my aunt is an asshole

posted 7 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
4902 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Your follow ups don’t match the original tone of your post, the post was strongly worded with “love child” and “this girl” and how no one wants anything to do with her

I do suggest that you start to work through the hand you’ve been dealt so you can find peace with it

I’m referencing the anger that I’m sensing, not your lack of desire for a relationship with this person. I think you have a lot of unresolved hurt over what you’ve been through, and I’m sure this situation is bringing it all to the surface 

Post # 17
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

encorebride41 :  You are right. “Actually, she’s better off not knowing your family if that’s how y’all are going to treat her. “

Post # 18
Member
9563 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I feel bad for the half sister – all the Aunt stuff aside. 

Post # 20
Member
4902 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

anononofmybusiness :  have you been to therapy at all? It’s been a godsend for me to find peace with my mother. She barely crosses my mind any more unless she’s messing with my sisters. Then protection mode goes into high gear

I just feel your anger over what your father has done to you and I want you to know that you don’t have to live with that anger, you can make peace with it and just leave it all behind you 

Post # 22
Member
9563 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Would you be open to at least telling this girl personally “Hey, no hard feelings but emotionally I’m not prepared to have a relationship with you?”. I feel like hearing it from you in a nice way might sting less than hearing your aunts version of “they don’t want anything to do with you”. 

Post # 24
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

anononofmybusiness :  No one asked you to open your heart to her. In any new friendship or relationship, that emotional stuff comes later. You only need to be kind and if she was abandoned by an ass of dad, she’s probably already fucked up anyways. I know you are looking out for yourself, but have some sympathy.

This is your decision to respond to her or not. Just be kind. It’s easy to understand everyone’s POV when you are speaking with kindness.

Why haven’t you cut contact with your aunt?

Post # 25
Member
6667 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I feel so horrible for your half-sister. The whole family has decided to shun her. She has no clue what you all think of her aunt. All she knows is that she was invited to a dinner to meet her long lost family and then suddenly uninvited. I’m sure she feels like absolute shit. 

 

Post # 26
Member
4902 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You guys have all known about her, but I wonder if she’s only learning about you guys now, via your aunt

Post # 27
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

If you have it in you, try to put her mind at ease with this situation.

I know you didn’t want to deal with this, but your aunt poisoned the mind of an innocent estranged family member. She could be anxious about all of this?

 

ETA: To be rejected multiple times over the circumstances of her existence makes me so sad for her.

Post # 28
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

OP I understand you are not in a place to start a relationship with this woman and hey, that is your choice.

But this whole “I’m not in the right place to do this right now” talk and the tone of your post are concerning to me.

Have you considered therapy or counseling to help you get to a better place?

No offense or disrespect meant, just a compassionate and concerned reader. I myself am looking into therapy for my own set of issues. 

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