Post # 1
A little backstory:
I moved out of my parents house and rented an apartment in April 2014. I am extremely animal loving person and I can’t be without pets. I wanted to get a cat but as I work 60 hours a week I didn’t want it to be lonely. After lots of consideration I bought 2 adorable parakeets (blue and green). I was in heaven. I bonded with them and I love them deerly.
My bf of 5 years moved in with me in September 2014. He was spending a lot of time and weekends at my place before then and he was OK with my little friends. However after he moved in things started going downhill.
Parakeets are loud and messy. That is the fact. They are extremely social so when they hear birds outside of the window they go nuts in their cage. They don’t sing songs like bigger birds, it is more of a screech.
Well, I work throughout the day so by the time I am back home they are already quiet and only get excited when they see me at first. My bf works afternoon shift so he is home majority of the day. Now that spring started and all those birds who migrated came back and they sing their songs, my sweet parakeets are so loud trying to socialize. Well, my boyfriend absolutely hates them.
Every time I call him on my break he is just furious. Like, hostile furious. He complains and say hurtful things (calling them bad names and guilt tripping me). It bothers him that they are loud and he can’t relax. He said that he needs to spend time away from home because he is starting to resent living with me because of them. We started to argue way more often about them and I am just so lost.
I know he wants me to get rid of them but out of respect for me he never said that directly (although he hinted hardcore). On one hand I know they are just birds and they are “dumb” so getting rid of them won’t break their hearts. But it will break mine. I am not the kind of person who gets rid of my pets when they are not convienent anymore. I treat my pets as part of family. But I love my boyfriend and I don’t want him to be constantly mad and hateful while living with me.
I don’t know what to do. Would you get rid of the birds for sake of your relationship?
Post # 2
No, I would not get rid of my pets.
Post # 3
Ahhh your poor feathered friends 🙁 Do you have a basement or spare room they could live in? Or a loud fan to put in their room to try to drown out the sound. I could never live without pets!!! I’d try a few more things first to separate SO From your birds before I just gave them away. He should respect you can commit to living things 😉
Post # 4
I would never get rid of my pets for someone; they are your children! Is there anywhere you can put them that they wouldn’t be in the same room with him?
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Are there any other options to help quiet them duing the day when he is home?
Blanket over their cage so they think it’s bedtime?
Move them to a more remote location in the house?
Listen to music while your boyfriend is relaxing? maybe with headphones?
You may have to choose between your boyfriend and your birds. How serious are you about this relationship? Do you want him to move back out? Do you want to get married? Do you know anyone (friend/famiy) who would be interested in your birds?
Post # 6
They were there before your boyfriend. I would tell him to either suck it up bc they are staying, or he can find his own place or switch shifts at work.
Post # 7
I think there is a big difference between getting rid of a pet for a significant other due to say allergies, aggression issues, etc, vs “I hate them, I can’t handle them, etc”. In the “hate” instance- too bad. They were here before you were, they are my responsibility, and if you don’t like it, don’t be there. I would never get rid of MY pets for someone for such a ridiculous reason, especially when they’ve been with me for so long and mean so much to me. My husband dislikes cats, but took mine in with me knowing how much they mean to me. He would NEVER even indirectly ask me to get rid of them.
And while you say it won’t break their hearts- birds are known to become attach to an owner, and have trouble bonding again.
Post # 8
No, I would not get rid of my animals unless it posed a risk to his health. And while I can understand his frustration (because I have 7 dogs and they can be super loud and annoying), he is not dealing well with this at all.
Maybe you guys should think about living separately again, especially if you’re not planning on getting married any time soon.
Post # 9
I don’t give away pets and I despise people who do. Maybe your bf can help you pay for a bigger place where he and the birds will have more space from each other. But kids are loud and life is frustrating, so I’m not sure I’d want to be with someone who behaves like he is under stress.
Post # 10
Honestly, some people are very sensitive to sounds, and it seems like your BF might be one of those people. I do think that his mental health is just as important as the physical health of someone with an allergy to pet dander or whatever. I think his health (mental as well as physical) should be a priority in both your lives, and I think he would benefit from hearing that you feel for him.
That said, if you love the birds, I don’t think you should re-home them.
It seems to me that the best solution would be for him to either 1. not live with you and the birds or 2. work somewhere else so that he’s only home in the evenings when the birds are not so insistently loud.
Post # 11
I would get rid of the boyfriend.
If you treat your birds as family, you would not get rid of them for anyone. Keep that in mind. They have been there for you since before you were with your boyfriend.
Also, pets are not dumb. Pets often get depressed when they are given up. They know.
I can’t respect people who give up pets.
Post # 12
We are planning on getting married. We purchased a ring and are starting to plan a wedding. I am very serious about this relationship. I agree, he is not handling it right. And it hurts me and to be completely honest makes me second guess everything. What if our child in future is sick and screams night and day? Is he going to “hate” our child because of that?
I tried EVERYTHING to make it better. Blanket over cage, lots of healthy (and not so healthy) treats, moved them from living room into the bedroom, closing blinds and shutting windows. Around this time of the year (and to be honest all through the winter) they just don’t shut up.
Trust me, I get annoyed too on weekends. But I never felt hate towards them. Plus I feel like they are picking up on his hate towards them because they are never that loud around me. It is almost like they are doing it to spite him haha.
We live in 700 square feet one bedroom apartment so it is hard to move them out of the way. I asked around everyone who is close to me and I know would treat them right but nobody wants parakeets. They are loud, annoying, and messy. I know that. But what can I do if they stole my heart?
EDIT: And to be fair to my bf, he tried to get along with them. He sings to them and talks to them. He buys them new toys and new treats. So it is not like he just hates them period. He gets very angry when they are chirping (and it is not a nice chirp I admit) literally for hours with no break. He claims that sound of that is like drill in brain and it doesn’t allow him to focus on anything. And he never actually tell me to get rid of them BUT his behavior suggests that is what he wants me to do.
Post # 13
You made a commitment when you bought your pets. I might reconsider getting MORE birds later down the road, but what’s done is done and your BF needs to put his big-boy pants on and deal with it. I’m A huge animal lover as well, so the fact that your BF is so callous about your pets and unconcerned about what might happen to them if you were to give them away (or even mentioned it all!!) is alarming to me. I be more likely to get rid of BF than my pets, just sayinh lol
Post # 14
You made a life commitment to the parakeets. You and your bf have not made a life commitment to each other. It grosses me out that you’d even consider giving them away for him. It’s really easy to say you treat your pets like family, but if that’s actually how you feel you need to back it up with actions.
Some suggestions: noise cancelling headphones (for him), more cleaning (for you), a bigger apartment so he has a “quiet” room to spend time away from the birds.
Post # 15
Don’t get rid of your beloved animals just because someone who decided to move into YOUR home doesn’t love them like you do. You made a promise to these birds that you would love them until they died. If he doesn’t like it he can kick rocks. You love your pets. He should be able to tolerate them.