posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Darling, I’m sorry, I tried to read this and the giant paragraph hurt my eyes and I didn’t get far.  Would you mind breaking this into paragraphs please?  Pretty please?

Post # 4
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

how about a paragraph or 12?

Post # 5
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree. A giant block of text makes my head hurt. Break it up into some paragraphs and we’ll be happy to read.

Post # 6
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Even with the lack of paragraphs, I did read this whole thing. And I have to say…it sounds like your cousin and sister wanted to be involved, offered to help, and did everything you asked.

I think I’d probably be hurt if I was one of them and saw you posting "I did almost everything myself" on FB.

Post # 7
3942 posts
Honey bee

I read it and you do sound ungrateful. You had family that actually WANTED to help you and you kept turning it down. And on the day of your wedding you were still running around to finish things, even with their help. Imagine if they werent there to help? You probably would have been very late to your own wedding.

Post # 8
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I read the whole thing too, and have to agree with Theresa90405, but at the same time, I think your aunt is unjustified in her attack on facebook… she should have showed some restraint and talked to you in person or on the phone if she had an issue, and same goes for your cousin.

And it’s not like you said “I DID EVERYTHING MYSELF” you said, “I did just about everything myself.” – as a fellow “independent bride” – i know that some people were hurt that I did not involve them or invite them to help or offer their opinions when it came to wedding planning but it wasn’t about them, it was about my husband and me, and what we wanted… so we planned it all! Did we have help the day of? Yes, my brother delivered the arbor, my friends tied the bows on the chairs… but at the end of the day, I did nearly everything myself too!

Post # 9
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I can see why you’re bothered that it was brought up while you were on your honeymoon, and that it was  brough up rudely, but I agree with the PP. If I saw that comment I would feel a little hurt, becayse it sounds like your sister and cousin did reach out to you to try to be involved, and probably did feel like they helped contribute to your day.

Post # 10
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Whew.  I read the whole thing and had to take a breather.  It sounds like your aunt is being petty, but just by responding in any way, shape, or form, you’re giving her exactly what she wants.  Just ignore her and the rest of your family will come around.  Be happy as a newlywed and look at it as a break from everyone else so you can focus on your new hubby.

Post # 11
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Theresa90405: I agree.

Sure you did a lot yourself, but you did have a fair bit of help (whether you asked for it or not).

AND your sister and cousin  helped pay for things, found you a place to get things in bulk, helped set up, etc.

That sort of comment on FB would hurt my feelings if I was one of them.

Now, your aunt probably shouldn’t have confronted you on facebook, but I’d say your comment probably rubbed everyone who helped the wrong way.

ETA: This is another reason I almost NEVER use facebook. So many things get misinterpreted and start stupid fights/tiffs for no reason.

Post # 13
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Honestly, when it comes to weddings people tend to lose their minds. Your aunt, cousin, and sister were probably upset that you didn’t use more of their ideas or allowed them to help more and your FB comment was the excuse they needed to fly off the handle…especially the aunt. She probably didn’t think that you would call her out on it. What’s done is done now and all you can do is move on with your happily married life.

Unfortunately, sometimes family views weddings as an opportunity to recreate their wedding experience or incorporate some things that they wish they had at your wedding….and when you don’t let them, they behave badly.

Post # 14
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I read the whole thing – go me, I want a cookie 🙂

First – good for you for want to be independent and for doing a lot on your own. We can see that. However – from your cousins point of you, this is what she did:

* Took you to buy decorations

* Helped design decorations

* Helped you pick out your dress

* Bought your dress

* Helped you set up for the wedding

When you think about it, that IS a lot of work. And yes you could’ve done it on your own, it’s nice your family wanted to help. And I can see how it’d be hurtful to see “I did it all on my own”. You’re right, you did most of it on your own – but that’s not how your family sees it.

You should apologize to your aunt, cousin, and sister. Let me know you were stressed out but you truly appreciate their help. Then send a thank you card.


Post # 16
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I read your post…I understand feeling frustrated since you obviously put a lot of time and effort into your wedding.  Some people just need to feel validated for the work they do (even if you didn’t feel that they did very much).  Nevertheless, it sounds like your aunt overreacted to your fb comments and I am sorry you have to deal with this situation.  

I think a nice break from your sister and cousin might be a good thing for a while.  Just let it blow over and know that your efforts allowed you to have a wonderful wedding day.


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