Post # 1
I called my doctor’s office this morning to schedule my first pre-natal visit. I figured I’d be proactive since I want to give birth with a midwife & they have long waiting lists here. They happened to have an opening today at 10AM so I jumped on it. This is how it went:
Dr: When was the first day of your last period?
Me: Actually, I’ve been charting. I ovulated on march 22nd.
Dr: So 2 weeks before then? (looks at her wheel) You’re due December 7th.
Me. All the sites I had been on estimated my due date on December 13th & I’m kind of hoping for a later delivery.
Dr: You can’t control everything. So why are you here?
Me: I was hoping to get a blood test to confirm pregnancy. I got a positive from a FRER 16DPO but it was quite faint.
Dr: Your period isn’t even late yet. Most women only come see me much later, some at 10 weeks even. Are your cycles THAT regular?
Me: No but I know my ovulation date & my LP is always 13 days. I’m 18DPO right now & I don’t have my period.
Dr: All I’m saying is that you still might get your period soon. (Read: have a miscarriage)
I kept my cool & she wrote me a requisition for a quantitative hcg test but not before sliding in the last dig “You know, for someone who likes to control things so much, I’m surprised you’re going with a midwife.” She’s been judging that choice since I brought it up at my last checkup.
Anyway, as I waited to get my blood test I was so upset by the whole scenario. What if my hcg was low & I was just a miscarriage waiting to happen. I should have taken my other FRER this morning. I called my husband afterward and balled in the car but he reassured me. I can’t wait to never see that doctor again! Attending the midwife’s seminar tomorrow morning.
Post # 3
Sorry! I meant to put this in pregnancy! Can someone flag it please?
Post # 4
Oh my gosh, that sounds completely awful! I’m so sorry you had such an unsupportive doctor! Your period IS late, but clearly she doesn’t even understand that your LP being 13 days and you now being at 18dpo = LATE. Ugh, so sorry that was so frustrating. When do you get the results of the bloodwork?
ETA: Flagged for you. 🙂
Post # 5
Oy. I’m glad she’s not going to be your prenatal care provider! Ugh…
Congrats on the BFP though!!
Post # 6
@MrsRugbee: Can I just say:”what an efin Bitch!” …. like @hardtoconcentrate said, doesnt she understand you are LATE. Feel better honey!
Post # 7
Oh gosh! That is definitely not good. It is kind of funny how the docs are sooooo reluctant to believe that we know a damn thing about our bodies. My LMP and ovulation date didn’t “match up” because my periods were still irregular, even though I was charting and my chart that month was textbook-perfect so I know exactly what day I ovulated. No matter how many times I told them that, they only cared about my LMP date until I actually had a dating ultrasound that proved me right. Even still, their computer systems sometimes show the original due date based on the LMP, and they try to schedule my appointments based on that. I’m like, NOOO! STOP IT! Good grief.
I’m sure the midwife will be much more willing to listen to what YOU have to say about your own body — that’s why people use midwives in the first place! Congrats on the pregnancy, and keep peeing on sticks if you’re worried. I think I peed on like seven over the course of two weeks before I really believed I was pregnant 🙂
Post # 8
Ugh. I’m sorry you had to go through this… she sounds like an absolute ass-hat. I would totally recommend switching doctors after this, if you are able to of course. She was a total [email protected]#$ for being condecending and rude to you making you question your own body. For the love of god, you got a + test… is it THAT hard for her to just say “congratulations, here’s your requisition and we’ll call you??” What a cow. I’m angry for you!
And… don’t worry – everything will be just great! Will they call you with your HCG #’s?
PS. It’s not too early at all to contact someone for a midwife. The lists do get long and in a lot of area’s they are nearly impossible to get into. I emailed mine 2 days after my BFP and was accepted, and in no way did they think I was being over-ambitious lol.
HUGS. Everything is going to be AWESOME. Really. REALLY! You watch, those numbers are going to come back amazeballs and I hope your doctor eats crow for what she said.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Technology is a double-edged sword. We can learn we’re pregnant earlier and as a result we learn about pregnancies that miscarry earlier more often. That is why most doctors won’t do your first prenatal appointment until 8-10 weeks. I would assume you only went earlier to get the blood test so you could make an appointment with a midwife sooner rather than later.
That said, she had no right to be judgey about your choice to use a midwife. If you and your doctor hav eno reason to suspect you will have a complicated pregnancy and/or delivery, then a midwife is an excellent and valid(!) choice. I probably would have told her just to order the damn test since I’m paying for it but I know healthcare works differently up in Canada so you may not have been able to push the point as far as we can here in the States.
Post # 10
@MrsRugbee: Umm… whoa. I usually don’t like to swear on here but what a bitch! She was totally dismissive of you and called you controlling multiple times! If I were you, I would not go back there. I am so sorry.
Post # 11
First office WTF dr! You have a + test and you want to be seen. isn’t that like, YOUR JOB? Geez… i understand talking about the risks, but come on seriously? Its not as though you are high risk for miscarriages or something! I’m glad you are switching drs, and I hope that your #’s come back great! there is NO REASON to worry 🙂 You are good and happy and the baby is going to be awesome and healthy and pretty like mommy!
Post # 12
@beachbride1216: true.. in NY i don’t know if they’d see me if i said i got + test.. BUT they’d maybe do bloodwork if i called and said, “I might be PG”… not sure… DH’s sister waited til she was 4 weeks cause the dr said thats the norm.
Post # 13
She doesn’t sound like she has a great bedside manner, but in the US, unless you’re high risk they generally don’t even want to see you before 10 weeks, they just tell you to keep taking your vitamins and take care of yourself until then. I know that you want to get on a list for a midwife (and I think that’s great and really shitty that the doctor was mean about it), but there’s really not a lot they can do for you at this point so she probably thought you were wasting her time. Again, not condoning the way she treated you, but it might help to look at things from her side to gain some perspective.
Post # 14
Ok, on one hand she was super rude. I would change providers. But you know, most Dr’s won’t even see you till you are like 8-10 weeks- as there is really no need to. I do kind of agree that you do need to mellow out a little- there will be so much about being pregnant and having a child that is out of your control, you don’t want to drive yourself nuts.
Post # 15
I see some PPs saying that it’s not normal to see a Dr this early, but it’s a little different north of the boarder. We have public health care, which is great for saving money, but we have very, very long waits for healthcare, if we can get it at all. In my area only 30% of women who apply for a midwife will get one. So OP is right to confirm early if she wants to have a chance at the birth she wants. We also can’t always shop around for doctors as people do in the states, because most doctors aren’t accepting new patients. Those of us who have aregular family doctor consider ourselves to be lucky.
OP, I’m really sorry that your Dr was such a b%&*!. Hopefully you’ll be able to get care from someone who actally listens to you.
Post # 16
I was encouraged by many friends to call and secure an appointment as soon as the stick went pink. And if you want a natural birth only 1/4 women succeed because of waiting lists, the earlier you can get in the better. There was no reason for you to have been treated that way. Just brush it off. It’s so exciting that you’re planning on going “au natural”!!!
P.S And I hope you have amazing Beta results!