- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 1990
I never thought that I would be someone who started with, “I’m a regular poster here but don’t want to post this under my name.” Alas, here I am and sorry it’s so long.
I had a total emotional breakdown the other day. I felt so bad for my Fiance because he really doesn’t like seeing me cry. As we approach our wedding it’s been getting a bit harder, emotionally. Obviously, we all know this can and most likely will happen, but I guess I didn’t prepare for these blows.
It all started when I lost a few members of my bridal party. I understood, but being down 2 girls against all of FI’s local and committed boys, it stung. Since that point, our guest list has shrunk from 228 to 136. Yup, almost 50% can’t make it. Guess who the majority of that belongs too, me. Almost all of FI’s family and friends are coming, minus about 8. Everyone else belongs to me. Of course, most have legit reasons. But it doesn’t stop it from hurting when your closest friends text or facebook you to tell you things like, “The office (congressman’s office) has a mandatory retreat I can’t get out of.” Great, the gov. is waisting our tax dollars and kidnapping my brother (from another mother, of course). Like i said, most have legit excuses… but it doesn’t stop from hurting when almost half your list can’t come including the majority of your closest friends.
Then, this weekend it all hit the fan. My Bachelorette party. I knew I didn’t have as many girl friends as Fiance has guy friends but this was just, embarrassing. 5 girls (including me) were there. There were about 10 others who didn’t show. We went to a nice restaurant, which was nice but you couldn’t be loud because it was so formal. No sash, tiara, or veil for me. Nothing to denote it was my night. After we went back to MY house (because the girl who was going to host at her place backed out) and I opened lingerie gifts from the 4 girls there. The end. It gets even better. 1 of the 4 I just met a few months ago and is the gf of a male friend of mine. 1 was an old roommate who is the busiest person I know but also the quietest and least “party” kind of person around. One is my new Maid/Matron of Honor (bless her, she did try and for that I’m so grateful, truly) and one was a friend who is a nurse and came late after a long shift and was tired and left not long after. Basically, I felt like the lowest priority ever. On top of that, our friends do a compliation video ever “season.” Fall, Winter, Spring, and summer. EVERY other friend has a good LONG compilation of shenanigans and fun from the bachelor or bachelorette parties… There is literally only 1 image from my night that be used and no video.
My Fiance had over 30 guys at his LOCAL bachelor night. They rented out a movie theater and played his favorite movie while drinking and eating and having fun. Then, he had another one to NYC to see the Rangers/Islanders game preceded by a stop in Atlantic City. The past few weeks he’s been on cloud 9 about how much fun he’s had. Now, here’s me.
The day after my “bachelorette” party was our joint wedding shower. I REALLY had high expectations for this, if for nothing else to rescue my weekend. I had this cute dress I bought (about $136) specifically for this and that morning as we’re getting ready for church Fiance puts on Kaki’s and a brown polo and announces that he won’t be changing before the party. I try and kindly explain that I need him just a notch better because of my dress and he’s like, “No, the dress is sundresses for girls and kaki’s and a polo for guys.
I lost it. I couldn’t stop sobbing. After everything the night before and then my best friend (a dude) being sick and not making it to our shower, I just couldn’t take any more.
Luckily, I did indeed have a good time. It was a decent turn out. A LOT of invited people didn’t make it, but it wasn’t a complete farce. Fiance did put on a button down as well. It didn’t help though that half the guests at our shower didn’t even bring gifts. I get the whole “don’t expect a gift” thing, but isn’t the point of the shower to “shower the bride (and groom) with gifts?” Bottom line, I would have been more crushed if those who didnt bring gifts didn’t come either and for that I am indeed grateful.
Now, He feels so bad. He KNOWS how much better it’s going for him than me and feels so awful that so many of my family and friends can’t come or didn’t show. Part of me also feels so bummed that I didn’t get to do what I thought we were doing, Going to a wine bar and socializing where I would get to wear the classic party veil and sash. I can’t even describe how much I love my Fiance right now because of all this. I can see how much it’s eating him up inside though I don’t want it too and I’ve been trying so hard to keep everything to myself but it all just kind of came out this weekend.
I’m sure our wedding will be perfect. I can’t wait. And all this drama has made me fall in love even more with my Fiance. I just really needed to vent. I’ve tried so hard to be laid back and just let everything flow and happen as it will but I guess the JENGA tower just lost it’s final log and came tumbling down this weekend. I spent i don’t know how long finding JUST the right dress for each event. Finding just the right accessories.
Please, someone tell me that it’s OK that almost 50% of our list isn’t coming and that I’m not the only one with that average 🙁
Would it be awful for me to take things into my own hand and invite all my bridesmaids (who will then be in town) and all the girls to go out after the rehearsal dinner? And would it be horrible if I got my own stupid sash? It seems so petty so why is this so upsetting?