(Closed) My baby boy is now an angel

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 46
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wish I had some words of encouragement for you, but I am so sorry for you loss.  I think that you are extremely brave for coming here to share you story!

Post # 47
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
LAZB:  Your story made me cry. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through with your husband. I hope you find some comfort from your loved ones and from the support of those who have experienced such a profound tragedy. 

Post # 48
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m so sorry for your loss. Words never seem adequate to express this type of feeling but please know you and Baby Q are in my thoughts.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope it allows you and us bees to be able to share and support each other. I hope you don’t mind me sharing my experiences with losing a baby (not as a mother, but as a friend).

About 18 months ago, one of my good friends lost her baby at 21 weeks pregnant. It was a horrendous experience for her and her husband and, although clearly not the same type of pain, it was also hard for her friends (like me) to know what to do and how to be supportive. We wanted to help our friend stop hurting, but none of us knew how. None of our friendship group had experienced loss like this before.  Sometimes thinking away sad thoughts isn’t enough, though our friend appreciated we were there for her. My friend still grieves – she will never not have a daughter – but with time she finds it a little easier. She’ll never be like before, she shouldn’t be expected to be, but she’s learning to live her life again in a different role. She’s still herself, a friend, a wife, a mother – she’s just one who had to let her go of her child too soon, like you.

In the earlier stages of her grief, my friend shared a story with us, “The Wall”. You can find it here:

http://bit.ly/1e6eLpB. (If the link doesn’t work, you can google “the wall sands” and it should be the top hit). She said she could really identify with the feelings described by the author, and reading it really helped us, her friends, to understand what she was experiencing. We realised that what our friend needed was acknowledgement of her baby. At first, we were so scared to make her hurt more, that we didn’t really talk about her daughter unless she did. For us, we just didn’t want to bring up more pain; for her, we were denying the existence of her baby. It could be that your friends and family are in a similar position – they are hurting with you, but don’t know how to make it better. Please don’t be frightened to tell them what you need. Some days you may need to rage at the world, some days you may need to forget, some days you may need to hold onto every single thing Baby Q touched – his clothes, his favourite toys, his towel etc. I don’t think there’ll be any rhyme or reason in the way you’ll be feeling over the next few weeks, months or even years.

Over time my friend, along with her friends and family, have been able to commemorate her daughter in various ways. It helps her get through. We bought a star in her name, which is part of a constellation that becomes more visible around her expected due date. She has some plants that flower in her wedding colours around the time of her daughter’s birthday. She wears jewellery which has been engraved with either a foot/hand print of her daughter. She also got a subtle tattoo in the shape of her daughter’s footprints and her name and dob underneath. In the months after losing her daughter, my friend also made a scrapbook documenting everything she could about her daughter, including pictures of her positive pregnancy test to more recent things like the certificate of the star in her baby’s name. She, and we, can’t bring her daughter back, but we help her remember her. Some day I think my friend might try for another baby, but that day isn’t today or anytime soon. And it won’t replace her first daughter.

I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience losing your baby son. Please take comfort in the fact that he was and is loved, both in life and death. I wish you well on this heart-breaking journey, and admire your courage and bravery with sharing your son with us. Love to you and Baby Q x

Post # 49
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

You are so brave to be able to post this. I don’t know if I could be as strong as you. I am so sorry that you went through this. It breaks my heart.

Post # 50
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This breaks my heart. I am beyond sorry for your painful loss. No parent should ever have to say goodbye to their child and I hope for peace and healing for you and your family during such a difficult and trying time.

Post # 51
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so, so sorry.  That sounds so insignificant considering the situation but you, your husband, baby Q and your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Post # 52
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am so very sorry. I have no advice for you, but I just wanted you to know that I think you’re very brave to share this and I hope you and your husband have the support you need, whether it be family, faith, or something else. to get through this. 

Post # 53
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

View original reply
LAZB:  My thoughts and prayers go out to you in this very difficult time. I have no children but have seen friends and coworkers go through the loss of a child. Do what you need to do to cobble your heart back together.

A good friend lost her baby girl when she was 32 weeks pregant.  It happened about a year ago and she has been quite open about her feelings and what she has gone through. She has a blog and is quite open to people contacting her.  http://everleerose.com/

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by LarLa.
Post # 54
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. This post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this experience with us. ((Hugs))

Post # 55
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

I have no words to offer that could even begin to express my sympathy, but I am so incredibly, deeply sorry for your loss.

Post # 56
Member
2315 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so, so sorry for your loss. 

Post # 57
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m so heartbroken for your loss and I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. I know there are no words I can say that will lessen your pain, but I wanted to let you know I think you are so brave for sharing your story. I know your son is proud of you. Sending you love.

Post # 58
Member
8941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Post # 59
Member
6386 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

My heart goes out to you and your husband.  So sorry for your loss, keeping you and your family in our thoughts.

Post # 60
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so sorry for your loss. No one should ever have to go through the loss of a child. Wishing you all the best in your journey to heal. 

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