(Closed) My Address Requested… No Intention of Going

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Elky:  Well, it depends how you want to do it. You can just simply not respond. OR you can respond, make her waste and invite on you just for you to decline (a good F’ you) and not send a gift either.

It’s up to you how IN YOUR FACE you want it to be LOL

Post # 4
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would provide your address as she requested. You can formally decline the invite later, but I think it would be rude to not give it to her now.

Post # 5
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is a toughie…

You could not provide your address… but then taking that action would appear rude.

And there is a good chance in this day and age, that they’ll not take the “subtle hint”… but rather make a concerted effort to chase you down… or post something on the Internet about it (anyone know where ELKY lives ?)

Which BOTH cases will put you in an awkward sitution… ya really don’t want to or need to explain yourself to anyone

On the otherhand, you could provide your address.  And when the Invite comes just decline (no reason need be given)

And then when your Wedding rolls around, you just proceed as however you see fit… invite them or not.

This option at least leaves the door open to seeing if anyone in this group’s behavior matures in the interim

Personally, I’d probably do the latter… send off my contact info… and make up my mind between now and the required RSVP Deadline

I mean if you were part of the reason this couple got together to begin with there “is a chance” that she’ll step up to the plate and be a better friend to reflect that appreciation…

Honestly, it is all up to her isn’t it

You may as well take the high road here, and see what transpires… leaving that door open.  Then it is up to her if she walks thru it or slams it shut.

Hope this helps,

 

 

Post # 6
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Coming from someone who spent a lot of time and energy hunting down addresses, I would suggest either just giving her your address (if there’s a piece of you considering wanting to go) or, at least, reply back that you won’t be so she can stop trying to track you down.

Post # 8
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

This is easy.  You wrote this person off as a friend a year ago.  Do you ever see yourself being their friend ever again?  If the answer is no then I say ignore the contact and if she re-contacts you, ignore, ignore, ignore.  The best and most polite answer to someone you are de-friending is to ignore them and wait for them to get the point.  http://www.wikihow.com/Politely-Stop-Being-Friends-With-Someone

This will only work if this person cannot make trouble for you in other relationships.

Post # 9
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@beachbride1216:  +1 or send her an email an explain your feeling about the friendship and let her know you do not want to have contact

Post # 10
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d just go the least rude route possible.

I’d reply with my address for her records and explain that I won’t be able to attend her wedding that day.  Then I’d wish her luck/fair weather on her wedding day and a happy marriage.

It will be up to her if she still wants to send the invitation and you don’t have any hard feelings.

Post # 12
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Elky:  Should I provide my address and then simply decline the invite?

Yes, this exactly.  This is the easiest and has the lowest risk of drama.  If you ignore, or even worse tell them that you don’t want to give your address because you wrote them off a year ago, you’d just be stirring stuff up.

It sounds like this came out of the blue, I bet if you decline (don’t even give a reason) they will continue with the non-contact.

Post # 13
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Elky: Provide your address, decline on the RSVP when you get the invite. This will avoid drama of just ignoring or telling her not to waste her time sending an invite because your not going anyways.

Post # 14
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If you want to avoid drama just give her the address and then decline. You don’t have to feel obligated to invite her either. There are people who invited me to their weddings who I’ve long since fell out of touch with. I think they would faint if they got an invite from me at this point. If you don’t provide an address however it will just be annoying planning-wise for her and no sense for that.

Post # 15
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@BeachBride2014 YES! I would do this OP, that way she knows you wish her well and cannot attend so then it’s up to her to not waste an invite.

Post # 16
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Elky:  Give her your address. Wait for the invite. Politely decline that invitation… and any invitations (to weddings, birthdays, bar nights, what-have-you) until they get the f’ing hint :oP

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