My baby came early

posted 9 months ago in Babies
Post # 16
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Congrats on your baby and you’re doing a great job.

the first few weeks are a hormonal mess. I cried soooo much. Tbh I didn’t feel normal again until about 12 weeks when baby was in a routine and the ‘fog’ lifted.

i also wanted to add that one of the main reasons she will settle with Darling Husband is that he doesn’t smell of milk. It’s not that she prefers him or that you are doing anything you, it’s just you smell like food. 

Post # 17
661 posts
Busy bee

I just wanted to make one more comment after I saw you mention that it takes her 1.5 hours to finish a bottle… Newborn stomachs are waaaaay smaller than we think they are, so it is unsurprising that it takes so long. Here is a graphic of the stomach sizes. It’s totally normal for babies to eat very little, very often. Breastmilk is processed quickly, so when there is 1.5-2 oz’s of it in their stomach, they are going to need more fairly soon. There’s no real benefit to feeding a bigger bottle less frequently. I know that this information isn’t going to help you get more sleep, and I’m sorry for that. I just wanted to make sure you know that your baby’s eating habits are normal. 

newborn stomach

Post # 18
6657 posts
Bee Keeper

Eight days? Your hormones are a disaster, you’re still healing, your body is going through so many changes–cut yourself some slack, Bee. It take weeks to even begin to feel phyically normal and a lot longer to deal with sleep deprivation.

Congratulations on your miracle baby! It sounds as if you are working very hard to make sure she is thriving. Talk to your doctors about your feelings, go back on meds if you need them and accept help that’s offered so you may sleep. Order takeout. Let your husband/mother/friend help with the house/shopping/laundry. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of her!! Hugs.

Post # 20
9211 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sassygrn :  +1

Yes, it’s normal to have baby blues and it’s normal to cry and it’s normal to wonder wtf was I thinking, but if you have any concern AT ALL about what you’re feeling and why, and whether you’d benefit from medication, please see your doctor. The Bee’s a handy dandy place and all, but it’s no substitute for advice from a medical professional. What you’re feeling could be totally normal, but maybe it’s not. It never hurts to check in with your doctor.

Post # 21
716 posts
Busy bee

In California, pregnancy disability lasts 6 weeks for a natural delivery. That ought to tell you something about the duration of the recovery process. At 8 days I was a mess. My daughter had just come home after a 7 day stint at the NICU. Was just STARTING to breastfeed at 8 days since my milk didn’t come in until day 3, and we were pumping after that and feeding her with the bottle. At the time I thought I was never going to be able to breastfeed. My baby had jaundice too. She wailed all night and I couldn’t comfort her, I had to hand her to my mom or husband. I could barely walk. Going to the bathroom was incredibly painful. Passing all those blood clots was scary! I needed to carry a donut air cushion with me just to be able to sit down. Everything hurt and I had an insanely bad case of PUPP to boot- I looked like I had an insanely bad case of measles. In a few days, of course I would develop mastitis.

And yet, everything I went through was fairly normal. My baby was healthy, despite a low birth weight. Recovery from a delivery is a MAJOR thing.. of course you’d feel miserable and hormonal and inadequate. But soon, very soon after- it all settled down. I felt a lot better and was able to enjoy my time with my baby. Well, the tummy flab took a while to go, but it wasn’t even remotely a priority for me to look good. The PUPP itch had finally gone away but the scars would remain for two years!! Eh, whatever, it was all so worth it looking back. 

While feeling like shit is normal, given your history and the stress you’ve clearly gone through judging from your prior posts, you should see a doctor about PPD. Won’t hurt, can only help as PPs have said. Good luck, and congratulations!! 🙂

Also, do try to ease up on your expectations. Give yourself a break!

Post # 22
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

daniellemc :  I can relate. My LO is 2 months and I remember those first few weeks were tough. Heck it is still tough but it was harder in the beginning….trying to adjust to a newborn, the sleep deprivation, body healing, and hormones. 8 days is not enough time to heal. I think it wasnt healed until 4 or 5 weeks. Also I had issues breast feeding as well and had to switch to formula. I felt awful about it at first but now me and baby girl are so much happier as she is getting enough to eat and her mama isnt so stressed! But like others have said if you are set on nursing lactation consultants can help! Seriously the first few weeks are hard in all new parents I think. Please be good to yourself and reach out to your doctor if you are feeling depressed. Like others have said post pardom depression is real. Its wonderful you have such a supportive husband! Until I had a newborn none of my friends ever told me how hard it was. Now that I do they tell me all their stories how they were an emotional wreck in the beginning. I do wish women talked about this more so new moms would know it was normal. 

Post # 23
4910 posts
Honey bee

daniellemc :  Congratulations!! Definitely call into your doctor and ask about starting your anxiety meds up again and ask about postpartum. Just in case.  You never know…it could be just fine to start them again! Take care and be kind to yourself. You did just create a human!!! It is a lot of work and tiring for the body. 


Post # 24
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh bee, this hit a very raw and familar tone with me. I was pretty much in the same boat as you in the first 2 weeks. I cried so much my doctor quickly got me in to see a psychiatrist, I urge you to do the same. My daughter is 3 1/2 now and I look back at those days and wish I was kinder to myself. You have gone through a huge physical and emotional/hormonal event. And based on everything you’ve said you are a good mama. You are trying so hard and I know it’s very hard right now but it WILL get better.

I remember my milk coming in late and crying that we were supplementing with formula in the hospital to my LC saying that I wanted to breastfeed. I’ll always remember her comment ‘ you ARE breastfeeding, you just need some help right now and that’s okay’. After lots of latch issues combatted with jaundice (which made for a sleepy baby which didn’t help) we hit our stride and went on to EBF for 12 months. That being said I have mom friends who went straight to formula, some did both and some Boyfriend or Best Friend for 3 months then went to formula. All these babies are healthy and happy. 

Please ask and accept help from those around you and see a doctor about what you’re feeling. From my own experience it made the world of a difference.

Post # 25
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Girl, the post birth hormone drop is crazy. The first two to three months I was a totally different person. I just sat and stared off into space if I wasn’t interacting with the baby. I’m 7 months PP and I still don’t feel back to normal honestly.

You have to be gentler with yourself, bee.

Post # 26
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I just want to throw out there too that milk isn’t supposed to come in for 3-4 days. Newborn stomachs are so small that they only need that little bit of colostrum to start and full milk comes later so don’t stress out that your milk is “late” as it’s very very normal. Obviously if the baby has issues like jaundice or severe weight loss and your milk isn’t in after a few days then something has to be done, but boobs don’t start pouring milk immediately after delivery. 

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