(Closed) My bf HATES my parakeets, what am I supposed to do? :(

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you give away birds if your bf hates them?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 31
    Member
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s alarming how angry he gets with the birds. And I don’t think it’s that silly to compare that to how he will be with children. Yes children are different than animals but you still need patience with both. Even more with children. The way someone treats animals is a good indication of their character. 

    My DH is ALLERGIC to cats. Yet he has never asked me to get rid of mine. I have had the cat 10+ years. He knows the cat is my child. 

     

    Post # 32
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    OP you have to decide what is more important to you, your pets or the person you are considering marrying. I would not compare birds to a child you share with him either. Just because someone is annoyed by birds chirping that doesn’t automatically mean they will be annoyed by their child crying. I think you and he should consider a less noisy pet now that he is home during the day to help care for it and consider rehoming the birds. Having to leave the place you live for peace and quiet wouldn’t sit well with my husband either.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2453 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    Aquaria:  “Just realized she’s been with the boyfriend years longer than she’s had the parakeets. It’s not as simple as just expecting him to learn to deal with it. He’s been around them long enough and if he hasn’t gotten used to them by now he never will. I think the parakeets should be rehomed to someone who doesn’t find them maddening.”

    Actually, I didn’t even make that connection until now.  Boyfriend has been around for 5 years,  parakeets have been around for 11 months (April 2014).

    Which adds an interesting layer to the “they are your children” argument, given the boyfriend had no say in having these “kids”…

    Post # 34
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Did you talk to your bf before getting the birds? Maybe you and him can compromise. I would have just gotten a cat. Parakeets are annoying. I know I use to have them. Could you put them in a room where your bf won’t be speding a majority of his time in?

    Post # 35
    Member
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would get rid of the birds. I’m sorry, but humans are more important to me than animals. The birds aren’t going to die if you re-home them. They may not even care after the initial change in environment. I doubt they feel as strongly about you as you do about them. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    Mrs. Honeybee:  Actually they could die. We use to have parakeets and we rehomed them to someone we thought could take care of them but she couldn’t. Well guess what happaned to them?

    Post # 38
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee

    My opinion is also going to go against the majority, so hopefully no one gets too angry at me. I am a BIG animal lover. I just love animals. I love dogs (mostly, they’re my favorite) cats, hampters, rabbits, snakes, turtles. I love birds, as well, but I will be the first to admit that some animals are easier then others, and some make more sense as domestic pets. Dogs and cats, for instance. Dogs love affection, they are really domestic, and they have been the ‘common norm’ for a while. Cats are also great because, honestly, they don’t care about anything. They worry about themselves, tend to take care of themselves, etc. I love birds (I had one growing up) but I will be the first to admit that they’re annoying as crap. This is coming from someone who owned one for a long while, until it died (RIP kiwi). But like I said, they are very annoying pets, because all they ever do is screech-not chrip, but squake and screech. 

    I am not surprised that your boyfriend is annoyed with them, and I think people are missing that fact that he did TRY to like them. He made an attempt, and it’s not working, and he can’t help it if that constant three hour long screeching irritates him. It can irritate everybody and anybody. I understand that we should not give our pets away, and I hate when people do that. And I know a couple of people will jump down my throat when I say this, but hopefully they cease drama and don’t: I feel like, say, giving away your dog is vastly different then your birds. It is scientifically proven that a dog can feel love, feel emotions, feel attachment, etc. I have nver found such findings when it comes to birds. If your boyfriend was asking you to give your dog away, then that’s too much. But your birds? Also, I was under the impression (from your first post) that the bf came before the birds? 

    I just don’t know why people are making you feel bad about this. I love my S.O, and if my birds were irritating him (which is understanding, they’re pretty irritating pets) and he could just not live with them, I’d find them a new home. I’d find them a home with a family that has children, where they can get constant attention, because I can’t give that to them as often as I’d like (with work and what not). I love my S.O, and he is the most important thing to me. More important then my birds. He is going to be the rest of my life, and I would do what I need to do. I wouldn’t think of it as ‘giving away your birds to horrible people that will abuse them.’ But rather, ‘I’m giving away my birds to an individual who can appreciate them and show them affection on a level I can no longer do.’

    But that’s just my opinion. Hopefully no one jumps down my throat.

    Post # 39
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would hate to get rid of a pet, and I love animals dearly, but if neccessary I would always choose my husband over a pet.

    Post # 40
    Member
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - The Victorian

     

    View original reply
    sylwia212:  Can you gift him some noise-cancelling headphones? Is it possible to put them in another room? I REALLLLLLLY don’t like the idea of getting rid of them. It’s not right. It’s not quite the same situation, but when we first started dating, my Fiance was mildly allergic to my dog. I made it clear that either he could take a Claritin before coming over, get shots, or not date me. NOT a negotiating factor for me.

    Post # 41
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    sylwia212:  After reading your update OP I am gonna say definitely give up the birds. Your BF sounds like someone who loves pets just not those pets. The birds will be fine if you find them another home.

    Post # 42
    Member
    2968 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    sylwia212:  I would get rid of the boyfriend before I got rid of my pets…

    Has it ever occured to you that maybe he isn’t the right guy for you?

    Post # 43
    Member
    2256 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    sylwia212:  You got birds because you didn’t want a cat to be lonely for 60 hours of the week… but birds have to be socialized and given attention just as much as any other pet. I thought about getting love birds, but given the fact that I work and I was in school then, I didn’t feel it was right.

    They’re probably loud because they’re not handled as much as they should be. Maybe play some music for them during the day? Turn on the radio? Make sure they have stimulating and interesting toys?

    Also, I don’t know many bigger birds that sing songs. Macaws are downright squawky sometimes, as are cockatoos and cockateils.

    Post # 44
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    BIRDS SHOULD NOT BE KEPT AS PETS.  The essence of birds is to FLY and to deny them this is cruel.  If the weather is habitable for your birds, I would let them free or give them to a bird sanctuary where they have amble room to spread their wings.

    I hope their wings have not been clipped.  The insanity is when bird owners put a cage by the window so their “pet” can watch other birds fly freely.  If these are rescue birds, I apologize for my rant.  Best wishes.

     

    Post # 45
    Member
    4240 posts
    Honey bee

    They were there first, and he knew they were there. Honestly, combined with your other posts, I would consider getting rid of SOMETHING, but it’s definitely not your birds…

    ETA: OK, so they weren’t there first- oops! But in any rate, he knew they were there before he moved in and he had spent time with them before…I feel like he should have discussed it if it was an issue. And before anyone says “well maybe he didn’t know he would hate them”, my grandmother used to have birds. I knew from an hours visit that I could never live with someone who owned a bird.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  ClaudiaKishi.

    The topic ‘My bf HATES my parakeets, what am I supposed to do? :(’ is closed to new replies.

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