- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
Unfortunately, I joined this site just to vent some of my frustration from what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life! My wedding was almost 2 weeks ago (March 18) and my aunt tried to ruin things…
I’ve known my family to be two-faced and it doesn’t help that it’s made up of mostly women (which leads to uncalled for competition). So, I automatically went in with the intent of doing everything for my big day ALONE. I know how I am. I’m not a drama queen by any means, but I like what I like and I don’t like what I don’t like. It’s the one thing everyone knows about me. It’s the reason I keep to myself and stay away from others. So, I went at it ALONE to avoid confusion and tension. I came up with an idea for a beautiful garden wedding at our home because we have a really beautiful garden and lots of space. Soooo, I hit the ground running full speed…I found the vendors for the tent, chairs, chair covers, bows, catering, bartender, etc. I was doing great! I even came up with a BEAUTIFUL idea for my centerpieces! I wanted everything to be my vision. So, I put a lot of thought and hours into coming up with something perfect. I was hard at work when….my family insisted that they help! They told me, “You shouldn’t be doing everything alone.” Well, against my better judgement, I let them begin to assist.
My closest cousin (or so I thought), took me to this warehouse suggested by my sister (who I’ve always had a rocky relationship with). But to my surprise, the warehouse had a lot of what I needed in bulk. I was purchasing everything individually. So, it did help to find everything in one place. So, while my cousin pushed the buggy, I threw in everything that caught my eye that I knew I would be able to use. That night, I treated her to dinner just to show gratitude for taking me to the outlet. As the weeks passed, I was putting centerpieces together, taking centerpieces apart, rearranging things trying to find the perfect matches, ALONE. I didn’t want help. When it came time to find a dress, I didn’t make a big deal about having an entourage follow me to David’s Bridal. I went alone twice and didn’t find anything. When I told them I was already looking, they (my sister and “close cousin”) said they wanted to be with me. Fine. We went and while they were looking for dresses, I found one. It was simple. A one shoulder strapped dress that fell right above the knees. I loved it. My sister ended up finding a flower hair accessory that was later revealed to be a vail (she detached the actual flower accessory from the vail and the saleswoman found it). It matched the flowers on the shoulder of the dress. PERFECT. When we went to checkout my cousin decided to purchase the dress ($89) and my sister purchased the vail ($62). Of course I thanked them and we left and headed to my house. I wanted them to see the centerpiece. They LOVED it. I also showed them how I wanted everything to be set up for the wedding. They LOVED it. They left and I went back to working on things for the wedding.
Two weeks prior to the wedding, I was still going back and forth about centerpieces for the guest tables. By then, they were consistently asking, “What can we do to help.” So, I asked them to come over and help me come up with ideas…What did I do that for? As we were talking, I came up with an idea and I instructed my sister on what to do while I stood back to see it come together. I LOVED it and it’s the one I stuck with. Well, that night, I sensed tension because they were coming up with ideas, but by then I had my own and I wasn’t going to change it for theirs. But i did tell them I would treat them to dinner just for spending time with me. In the back of my mind I thought they were being petty because they are married and had their day and stuck with their own ideas. I never intruded. But after that, I didn’t see them again until the night before the wedding. According to my cousin, my sister complained the entire time about things that needed to be done. It caught me off guard because I hadn’t asked them to do anything or to even come over! They called and told me they were coming! All we did that night was put the lights on the gate. My chairs, tents and bows were delievered that day. So, my plan was to get started on that ALONE. But my cousin told me to wait, that she would help set them up the next day which was my wedding day.
Now, up to this point, please take into consideration that I CHOSE to do everything myself. I was running around, in and out of stores and I didn’t have a problem doing it. After all, it was for my day! So, when my wedding day arrived. I was up and out at sunrise. I made it to all of my appointments on time and everything was going well. My cousin texted me at 11a.m. and I told her I would meet her at my house at 11:30 to start setting up the chairs. Well, when I pulled up to my house, I noticed my cousin’s car was there and her mother’s car was there also. Now, in my opionion, my aunt and I have always had an underlying issue with each other. I’m very independent and very driven and I don’t hide my emotions. I don’t ask anyone for anything and I don’t like things being thrown in my face. She’s on some, “I’m a Holy/ Devout Christian” but she doesn’t follow what she preaches. In short, I just don’t believe we mix well. She feels she’s an “adult” and she’s to be respected at all times no matter what. —>WHATEVER<—… So, of course I feel uneasy once I see her car but I let it go…After all, it’s my wedding day, right??? I go in and she’s (my aunt) putting on chair covers and bows. She goes out of her way to make it known that everything delievered wasn’t up to par. True, some of the chair covers had faint stains and some of the bows had tiny holes. While I would’ve normally thrown a fit with the vendor. I was thinking, “It’s the day of my wedding and I don’t have time for this or to call around for more stuff.” But she continued complaining. While she did that, I was getting the bar in order and setting up the tables and centerpieces underneath the tent. She helped with a few more things and was gone within 2 hours. Mind you, I didn’t make it to my make up appointment or to the mall to pick out my own accessories/shoes/undergarments (my brother and his friends did it for me) because I was too busy making sure things were the way I wanted them.
I literally worked on things up until 45 minutes prior to walking down the isle. So, of course I’m stressed because I have to rush to get ready because I was already behind schedule because my runner “dissapeared.” YES, dissapeared. And to this day, it hasn’t been found. But to make this long story a little shorter, the wedding went perfect. The reception was perfect. But once I got on my honeymoon, I sent pics of the wedding to my facebook page. Someone commented on how nice everything was put together. I wrote under the comment, “Awwww.Thank you! I did just about everything myself.” (verbatim). Well, Well, Well…My Aunt felt that that comment wasn’t justified. She writes underneath it, “Oh really?…You did everything?” So, of course I flew off the handle, because I had already figured she only showed up just to be able to say she did something. Well that one comment spiraled into her screaming in my ear (because I refused to go back and forth on fb. So, I called her) “I’m an adult and I’m not gonna stoop down to your level…” She went on and on about how my cousin and sister helped me and I never even said thank you…” That I complained about not liking the shoes that were picked out for me, etc. So, in my mind, I’m thinking, “Okay, now where is all this coming from?” I PURCHASED EVERYTHING outside of what my sister and cousin bought. So, if I didn’t like something, that was my perogative! So, come to find out everyone had been talking **** about the little bit they did help me do! So, of course I called my “close cousin” to confront her about everything her mother said and to my surprise she won’t even answer her phone! I texted my sister and to this day I haven’t gotten a returned text or call (since March 19). I ended up emailing my cousin because I want to know why they felt the need to make it seem like they did so much for me when we all know that wasn’t the case! And recently I found out from my brother (who lives in Atlanta!) that my aunt called my grandmother ranting and raving about me being ungrateful. Is it me or is the ***** crazy??? My Grandmother called me the day I started my honeymoon but I didn’t answer the phone. I now realize that’s why she called. But are they serious??? While I’m on my honeymoon you all calling me about nonsense!?! So, now I have all this tension in my family because of my aunt. Now, mind you, I have a wonderful husband who works hard and loves me and my daughter. We have a beautiful home and we work hard. My aunt is unemployed, has a rocky marriage and had all type of self esteem issues. But I fail to understand why she did this to me!