(Closed) My best friend just got engaged after dating her man for 3 weeks?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’ll tell you what I learned from the Bee when I asked a similar question.

Keep your mouth shut, and be there for her, whatever happens. Whether it’s a good idea or not, she’s not gonna hear anything negative you have to say. Tell her you were friends with him first and have a right to talk to him, but about their relationship, smile and nod.

Post # 4
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Try to be supportive and tell her your concerns, but don’t badger her about them. That’s my only advice. Some people know that someone is right for them right away. So you never know.

Post # 5
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sweetpea87:  I agree with this!  She’s going to do what she wants to do regardless of what you think or say. 

Post # 6
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@sweetpea87:  +1. Every relationship is different and just because you had a bad experience doesn’t mean she will. Be supportive and positive of their relationship, even if you have to fake it.

Post # 8
Member
1519 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I would have read this post a year ago, I would have thought she was crazy. BUT hell, I went to Vegas last May, met the love of my life, we knew we were going to get married 2 weeks after we met, I moved out to where he lives across the country and here we are, almost a year later, engaged and never more in love with anyone in my life. You never know. Try not to judge and be there for her. It seems to me that you are also a little hurt and perhaps a tad jealous that she is getting married, but your engagement didn’t work out. That is totally understandable! But try to put those feelings aside, and support her the best you can.

Post # 9
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand being concerned, but you have to support her. I met my fiance one/one and a half months after ending a relationship, started seeing him nearly everyday (practically lived together), starting talking about getting married about a month later, and then moved in with him 4 months into our relationship. He proposed 2 months later and we’re getting married in May. 11 months after we met. It works for us. Maybe it’s right for her. 

HOWEVER, I would talk to her about your situation with texting him/her feeling like you are going behind her back. I would be open and honest about this and tell her that you’ve known him for years and have nothing but platonic feelings for him. I would also reinforce that you would never try anything with her man behind her back. She may just be the type of woman that doesn’t want her (future) husband having many female friends. Unfortunately, when they do get married, your relationship will change. Its just the way things work.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you and for her!

Post # 10
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Unless you think this guy is bad news (and since you’ve been friends for years I doubt it) I would try to be happy for them and hope everything works out. Sometimes you just know. I knew before I met Lion in person that there was something bigger at work.

 

Post # 11
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@sweetpea87:  + @MapleMoose:  <—-These

Fiance Carnival and I got engaged less than three weeks after we started dating and it has worked out for us; granted we had a four year engagement. I think this is one of those situations where you have to be a passive observer, because the wrong sentence could harm your friendship with one, the other or both.

 

Post # 12
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Sometimes people just know when they’ve found the right person.  My husband and I met online, and got engaged 3 days after meeting in person. That was nearly 7 years ago.

Post # 13
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My parents met, moved in together within a few weeks, and were married 5 months to the day after they met. They are still together 30+ years later. Not to say that that’s necessarily the norm for people who move quickly from meeting-dating-marriage, but it is certainly possible.

On the otherhand, I can understand that you would feel bad if it didn’t work out as you set them up, but you must have thought they would hit it off if you introduced them, right? You may have to have a discussion with her about the fact that he is your friend too, and that all communication between you and he won’t necessarily stop. I would think a rational person would understand that.

Post # 15
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@sweetpea87:  exactly.

OP, I know this is hard, but you are just going to have to try your hardest to be supportive – if you’re not you may lose both your best (girl and guy) friends. 

Post # 16
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t say anything, just smile and nod, you don’t have to love it. If it ends, it’s what happens, nothing you had anything to do with.

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