(Closed) My best friend put a random girl in her wedding.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It is kinda weird.  But…it’s her wedding.  If that’s what she wants, then I would say let her be.  Part of being an Maid/Matron of Honor is to be supportive of the bride.  So I wouldn’t push the issue with her. 

Post # 4
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree it’s weird. But since you still outrank this random girl, you shouldn’t feel like it cheapens you and your relationship. I agree it’s kind of shallow of your friend to care more about even numbers than about the relationships that her wedding party is supposed to represent. Is it a gigantic party? Also, I find it hard to believe that she had no one closer to her than a “friend’s friend” to be a bridesmaid!

Post # 5
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was a “random girl” in a wedding a few years ago.  I met the bride once and a few days later she asked me to be in her wedding.  Throughout all of the showers and parties, I became good friends with all of the girls and we still keep in touch. The only part that I wasn’t happy with was the $250 dress I had to buy!

Post # 7
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

I agree that it sounds strange to add someone just to even the numbers, but remember we all have our ideas about how our wedding should look/feel/be like. 

I hope that this “friend of a friend” works out okay and hopefully you both can build some sort of a relationship with her. Try not to think of it as cheapening the relationship. Your friend is just a little hung up things that shouldn’t matter, but try your best to move past this…you’re MOH! Be excited! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I totally understand! I feel like some of my friends will be like “why is so and so in the party? I’ve never heard KM talk about her!”… it’ll be a little bit weird, cause my friends here are so different than my friends at home!

Post # 9
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That just seems strange.    Where does she sorta-know this person from?  Is it someone her Fiance knows? Or someone that another person she knows pressured her to add? 

You said she’s shy…maybe this is a person she hopes to get to know better. 

Post # 11
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well HoneyBear I see where you’re coming from, but honestly she might be under alot of family pressure to “Even it Out” and she’s probably feeling insecure that she didn’t have anyone else to ask, so I wouldn’t let it get to you. But I definitely understand where you’re coming from.

Post # 12
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would just try your best to be friends with this girl – if you feel weird about it, imagine how she must feel, not knowing the 18+ years friends.  I would never agree to something like that, but that’s because I have a lot of girl friends and am not shy, you know?  I think it’s an odd choice, but it’s been set, so like ILuvDance said, she may end up being a friend of yours too!

Post # 13
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I think a lot of girls get upset about not having enough girlfriends to ask to be bridesmaids. They feel like friends and family will look down at them for “not having any friends.” So asking a random person might look like a sensible solution for a bride who is freaking out about looking bad in front of all her guests. 

 

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is weird, but you should probably keep your feelings to yourself. I had a huge falling out with most of my friends from college (long story, involves an ex-bf) and as a result only have a few friends close enough to be BM’s. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of girlfriends, just only a couple that I feel ‘that’ close to. It is kind of a sensitive subject for me and I appreciate that people don’t ask me about it or bring it up. I am happy with only having 5 while Fiance has 7 though, it totally doesn’t matter that the #’s are uneven..

Post # 15
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I understand completely how you feel. Sorry this sucks. 🙁

My BFF was going to ask two of her FI’s cousins to be in the Wedding Party. Yes, I realize not as random as your situation but they’ve been together for 6 years and we’ve been friends for 18 years and yet, I’ve never heard of these girls. I actually managed to talk her out of them and I guess the Wedding Party sides won’t be even now. However, I was very upset and also about the fact that I felt she wasn’t ‘honoring’ me enough. I know, totally bridemaid-zillaish. This has changed now though.

I had felt I earned it as well since my best friend is a pathological liar and has basically been lying to me since we met. In addition, she made a lot of rude comments about my shower/bachelorette party/wedding. Technically, I don’t even ‘know’ about these comments though.

@girlwitharing – I totally get it. I have two girlfriends and they do not get along at all. Well, rather the second one does not like my BFF, from above, because of comments she made about my shower and wedding. My husband has no male friends either (well no friends at all really) because we cut ties with his friends due to problems. Having a Wedding Party was a huge stress factor for me so we chose to have both of our moms stand up.

My advice is to forget what your friend is doing, it is her wedding after all. Just remember that you’ve always been there for me and been the best friend that you can and, in the end, you should feel good about yourself. Good luck with this! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I find that so very weird. Isn’t your wedding party supposed to be people close to you? I think so many people are worried about what other people think these days and allowing their weddings to become more of a show than what it is supposed to be about.

We have one more groomsman than bridesmaid and I could care less. I am just sending one of my lovely ladies down the aisle with 2 men on her arm.

I cannot imagine having a random person in my wedding just to be “even.”

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