- 9 months ago
- Wedding: October 2015
So I’ve been posting in the pregnancy board for a while but as of 8 days ago I graduated to the baby board. My beautiful daughter arrived 4 weeks early and the only problems she’s had so far is jaundice (she had to stay in the hospital 2 extra days for that) and her weight loss. We’re so fortunate to have a healthy baby!
But I have a problem. I’ve always been on depression/anxiety medication but stopped taking it (with my Drs approval including monitoring me) but I think I might need it again but I’m not sure.
My husband and I are so sleep deprived because she has to be fed every 2 hours and I’m pumping every 3. So it could be that but idk. I cry at EVERYTHING. The Wedding Singer was just on and Adam Sandler sang the grow old with you song and I lost it. I cry knowing my husband has to go back to work tomorrow. I cry because I’m not producing enough milk, I feel like I don’t deserve this beautiful perfect little girl because I can’t provide her with my milk. At the hospital she had to have formula at just 2 days old and the pediatrician said we have to keep it up so she gains weight. I cry about that and feel like a failure. My husband is so patient with me and always reassures me I’m doing great but when she’s screaming at 4am and I can’t can her down but he CAN, I feel awful. He’s so calm and relaxed and I’m having a hard time doing that.
I waited years for this baby, she’s a rainbow baby and an all out miracle. I love her with everything I have. Why then can’t I just calm down and care for her???
I’m still recovering from delivery as I had an episiotomy. I’m also self conscious about my now flabby tummy. I feel like a crazy person sometimes. Isn’t 8 days enough time to recover? Am I recovering too slowly? Is it too early to ask for medication to make my head feel normal again?? Can someone offer advice??