you and your baby soon!

Post # 17
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

You’re received some good advice. As the mother of a child who also was not a great sleeper, I know frustrating these issues are. EVERYTHING seems worse when you’re tired, and you’ve been tired for like a year. So I get it. I really do. And hearing from your other mommy friends who have babies who sleep from 7 p.m. – 8 a.m. without making a peep does NOT help.

I agree that you should work on getting your son to self-soothe to sleep. That does NOT mean heartlessly staying in the other room while he wails. A lot of people think the Ferber method is just closing the door and ignoring it — it’s not. It’s like an hour of picking them up every three minutes and then rubbing their back every five minutes and then for the rest of the night, every seven minutes going in to vocally comfort them. We haven’t done this, but I know other – very compassionate mothers – who have done it successfully and I don’t like to see them getting a bad rap.

I know you don’t want the CIO advice but if you are seriously only letting your son fuss or cry for a few minutes, I would highly recommend waiting even 5-10 minutes. There are times when I wake up and I am so disoriented that it takes me that long to stand up and throw on a robe and by the time I’ve prepped a bottle or gone to pee, he’s silent again. Another time, at my SIL’s house, he woke up at like 10 p.m. and started crying and she was like “Please, just give him SEVEN minutes” – and I was like okay, fine, seven minutes I can do. And he fell asleep at like 6 minutes 55 seconds. 🙂 And just the other night, he woke up at 11:30 and I watched him on the monitor throwing himself around his crib and rubbing his eyes with his blanket and full-on having a teenage tantrum . . . for about two minutes until he fell right back asleep. At nine months, your son IS old enough to learn to self-soothe. It’s not cruel. 

Post # 18
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

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DaneLady:  This is all really good advice.

Post # 19
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree that routine is key. 

I DD was also dependant on a pacifier to fall asleep so would wake numerous times for it to be replaced PLUS wake for her feedings too. I tried controlled crying like danelady but it didnt work for us. In fact me going in to soothe her made her cry harder.

I was against CIO but I was literally tearing my hair out. It was my last option.

I went cold turkey on everything. 

I stopped swaddling, stopped the pacifer and reduced the night feeds all in one go. It was hard. VERY hard, but my DD was overtired all day and I was in a bad way too.

It took a few weeks of sometimes up to an hour and a half of her screaming before wearing herself out and falling asleep but when she did fall asleep on her own she didnt wake up so often. 

It was about 3 weeks until i completely dropped night feeds and now at nearly 1 she will wake at 4am have a chat to herself and send herself off to sleep again.

We use the same routine for her naps and bedtime (she sleeps in her cot for all sleeps) and we adhere to the max sleep and wake times for her age.

I do find sometimes when she had too much daytime sleep it will result in more night wakings. For example our day started at 4am this morning because she had 4 hours total sleep yesterday as shes teething and has a cold. 

I completely understand not wanting to use CIO but other than waiting it out I am struggling to see how other solutions might work in your situation. 

Please make sure whatever approach you use, you make sure your partner uses it too. My DH used to cave in and go into my DD when she was screaming and we had to start from scratch.

Also, are you 100% when your baby is waking they are actualy awake? Silly as it sounds we found after buying a video monitor that DD actually suffers night terrors and wil often cry out i her sleep and sit up but shes still sleeping. We started by leaving her 10 minutes and she would resettle herself

Post # 22
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I know this question is made  many years after their conversation started , but I wold like to know What worked for you in the end? 

Post # 23
Member
2369 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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Jess1483 :  agreed. Sorry Hun but I don’t think this is a phase. It sounds exactly like what jess1483 said. He can’t connect sleep cycles. 

I have a 9 m old who was EBF and is still breast fed. He would wake frequently until he was 4 m old then he started waking twice then I cut that down to 1 and at 8m I cut his final feed. Now he sleeps average 12-13 hrs a night. 6pm bedtime and gets up at 7am generally.  I also sleep trained him at 4m using verbal reassurance method. I tailored it a wee bit to suit us but it worked soooo well for us!!!!!!!!!

i can put him down in his cot for naps and bedtime and I never hear from him again. He goes to bed wide awake and just settles himself down. I highly recommend VR for your sanity and also for his – he’ll be grateful to learn the important skill of self settling.

Also need to break the habit of feeding/sucking for comfort to sleep. It’s a bad sleep association but it is possible to break!!

All the very best Hun! Any questions on VR just ask. A link I followed is below xx 

 

https://www.thesleepstore.co.nz/sleep-information/babies-6-9-months/articles/verbal-reassurance

 

 

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