Post # 1
I’m new to wedding bee and have never posted before but thought that I might feel better if I post about this since I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it! My bachelorette party was on Saturday night and did not go at all how I was expecting it to go. One of my bridesmaids planned it for me since my Maid/Matron of Honor is my younger sister and she’s not quite 21 yet. The original plan was to have a limo pick everyone up at my friend’s house to take us all to dinner, out to a burlesque show downtown, and then back home. However, no one wanted to spend the money on the limo which was actually fairly expensive so a lot of girls said they couldn’t make it. Then, of the girls who did say they would come, about half of them sent a private FB message to my friend to say that they were just going to meet us at the restaurant. We ended up just canceling the limo service and we all met at the restaurant downtown. About 3 girls cancelled last minute because they got sick or had something come up, which I totally understand but was disappointed nonetheless and my 2 closest friends who live out of state were not able to fly out for it. It ended up being me, my sister, my mom, and about 8 other girls. I don’t have just one group of close friends but rather, am friends with a few different groups of people. Not everyone knew eachother well which wouldn’t have been a problem except that no one was really drinking much because they all had to drive. It just felt like people were disconnected from eachother the whole time and the night was very anticlimactic. I’m sure I’m just being a little too sensitive, but I’m worried that the girls who did come went away thinking that it was boring and a waste of time and that I didn’t have enough people there to make it fun. Any advice or words of encouragement would help!
Post # 2
It’s over, there’s nothing you can do, don’t dwell on it.
Post # 3
It’s over and done with, everyone will have their own opinions of how the night went but it’s not a big deal that things weren’t great. It sounds like a typical night out, maybe not as special as you wanted it to be but not terrible either. I hope as the night went on you remained positive and thankful for those who did come, as an obviously upset bride would’ve surely brought down the mood.
Post # 4
raeclark: That’s a lot of girls!! I’m sorry you didn’t have fun! I’m sure you’re wedding will be ball!
Post # 5
I can relate somewhat to how you were feeling leading up to your bachelorette. I also had invited girls from many different groups and had given my sister (MOH – planning everything) a list of like 22 girls. She was planning it as a surprise so I had no idea where or what she was planning. It eventually leaked out to me that we were spending a weekend at my family cottage – it’s over 2 hours away in the middle of the woods on a lake where there is no cell reception or phone, but there is satellite tv and electricity.
Anyway, little by little people started backing out and I ended up having 6 girls plus my mom and sister go. I was pretty disappointed as the no’s came in, and even more annoyed at the ones who said they would come and then backed out like, the night before with various (bad) excuses.
I actually had a really fun time though with the girls that did come. It was super cheap and we got to drink and be silly for a whole weekend.
I’m sorry yours didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Try to think about the ones that did come out to support you. They all want to see you happy and that’s what counts. Just know that your wedding will be a much bigger and exciting party! 🙂
Post # 6
raeclark: its over. done with. move on. mine was pretty boring too. I am not a party girl, but we all agreed to go to Ocean City, MD – which I loved – the food, hanging out at the beach, but the night scene, is not for me. We went home a day early. Lol
Post # 7
I wanted to add, we made up for it at the wedding, bc our wedding was awesome!!! full dance floor all night, great music and food.
Post # 8
raeclark: That stinks! I guess all you can really do is make sure that if you ever plan a bachelorette party, you’ll make sure to do it differently. Your wedding will NOT be anticlimatic so perhaps that day will make the low key b-party seem less consequential in time.
Post # 9
Help with what? Sorry your party sucked. Perhaps your expectations were too high.
Afterall, its just another night out.
Post # 10
I’m sorry you are disappointed but you really shouldn’t let it bother you too much. Perhaps your expectations were too high. And 8 girls is a good sized group of people to go out with. Any larger might’ve been chaos. Would you have rather it been a drunk mess and woken up with regrets?
Focus on the wedding which is probably going to be great. And wouldn’t you rather your out of town friends fly in for a wedding rather than the bachelorette party? Maybe they couldn’t afford two flights.
Try to remember that life isn’t a Kristen Wiig movie.
Post # 11
It’s like a birthday party or New Years eve… Too much build up, rarely meets expectations. I would just be grateful all those girls showed up for you and NEVER complain about it to them.
Post # 12
raeclark: I can empathise. I had quite a few people worrying about money for my bachelorette, I didn’t want people to struggle so cut a number of things I was really excited about only to have people make excuses and not come anyway. That cut the head count which meant we had to cut another thing as we didn’t have the minimum head count, at the time I was really hurt and disappointed. I ended up with just 6 on my bachelorette and, activities and extras having been cut, it was a little on the sedate side. When I see pictures of other peoples bachelorettes with large groups, all dressed up doing activities and having a great time I sometimes feel a little sad my friends didn’t make the same effort but then I remind myself that whilst the wedding and anything related to it is currently the centre of my world other people have busy lives, different responsibilites and financial pressures and my bachelorette maybe wasn’t so important in the scheme of things. I also remind myself of the work my Maid/Matron of Honor put in to planning things when shes a new mum, she had some really sweet ideas, and I am grateful to her for the thought and time she put into things.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Be grateful for those that were there with you. The rest of it, let it go. It’s over and can’t be changed.