(Closed) My bf HATES my parakeets, what am I supposed to do? :(

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you give away birds if your bf hates them?



  • Post # 76
    366 posts
    Helper bee

    Let me start by saying I own a Quaker parrot so I know how loud and messy birds can be.

    I also just saw your update and decision, but I’ll leave the rest of my post in case it helps anyone else.

    Let me off some explanations on WHY your birds are SOOO loud and some ideas on what to do about it.

    First, its spring. From February until about June is prime bird mating season, which means LOTS of hormones and birdy attitude. Not only will your birds be louder in spring, they’ll also be more agressive. It’s extremely important for birds to get 10 hours of uninterupted sleep a night. MORE during mating season. TIP 1: make sure your birds are getting enough sleep every night.

    Second, birds are flock animals. Vocalizations are how they keep in contact with their flock. You and your BF are part of their flock. When either of you are home, but out of sight, your birds will “call” to establish contact with you. If they don’t get an answer, they call again. And again. Louder each time. TIP 2: establish a call routine with your birds that doesn’t involve squawking. Parakeets can learn lots of different vocalizations. I’ve tought mine to say “Where” when he wants to locate me. I (or whomever is home) responds with “peek a boo.” It started as a game where I’d pop in to the room, but now I only have to “appear” occastionally. We do this exchange a few times until he’s satisfied of my location and then he quiets down. Hearing “Where” is much better than hearing “SQUAWK!” I know other bird owners who use whistling instead of words. (Developing this routine has saved me relationship with my bird, ’cause OMG he’s SOOOO LOUD sometimes!)

    Third, birds are territorial but also easily made to feel threatened as they are prey animals in the wild. If their cage is by a window anything and everything passing by can set them off; a bike (OMG! EVIL!), a cat, the mailman or serviceman (get off my lawn!), other birds, … While it’s important for them to get natural light, being right by a window can increase loud vocalizations. TIP 3: Pick a window with little traffic outside. If they are having a particularly loud day, try just coveringthe side of their cage that faces the window to reduce stimulation.

    Finally, make sure they get lots of time outside their cage and interacting with you when you are home. Parakeets have been shown to have the intelligence of a three year old child. Imagine leaving a three year old in a playpen ALL day. When you came home, what would they do? Throw a fit and want to spend time with you. That’s exactly what your birds are doing. TIP 4: Have a coming home and evening routine where the birds get let out of their cage and get time with you. They will quickly learn the routine.

    I hope these ideas help and you don’t have to rehome your birds. However, the bottom line is that birds make noise. That will NEVER stop. They will be louder in the mornings and evenings (when birds traditionally connect with their flocks at the beginning and end of their days) and nuts in spring. Either you can learn to manage some of their behaviour and deal with the rest, or you can’t. That’s life with birds.

    Good luck OP!

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by LastGirlStanding. Reason: OP update
    Post # 77
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    When I met my fiancé I had two cats. The first time je expressed some skepticism at the idea of having cats, I told him I’d had them longer than I’d had him, and that I intended to operate on a “last in first out” basis if he didn’t like them. He gave them a chance and now absolutely loves them. 

    That said, your bf has been in your life a lot longer than the birds have, and if it’s putting that much strain on your serious committed relationship and you can’t find a solution, yeah, i’d probably try to rehome the birds. 

    Post # 79
    3529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    View original reply
    allyfally:  Haha I told my Fiance the same thing.  He later admited how nervous he was meeting my dogs for the first time because he knew that would influence if the relationship moved forward or not!

    Post # 80
    2256 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think you’re making the right decision. He doesn’t sound like a monster, and they don’t sound like they’re bad birds. They’re less than a year old, so it is still possible for them to form bonds with people.

    As well as Craigslist, I also suggest you put fliers up at your local pet stores, or animal feed stores. There’s a store in my area that isn’t so much a pet store as a feed and supply store, and they have more exotic animals there (degus, snakes, chinchillas). When I rehomed my degus, we put a flier up on their cork board and a vet tech adopted them. You may get more responsible people responding if you advertise that way.

    Post # 81
    46 posts
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would also get rid of the boyfriend. He is showing you that he is intolerant and impatient, not exactly good qualities in a partner!

    Post # 84
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would never get rid of a pet because of an inconvience, or because somebody had an issue with my pets. I decided to make them a part of my life, and if someone loved me, I would expect them to handle the situation in a loving and mature manner. Do they get to get out and fly about a bit? Maybe if they had more exercise they would be too tuckered out to make a racket (I had budgies and cockatiels). 

    I have a huge problem with people who get rid of pets to make room for some other thing (boyfriend, a different pet, school, children). It makes me sick to think that a person would punish their pet for their poor decision making and abandon a family member for convenience sake. 

    Post # 85
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Rehoming an animal doesn’t have to be a death sentence.  Plenty of lovely people want to adopt animals.  Plus, there are two of them to keep each other company. 

    It’s a personal choice, and I personally would choose my DH’s sanity over my birds.  They can live for 15-20 years!  Allergies can be managed by medication if need be, but what do you do about a constant screeching sound in your home all day? It’s unreasonable to expect your BF to walk around with noise cancelling headphones in his own home.  OP said she actually had no idea how bad they were because she works 60 hours a week!  But the BF is home more than she is.  If she had no problems with the noise, how would he be the wiser before he moved in?

    I’m actually shocked that people would tell the OP to dump her soon to be husband over rehoming the birds.  

    Post # 88
    436 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    fvsoccer:  I don’t think this is fair. While I agree it is a terrible thing to get a pet and then re home them because it’s “inconvenient,” it’s also a terrible thing to keep a pet that you don’t have the time/commitment/knowledge to handle. A person who rehomes an animal responsibly is nothing to be sick over. 

    Post # 89
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee

    OP, clearly this sickens your heart too if you are on here saying it would break your heart to give them up.  Was that just so we’d feel sympathy and give you comfort if you did?  those birds love you,  and they are just being birds! 

    View original reply
    silverandgold:  my stance is that you make the time,  you learn knowledge,  and you don’t make the “commitment” if you can’t actually make the commitment.  For instance,  if you adopted a pretty puppy,  you should be prepared for the possibility that they may be high energy,  or have separation anxiety,  or health issues.  You plan for those by ensuring you can afford training,  to hire a dog walker, our buy insurance or pay the bills.  I don’t accept the excuses of inconvenience. Those are all situations that proper planning and a reality check I’m your situation could avoid.  Now, if you had some life shaking change to your financial situation or something,  that is understandable.  

    View original reply

    Post # 90
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m sorry OP you are going through this.  I am astonished that other posters suggest that your SO is some horrible monster and you should rethink your marriage to him.  Constantly squawking birds all day long are starting to drive him to madness?  Honestly, they would drive me insane too.  He tried his hardest, but ultimately, he is sensitive to the sounds and if he has anxiety, this is probably worsening it.  He obviously loves you and doesn’t want to disappoint you, but it sounds like despite his best efforts, it is not working.  Rehoming the birds to a home where they can get enough attention is best for them and for your relationship.  You have obviously thought long and hard, as has he.  To say he’s immature and not capable of being a good father?? Insanity.  I get people love their pets, but for me personally, people come before pets.  And like you said, its not like these birds are attached to you, you said they are actually scared of you. Send them to a home where they will thrive as will your relationship.  This is MORE than an “inconvenience.”  You have a tiny apartment with constantly squawking birds.  Your boyfriend is only human, a human who suffers from anxiety.  His mental health is more important IMO.

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