Post # 1
We started at 3k, with a small (20 person) mini elopment planned.
It grew to a 5k 50 person intimate affair
Now it;s a 100 person event with a budget that keeps going up!!
What I had wanted in the begining was an elopment to italy and a wedding at the Trevi fountain. My compramise was to have a mini elopemnt in Vegas at the Vegas Sign with elvis:
And now we’re looking at halls and talking about catering and all kinds of BS that I wanted to avoid. *Sigh*
Anyone else feel like the message is getting lost? How do I even START to talk to him about this when his arguement is always the same : He is close to his family and can’t imagine doing it without them there….all 80 of them >.<
Post # 3
Can you legitimately afford it? If you can’t, you really need to sit him down and tell him that. There is no point going into debt for a wedding, maybe a compromise can be having a reception with all his family potluck style so you don’t have to pay a ton for food?
Post # 4
We Can, I just don’t want to. I don;t want a 20k wedding. I don;t WANT a hall with 200 guests and a dollar dance and a reciving line and all that jazz. I want an elegent Honeymoon of a lifetime in Tuscany.
I feel like he’s trying to creep a crazy big wedding into exsistance with the excuse “I need my family there” coupled with “I’d like it to be tastefull
There;s tastefull and then theirs Elegent, Decatent, Black tie >:O
Post # 5
I don’t know how realistic this is, but I suppose a compromise could be that he plans the “tasteful” affair that he wants. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with all the decision making. Maybe Tuscany could be for an anniversary down the road?
My Fiance and I had different ideas about what our wedding should look like, but in the end our very small budget dictated most of our planning, which was fine by me!
Post # 6
oooooooh no… you went from Italy to Vegas! I mean… thats a HUGE difference! I say talk to him!
Post # 7
Seriously, you need to talk to him. Don’t have an argument, talk. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that this huge, traditional wedding is not what you want and that you feel like this whole thing has gotten out of control. Tell him that you have never wanted a big wedding but that you understand that he wants his family there. Have that intimate 50-person affair be your compromise. Put your foot down.
Darling Husband and I had an elegant small wedding that cost $10k (we could have done it on less, we chose to spend that much). We invited 65 people, 40 of which were our immediate family and half of the remaining guests were our mutual friends that we’ve known since high school. I would never have a big wedding.
Post # 8
I’m in the same boat as well. I really wanted this wedding to just be about us and our loved ones; meaning 20-25 ppl (family & friends). He wants to include everyone he’s ever met because each person has a special history with him (nevermind that it was over 15 years ago and they maybe interact once every year or so).
So we are having the big wedding, but it’s semi-destination (meaning it’s still in our state, but guests will need hotel accommodations) and it’s adult-only which will hopefully keep some people from being able to come (I feel so evil for saying this).
Our venue holds 160 max. We are inviting 170. I’m hoping for 125ish, but would be happy if we could keep it under 140. Save-the-dates go out mid-January; actual invites go out in June (I think)?? Does this sound right?
Post # 9
As much as this day means to him- this is a shared marriage but I always say this is ultimately the Bride’s Wedding. We are the ones who have been dreaming about our big day since we were 10. Italy would be amazing- especially if that is your vision. I would suggest a small reception or dinner party when you return and play a slide show of the wedding to everyone who couldn’t make it. Best of luck with the planning, it will all work out 🙂
Post # 10
I don’t know how to break this to him… but Vegas wedding with Elvis doesn’t sound as tasteful to me as Italy…