(Closed) My bachelorette is costing $175 per person!?!?!?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 32
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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MeandMyLouboutins:  Sorry, I misunderstood… there are people going to the party who aren’t your bridesmaids, and that is whose finances you are worried about? 

Post # 33
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i think it’s great you’re trying to keep costs down – i recently had the same chat with my moh regarding my upcoming bachelorette. I simply said that what i really really wanted was a fun, low key night where cost wasn’t going to be the reason that people had to decline. 

i would say ‘i opened the evite you mistakenly sent me and i’m so touched that you’ve planned such a fantastic event, but i’m concerned about the cost. I really appreciate everything you’ve done, but it’s really important to me that cost isn’t an impediment to people coming, so is there any way we could axe the limo and do an uber instead? i would be really grateful.’

as long as you’re kind and appreciative, there is no reason this would be seen as innapropriately butting in or ‘planning your own party’ – you’re simply voicing your preference politely. that said, if her answer is ‘i put deposits down, it’s all locked in’ then you need to accept that answer with grace and not mention it again, even if people decline. 

Post # 34
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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MeandMyLouboutins:  Wow – am I the only one who thinks $175 is totally reasonable? I know my girls spend about $300 for my bachelorette weekend…. I haven’t been to a bachelorette that was less than that…. 

Anyway – I think you should just tell your Maid/Matron of Honor that you saw the invite and tell her you’re concerned that certain people wont be able to attend. You can also call those that you think cant afford it (like your sister) and ask what you can do to help and what price she CAN afford. Can you help chip in (maybe without your MOH) knowing? 

Post # 36
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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MeandMyLouboutins:  Honeslty it’s not your party to plan- id stay out of it. If your friends dont want to pay theyll decline. It’s not that insane of an amount for dinner/drinks/a class/limo etc. 

Dont party poop your own party, just show up and be grateful!

Post # 37
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

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weatherbug:  Same here! I’ve been to a bunch of bach parties in the last year and the destination ones are usually upwards of $500 because of flights but the local ones were never under $200. None of us seemed to mind.

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MeandMyLouboutins:  If it helps, I really appreciated thatmy Maid/Matron of Honor and BMS bluntly asked me if it was more important to me that a large portion of our guestlist be able to come, or if I would give her and my BMs the go ahead to book and plan whatever they wanted for me even if it meant that certain people would want to opt out due to costs (they were between a local night out or a long weekend out of country)..maybe tell you Maid/Matron of Honor that having more people there from your circle is more important to you than the event itself?

Post # 38
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Church and University

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weatherbug:  Agreed.  $175 for all that is NOT bad.

I was in a similar situation – friend planning party wanted to do wine tasting, get a hotel, get massages, etc etc etc and a bunch of people told me they couldn’t go because of expense.  I decided to tell my friend that a local thing would be great – that I would love dinner and a sleepover with my girlfriends with maybe a Passion Party thrown in there.  Turns out, money WASN’T the issue I had 5 people at dinner and 1 for the sleepover – kinda disappointing, but whatevs.  Just stay out of it, let what happens happen, and enjoy the evening.  I wouldn’t bring it up.

Post # 39
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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MeandMyLouboutins:  For mine, it was pricey and we had a nice dinner out later and just divided the bill by everyone there. I paid for my sister so she could attend. I was will to subsidize as needed so my nearest and dearest could come. I was able to have a frank convo with my BFF who was planning it to let me know who was having cost issues and in the end, I just reimbursed my friend. It was weird writing a check for my own Bachelorette but it was more about a girl’s night and having fun than me being treated 100%. I totally get the money issue.

That said, I don’t find $175 too much, personally. Would you be willing to help cover some costs? You could say that maybe your Fiance wanted to cover the cost of the limo or the class or something? If you are not stuck on a limo, could you do a taxi or van service instead? We hired a large van and it just picked us up and dropped us off, just like a taxi. It was our most affordable transpo option.

 

Post # 40
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

$175.00 can be a lot to pay for a single night. I was Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding and there was only myself and one other bridesmaid. We spent just over $500 each to take the bride away for an entire weekend for her bachelorette. A bit much.. probably, but I live 4 hours away from the bride and other bridesmaid so it was going to be costly regardless.

 

Post # 41
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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deacon:  $1,000 for 3 people to go away for an entire weekend? Food + lodging + entertainment + booze = not so bad for 3 people.

Post # 42
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

 

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MeandMyLouboutins:  Could she be building in padding to cover you?

Post # 43
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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MeandMyLouboutins:  No, mine was a weekend away in a beach town so I guess a “local” party is a bit different. 

Post # 44
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

Just because you can afford to drop $175 doesn’t mean everyone else can. Just because $175 might be a “good deal for what you get” doesn’t automatically make it affordable with someone with only $50 to spend. The OP’s own sister can’t attend because of the cost. I mean, come on…

I really don’t see an issue with the OP having a friendly chat with the Maid/Matron of Honor to see how they can work something out to bring the evening to a price point that everyone the OP would like to have there can afford.

Post # 45
Member
6411 posts
Bee Keeper

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MeandMyLouboutins:  Just have her do the dinner and go out for drinks.  Be honest and say that you saw the invite on accident and you’re really bothered by the costs.

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