(Closed) My best friend/MOH cussed me out – need advice

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Honestly, it sounds like there is more to the story. I wonder if she has been building up resentment that all these comments came out. I would talk to her. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I really get the sense she has been holding onto something and just exploded. 

Post # 3
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Ok, before the very end there, I was going to suggest that you be the one to reach out and apologize for your part in the exahange and hopefully be able to patch your relationship, because she was probably under a lot of stress from her sister’s wedding… This part however made me pause: 

“she is unhappy that my relationship with my SO is “too serious” and that I’m too young to get married” 

If she’s not supportive of your relationship, you should NOT ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, plain and simple. 

If you want to salvage the friendship, reach out to her and see if she’s willing to make amends.  But if you do, think LONG and HARD before you ask her to be in your bridal party (let alone the head of it) because based on her comments, that is a recipe for disaster for you which you don’t need. 

 

EDIT: Typos

Post # 5
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

andielle:  that’s why i feel like the fight isn’t about the sister’s wedding. You didn’t do anything! She just blew up at you. I think she has been holding in things and it just came out at this time when she was about to see you (the wedding). 

Post # 6
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

PS very strange that she tweeted about you…

Post # 8
Member
7417 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

There’s a weird dynamic in this story. You obviously know your friend’s sister, but not enough to get invited to her wedding, but then your friend asks you as her +1, which is just awkward and weird. Maybe you guys are a little too involved in each other’s lives which is why everything in this story went sideways so fast. I think maybe you two need to first take a break from each other, then have a little reboot of your friendship, which means both of you learning how to communicate with each other better. You should both be able to talk about your relationships; those subjects shouldn’t be taboo, and she should be able to express her concerns about your possibly marrying too young, in a respectful tone. And have you hear it that way.

Post # 11
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

andielle:  I keep rereading it, and like i said, my gut tells me there is something more. She tells you she’s not going to have time to hangout with you at the wedding and don’t want you to stress her out. I don’t know…it’s such a weird text. It’s almost a “don’t come” type of text. 

I would try to talk to her, it’s hard though because ideally it would be in preson but you don’t live near each other. I think you can be vague, and say “things have been weird, what’s up?”  Like she keeps mentioning you’re going to stress her out, or require her hand holding. I just think there’s something else. Maybe she views you as needy and is acting out in an aggressive manner rather than confronting.

As someone said, the dynamic does seem to be weird. It’s one thing to be really concerned about a friend moving too fast, but “lots of fights?” You have a history together, it sounds like you too don’t fight often, so there might be things she has bottled in that she wants to tell you . It might be worth it to talk to her and just see what’s up? It’s such bizarre behavior on her part, it’s like she snapped. 

 

Post # 11
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

There is no way that the argument was about her sister’s wedding.  She’s mad at you about something, and won’t say what.  Maybe your impending proposal? Maybe something else… whatever it is, unless you really changed the story when you wrote it here, she’s lashing out about something else altogether.

Post # 14
Member
9041 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well maybe it is about her sister’s wedding. Maybe she was extremely stressed out by her sister/family and then the thought of having to babysit someone at the wedding whilst having all this extra stress tripped her over the edge. I am not saying that her actions were right/justified/nice but you just have to read a million posts on here to know that some brides can make the whole wedding process a nightmare for those around them.

Is there any truth to her comment about “stress her out about being alone the whole time”?

 

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