(Closed) My bf HATES my parakeets, what am I supposed to do? :(

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you give away birds if your bf hates them?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 61
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee

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    sylwia212:  Oh for pete’s sake, I stopped reading a lot of the responses because they are ridiculous. Get rid of the birds, or step up your gameplan to get a much bigger apartment/house/yard whatever so they won’t be such a nuisance. He has clearly tried from what you say, and it does not sound like he has been a jerk about it either. This is not a big red flag, unless he is hurting the animals or loses patience with everything that goes wrong around the house or something like that. It is just some very annoying birds (albeit cute, i get that) that cannot be trained to shut up. 

    Person you love > animal you love.

    Remember that, or it is not a red flag that he is getting tired of constant screeching but it should be a red flag for him that you care more about some birds that his own sanity in his own home. If something bothered me this much after I really put forth an effort, and my DH still didn’t do anything, I would wonder about HIM not me.

    Post # 62
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee

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    sylwia212:  You S.O sounds like a guy who really does love animals-but you don’t have to love ALL animals to be an animal lover, and he’s shown birds aren’t his favorite. There’s nothing wrong with that. I vote to find them a nice, new, loving home 🙂

    Post # 63
    Member
    5187 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Wow… just wow. I can’t believe some of you are telling her to leave her fiancé, who she’s been with for 5 years, over the fact that he can’t tolerate a pair of birds she got a measly 5 months before he moved in with her. 5 months! It’s not like they’re children from a previous marriage, geez. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    2677 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    I have to side with your bf here. I LOVE LOVE LOVE a quiet house. I could not sanely live with birds chirping all day long! With that said, I think you’re stuck between a rock & a hard place. My dog is my baby, my favorite thing ever & I wouldn’t ever in a bazillion years be able to get rid of him. My husband knows this. Was your bf invovled in the bird decision considering this was a serious relationship moving towards living together/marriage?

    Post # 66
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee

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    sylwia212:  IMO, wise decision. Best of luck!

    Post # 67
    Member
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think you made the right decision. I wish you the best of luck. 🙂

    Post # 68
    Member
    6412 posts
    Bee Keeper

    didn’t see last response previous post removed.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  pinkcorsage.
    Post # 69
    Member
    3728 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

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    sylwia212:  According to google parakeets live 5-7 years, on average, in captivity. That means that they will have 4-6 years left (if they were chicks when you got them). My answer depends on a few questions– your BF exisited before the birds and you were serious at this point, did he want the birds? What kinds of discussions did you have before getting them?

    I cannot live with birds (they drive me nuts) or cats (I’m allergic). If I was dating a guy for 4 years and he got a bird or a cat, we’d be over. Seeing that this isn’t a deal breaker for him (he moved in), I am curious at what discussions you guys had.

    If DH had a bird before we met, I would only be okay with it in a big house where I didn’t have to hear them. A 700 sq foot apartment wouldn’t work.

     

    ETA: I think you made the right decision. As sad as it is, it is for the best.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  Pollywog.
    Post # 70
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee

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    sylwia212:  Since you’ve never tamed them and they never leave the cage, my vote changes to rehoming them. Sometimes we take on more than we realize, and as long as you find them a good home with someone who has the time for them, then I def agree that you should re home them! Birds are smart, sensitive animals, and shouldn’t be caged up all the time. They have the ability to bond with people and need time outside the cage for exercise. Please find someone who doesn’t see them as “just birds.”

     

    edited to add: Also, avoid giving them away for “free.” Charging even a $30.00 adoption fee can help weed out people who take them without any sort of consideration.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  silverandgold.
    Post # 72
    Member
    13395 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Apparently some people are especially hypersensitive to sounds, especially repetitive ones, to the point it can drive them over the edge.  It’s a condition that  can sometimes be associated with general anxiety disorders, depression, OCD etc.

    http://www.abc2news.com/news/health/unique-disorder-causes-people-to-become-oversensitive-to-repetitive-sounds

     It’s not the fact that he’s annoyed by the birds, or even that he would like to get rid of them that is my issue. It’s the intensity of the anger,  hostility, and name calling.  And the fact that he is obsessed  with it to the point it’s all he can talk about, including in every single phone conversation he has with you at work.

    I’m not ethically opposed to  the idea of rehoming the birds if you have to.  But five years or no five years, you don’t really know someone until you’ve lived together. No one is telling you to break up, but I’d certainly want to be aware of it  if this behavior is a symptom of a more generalized issue.  

     

    Post # 73
    Member
    1773 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Try contacting a local Bird club! They may have a bird nerd in need of some parakeets.

    Post # 75
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee

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    sylwia212:  You’re very welcome! I have been in a similar situation. It sucks, but doing what’s best for the birds is what it’s all about!

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