Post # 1
Bees I feel anxious! By accident my Maid/Matron of Honor forwarded me the evite for the bachelorette party. I’m nosy (guilty as charged) so I peaked and I saw that she wants to charge EACH guest 175.00! I freaked out — called my cousin who is in the bridal party and she said she tried to talk her down but this was a compromise as they originally wanted to spend 300. To give some background my wedding is semi destination as all my gusests have to drive and stay at a hotel for the night. Originally I wanted to do a fun trip to Chicago or NYC for maybe 300.00 but when speaking with my Maid/Matron of Honor I realized her expectations of what the trip would cost were wayyyy too much. Long story short I cancelled that and told her to keep it local to keep costs down for everyone and this is what I see!
The breakdown was
Pole dance class
Limo Ride and
I need a way to get her to lower the price. like now!!! Any suggestions!?
It’s a surprise so I can’t directly speak to her and as well I don’t want to hurt her feelings so I have to be very careful!
Post # 2
I would assume people who don’t want to pay that $$ or aren’t interested in the activities (I would not be) just won’t go. You should stay out of it.
Post # 3
Obv, I WANT everyone to be able to affordably attend. That’s why I changed the location…. Even my sister won’t be able to afford it and I’ll be crushed if she can’t make it
Post # 4
Seems pretty straight forward. Tell your Maid/Matron of Honor you want a local bachelorette- dinner, drinks, done.
Post # 5
Maybe I wasn’t clear, this IS the local party she’s planning – not so straight forward
Post # 6
I also ran into a similar issue with my bachelorette party. Originally had wanted to go to Nashville (I live in Michigan, guests from Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Carolina and Washington) but realized it was going to be too expensive for my guests so I told my MOH/sister that I wanted to do something local instead. But she contacted everyone on my guest list, without my knowledge, and planned the Nashville trip anyways. She got a rental house and is working on the other details. It will probably cost everyone $150 for the house and activities plus spending money and travel costs.
<br />I was pleasantly surprised to see that almost everyone on my guest list RSVP’d yes and has purchased a shirt for the event.
<br />I think you should stay out of it and the people that want/can afford to come will attend. Try to enjoy it.<br />
Post # 7
Definitely nix the t-shirt. I’m guessing it’d be the one and only time they’d even wear it. Maybe go for something else they all already have like little black dresses or something if you want to coordinate but I’d just let them wear what they want.
Personally I would, and have, turned down pole dancing classes for bach. parties. I’m sure they’re fun, just not my thing and not worth paying for.
Post # 8
Is part of that cost per person meant to cover the cost for you to attend as well? It’s annoying, since you have so many other expenses with the wedding, but could you offer to pay your portion? Otherwise, I would just contact your Maid/Matron of Honor and say that while she may have sent you the invitation by accident, you’ve now seen it and you think that this is still an unreasonable amount of money to expect your guests to pay. The bachelorette is supposed to be about you, so you shoudn’t be made to feel uncomfortable about it because of her plans.
Post # 9
Ditch the pole dancing and t shirt.
Post # 10
I’m guessing your Maid/Matron of Honor is your closest, dearest friend, so I would tell her you saw the evite and you don’t want guests to spend that much. Be honest with her!
Post # 11
I would not do pole dancing or wear a bachelorette t-shirt, even if they were free. Not sure why the rest of the bridal party isn’t speaking up to your Maid/Matron of Honor, but it’s not your job to do so.
Post # 12
If she forwarded the evite to you, at some point she will probably realize she did so (if she hasn’t already).
I would just be honest with her that you saw it and would like to cut the shirts and the class. Tell her you want it to be more low-key!
Post # 13
Could you consider dropping the limo and t-shirt?
How interested in the pole dancing class are your girls? It’s not something I’d be wanting to do.
Post # 14
I would approach her directly and be honest about it. She’s your Maid/Matron of Honor which would mean the two of you are really close and she’d be someone you can talk to about anything. Preface it by saying that you know she wants to give you an unforgettable experience but you saw the email and feel that it’s too much. I’d ask her to cancel the T-shirt, shop around for a lower price on the limo and change the restaurant to somewhere more affordable as well. I’d talk to her ASAP as well, just in case she starts to make any non-refundable deposits on some of these items.
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Pole dancing classes are a lot of fun! However… when i hosted that kind of party for a friend, it cost about $25/person for the private class. There’s no way they need t-shirts… And a limo seems extravagent to me.